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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 10:20 pm 
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To understand the title, you need to look at the brief history of the pickup community.

Neil Strauss's book "The Game" came out ten years ago. Around that same time we had some other early books like "Mystery Method," "Double Your Dating," and a lot of online resources picked up as well. This was the point where the internet exploded in terms of speed and access allowing people to share information of all kinds at a rate never before seen. The pickup community that originally had a few thousand people in it now has a few hundred thousand, in part due to the internet and in large part the success of some of these earlier books. But it came at a cost.

Pickup received mainstream media attention because of the success some of these books had. And considering pickup, and by that I mean cold approach pickup, at its core breaks half a dozen "rules" in western culture, most of the attention came with negative feedback. To be a PUA risked being characterized as a cold, heartless fiend who would lie to a girl in order to fuck her and never see her again. The fucking reality show didn't help either. The Pickup Artist tv show created a narrative of every guy who showed interest in being better with women as a poor, hapless loser who could not function in a conversation with a woman without learning routines. It put all us guys trying to get laid more often in a really bad light.

The free market swept in to adjust to this negative publicity, and RSD led the fucking charge. Pickup materials being sold started to distance itself from the intellectual approach in favor of being about more general self-help. It wasn't just about sex and relationships with women. Pickup, and now we are reaching the present day, is tied into personal finance, fitness, health, psychology, and life in general. The results are, in my opinion, not great. I do not say that because these other spheres of life aren't worth focusing on. Hell I still refuse to offer any advice to teenagers because I think you should have your shit together before worrying about getting laid. But let me break this down for you.

The problem with looking at pickup as a lifestyle is that you start looking at EVERYTHING in terms of how it affects your ability to get laid. Every piece of furniture in your home, every article of clothing you buy, your job, your family relationships, you run the risk of it all revolving around this one thing. And that is not good. That is giving up yourself to pussy. It is kind of funny that, in an effort to avoid seeming "nerdy" by abandoning routines, forums like this one end up having threads on meditation and, I'm not lying I have seen this, whether to buy hair extensions to that a guy can have a man-bun hairstyle.

Pickup is a hobby. If you worry about this stuff a lot and want to take the pressure off of yourself then treat it like you treat racing gokarts or playing poker. Relax. You don't have to ask "will this help me get laid" before every thing you say or do. There are skills that you can develop and practice over time in order to help you get laid more, but if you make it your lifestyle then you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to create a persona with a singular purpose.

Relax, take a breath, and keep your pimp hand strong. I have a second rant that I want to piece together coherently here soon.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 11:25 pm 
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So I guess the main thing is to enjoy whatever you do, since its a hobby... while some people on this forum seem to disagree even with that?

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 11:36 pm 
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For me, it's currently a hobby but at the start, it was a life and death thing I needed to do.

Like the gym, you hate it at 1st, but then you enjoy the progress and take it easy when you got some gainz

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2015 9:23 pm 
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Great insight DJ_Z. Yes. It's a hobby for me at first but now, it's a lifestyle. I'm naturally horny though.

As for giving advice to teenagers, I think you have a very good point. I'll follow your tack on this from here on.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:26 am 
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It's not a hobby dude.

It's a lifestyle.

Also, I did not read your post.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2015 11:21 pm 
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AND ANOTHER THING!

The reason this whole "lifestyle vs hobby" debate comes up is because the concept of outer game is really misunderstood in the community right now. The stereotype is that learning a routine means you use that routine in a robotic manner that comes off as very forced. No shit, that will happen if you read a sentence online that some dude said was a good opener for him, read it three times then went to a bar trying to use it and that's your first sarge ever. It's not the line that's bad though, it's that you aren't comfortable with women yet, and you haven't studied that line. You should absolutely be trying routines if you are brand new to this. Rehearse it, like you were in a play. Learn to say it over and over, practice your tone of voice, until it becomes natural. There's a false narrative out there that you can't incorporate a routine into your game because it comes off as fake. That's only true if you just bring a notecard with you and are trying to memorize it like a book report in the fourth grade.

