The Fearsome Friend Zone
Hey guys, it is time for another important lesson about fundamentals of pick up.
Today we are going to talk about the fearsome friend zone (FZ).
It seems that most of the guys on this forum read about it in some book, thought it was a real thing (like the boogie man) and now you are all running around like headless chickens being really scared of this thing.
The FZ is not real! It is not a threat! It is just like the boogie man, it will only mess with your game if you believe in it!
Haven't you guys ever seen a romantic chick flick? The girl always falls in love with her best friend in the end. Girls in real life and in movies too, always talk about that they want guy to be their best friend and their lover, that is the perfect combination. And you sit and whine that you can't get laid if the girl thinks you are her friend? Come on guys! Man up!
The only reason you think there is a FZ is because some girl(s) rejected you once by saying let's just be friends. This doesn't meant that you are in the friend zone, this means that she doesn't like you, she doesn't want to be your friend, she just doesn't want you to hit on her anymore!
Sorry if I am harsh but someone needs to spill the truth!
If you really do manage to become good friends with a hot girl, then you are in the best position ever! Because now, she trusts you, and that my friend is worth gold!
At that point, all you have to do is be awesome and charming around her, be kinda cuddly in appropriate moments, act a little jealous if she dates someone else. And one day invite her home for a movie, sit in your bed, watch on your lap top and share a bottle of red wine. This has never failed me once!
A friend of mine (who is a girl) recently got engaged to her best friend since 13 years. All of a sudden they just became more than friends, so yeah, this is not a miracle. This is what girls want!
Word of warning though, do not think that you can befriend girls and fuck them once and then leave them. This will seriously break their hearts and damage them for a long time, there might be years before they trust someone again!
Remember to always leave them better than you found them, if you don't want a relationship with her you have to be mature and make that clear in a polite way, basically tell her let's just be friends (oh the irony).
If you swing it right you might end up with a best friend/fuck buddy. Now that's an awesome scenario!
So stop being afraid of junk like the FZ, it is bullshit that people make up to hide the fact that their game sucks!
Improve your game not your excuses!
Thank you sir! I agree with this completely.
All of my best relationships have started out as friendships and become more later. The combination of "Best Friend" and "Friend with Benefits" has been the most rewarding type of relationship I've ever had in my life.
Its very easy to move from friends to friends with benefits if the two of you are actually friends. If you're someone she trusts and whose company she enjoys, it is insanely easy. If you're her friend and you've talked comfortably about sex before, she's probably fantasized about you already. She trusts you and enjoys your company, so the basis of attraction is there. (Also, If she's into anything weird or that might make her seem slutty--bondage, BDSM, really likes giving blow-jobs, electrosex, wants to try a threeway, wants to be spanked--whatever it is, she's more likely to tell you than a new boyfriend or date, because you're her friend and won't judge her based on that one thing. She'll trust you not to freak out when you hear her fetish.)
Note I said Actually
her friend: not the fool who she likes to have around because he's entertaining; not the guy she met in a bar, but decided she wasn't really attracted to after hanging out with him again; not the guy who she's shared a lab group with for 3 weeks who teases her and constantly tells her stories about how great he is at shit, and wants her to go out for coffee; not the harmless nerd who obviously has a crush on her, but she doesn't have the heart to tell off. These are the people she LJBFs, but they are not her friends.
"Lets Just Be Friends"="I don't actually like you--as a friend or otherwise--but I'm afraid of being mean."
And I'd like to echo Sly's warning not to befriend women so you can sleep with them once and not talk to them again. I've never had this happen, but for the love of god don't do it. First, Sly is right--you will break the poor girl's heart. If she's LSE already, you may give her trust issues, if not, you'll still leave her miserable and feeling betrayed. Besides, if you only want to fuck her once or twice, don't waste energy building up an entire friendship of lies. Just be honest from the beginning, manage expectations, and let her know what she can expect from you. Sly had a post on that a while back--he linked it in this thread. it was about morality and honesty in PU, and he said it better than I could.