Hey Chief, do you have any more tips on conversation? The only thing I struggle with is coming up with things to say.
Practice, practice, practice. You'll find your own genuine style through trial and error.
You don't want to practice a scripted routine stack within this outer game model I've outlined here because that would take away from the sincere curiosity you should use to fuel the conversation.
I think most guys have trouble with conversation because they're too worried about "what should I say that would make her like me more?" or something along those lines. The conversation style I've outlined is all about shifting your focus from "what does she think of me?" to "what do I think of her?" Conversation is just a tool for you to find out what kind of person she is.
So, of course you might have a lot trouble coming up with things to say if you're always trying to impress her with the amazing words you can say. You're setting a pretty high expectation for yourself there. So much pressure! Instead, you'll find that it's a lot easier to come up with things to say if you're asking about her
and using conversation to explore her mind and life.
This is an Outer Game guide, but here's how Inner Game will be a huge factor here: if you feel insecure about yourself, if you feel like you need to impress others because you think you might be a loser, this conversation style will not be easy to adapt. You'll feel the need to try to get others to believe that you're cool because you're not even sure about it yourself, and subconsciously you believe that, if others think you're cool, it will be easier for you to feel better about yourself because you see yourself as a follower who would rather follow the beliefs of others. If you already feel pretty good about yourself, on the other hand, you won't feel a need to seek approval and therefore you will already assume your own awesomeness. You won't feel the need to prove
that you're awesome to others, and so your focus will shift to finding out what's awesome about the woman in front of you. If you still need help with this Inner Game stuff, check out the stickies in the Inner Game board of this forum.
In terms of Outer Game, all you really need to worry about is shifting the focus from you to her. In short,
Trying to DHV yourself = Beta
Qualifying her = Alpha
"One of the most common ways to do this is to evoke sexual arousal within yourself and the woman while talking about something that's completely nonsexual. "
"Because of the way in which these techniques use opposing forces in harmony, any application of the push/pull dynamic, the concept of 2-steps-forward-1-step-back, and cat string theory to the sexual vibe of an interaction will build Sexual Tension. "
First off I wanna say this post overall is going to help me a lot. The two parts I quoted were the only ones I had a little trouble grasping. Are there some examples you could provide for these two ideas Chief?
Example for the first one:
You get into sexual state (you start letting yourself feel horny) and talk about the weather. Because you're in sexual state, you will involuntarily (and naturally) subcommunicate countless subtle cues that her body and subconscious mind will pick up on, therefore making the conversation about weather feel very sexual.
Step 1. Show sexual interest. Step 2. Ignore her. Repeat.
2 steps forward, 1 step back:
Step 1. Sexually escalate through kino and vibe, such as letting yourself feel a stronger sexual state and holding her hand. Step 2. Cool down and get your hands off of her while lowering your sexual state a little. Step 3. Repeat step 1 but go a little further, and so on and so forth.
Cat string theory:
Basically the same damn thing as the above two, just more random.
The crux of all this shit is Sexual State, and that's a feeling you actually have to practice both controlling and letting it control you, so you'll understand all of this a lot more if you consistently go out and practice letting yourself feel horny in public settings. A lot of people say "nice guys finish last" and that the "jerks always get the girls," but the truth is that it's not a matter of nice vs. not nice. Nice guys just tend to repress their own natural desires more often than "jerks" do. Unfortunately for them, whether or not you are comfortable with expressing yourself sexually usually means the difference between friend zone and penis-in-vagina.
_________________The Forum Rules
- Please report any rule violations by clicking on the exclamation mark button in offending posts.