If you were always good with women, sure this doesn't apply. If you weren't, though, then stop worrying about being a natural. You're not one, and that's okay. You can learn this stuff if you study and practice it, both at home and in the field.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2015 5:54 am 
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Quote:
It's not a hobby dude.

It's a lifestyle.
It's really who you become more than anything. Where the OP is correct is that many guys are going out four nights a week trying to learn shit and do stuff, but not becoming the man they want to be. It's who you are, who you become that attracts the women.

It's a lifestyle. Game is life and life is game.

There are two primary directives (said like a robot I know). All the way back to mystery method:
1. Survive
2. Replicate

Human behavior is naturally directed towards these aims- the people you align with, the work that you do, the purchases that you make.
Quote:
Also, I did not read your post.
Read the post it was good.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2015 9:10 pm 
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I wont' rant about that topic, but if you rely on animal psychology or evolutionary gambits for your game, you are seriously kneecapping yourself, dude. Humans have animal instincts, as well as higher reasoning. We are capable of emotion, reasoned thought, and imagination far beyond any animal. A great seduction occurs when you are clicking on every level. That's why we have stupid threads about needing to be ripped because of "oh it shows genetic health factors." Meanwhile guys without six packs are having sex all the time!

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2015 9:28 pm 
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I wont' rant about that topic, but if you rely on animal psychology or evolutionary gambits for your game, you are seriously kneecapping yourself, dude. Humans have animal instincts, as well as higher reasoning. We are capable of emotion, reasoned thought, and imagination far beyond any animal. A great seduction occurs when you are clicking on every level. That's why we have stupid threads about needing to be ripped because of "oh it shows genetic health factors." Meanwhile guys without six packs are having sex all the time!
**In before Charmer justifies his statement while agreeing with OP**

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2015 10:11 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
I wont' rant about that topic, but if you rely on animal psychology or evolutionary gambits for your game, you are seriously kneecapping yourself, dude. Humans have animal instincts, as well as higher reasoning. We are capable of emotion, reasoned thought, and imagination far beyond any animal. A great seduction occurs when you are clicking on every level. That's why we have stupid threads about needing to be ripped because of "oh it shows genetic health factors." Meanwhile guys without six packs are having sex all the time!
**In before Charmer justifies his statement while agreeing with OP**

pmsl

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2015 11:34 pm 
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I think it depends on what someone's definition of pickup is. If pickup for you is banging girls then i agree that shouldnt be the basis for how you live your life. If you have wings but no friends, if you do hobbies because it can get you girls, if you are proud of fucking 10's on the weekend but living in your mom's basement or unemployed, I can't agree to that being a good choice. If however pickup for you is about being an attractive happy man who has his shit in order, I can say that can be a good lifestyle. If getting girls is a side effect of how you live your life, good. If getting girls is your whole purpose in life, no.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:40 pm 
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Humans have animal instincts, as well as higher reasoning. We are capable of emotion, reasoned thought, and imagination far beyond any animal. A great seduction occurs when you are clicking on every level.
The belief that we are superior than all other animals permeates all throughout society, most commonly through religious organizations. It's an interesting thought that we are capable of more in the mating area because we are more intelligent, but largely the use of our minds hinders us more than helps us in regards to mating.

Animals don't think and ponder if they are good enough for other animals. They just mate. It is in their nature, just as it is in human's nature. Thus another reason why guys without six packs are getting some. If there was a guy and a girl stranded on an island, the two would eventually mate.

People often like to believe they are just more than animals so they can feel important or so that they can have meaning, but more than anything else in life society's perceptions and limiting our nature can be the biggest hindrances in men's success with women.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:05 pm 
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Problem is that most people start this "hobby" from a wounded place. So they become every interaction becomes something that defines who you are.

Eventually as people progress through this journey hopefully those wounds close. You hopefully come back to a healthier place in terms of your self esteem. And meeting, dating and attracting women should just become part of a full life of someone that has allot going for themselves.

However that doesn't always happen as those who are not introspective don't ever reflect on the real void they're trying to fill up.


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