jealousy


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 Post subject: jealousy
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:40 am 
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Historically I've been ok about some things that other guys would have problems with and I've had problems with situations that some guys are ok with..

when it comes to a either a girl you are starting to see or a girlfriend, when is it ok to show a girl you're unhappy with something (jealousy at heat) and when to hide it?

I can imagine some guys saying 'be cool and never be jealous' but I would imagine its better to show 'dis-satisfaction' with a girl who mis-behaves than saying nothing at all..

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:44 am 
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Jealousy is ugly, no ifs ands or buts.

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 8:19 am 
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More often than not when a guy accuses the girl of bad behavior, it's actually normal behavior that happens to have triggered some insecure nerve.

Jealousy is never valid.

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:24 pm 
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I dont know if that satisfyes my desire to know the answer to the question. Ive felt what i could have sworn was rock solid jelousy. The best explanation for it ive heard of is that it happens becuse you count someone elses blessing more then yours. I started to focus differently and it did do some helping. What if your love shows someone attention the wrong way. Flirting with a sexual undertone right in front of ya. Is that a blessing for me, or even for our commitment? Weather its becuse you are afraid of losing her or not, isnt that pretty valid jeousy? What else would you call it?

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:40 pm 
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You'd have to be more specific and give examples. For e.g. You could be talking about being "jealous" that your gf is sleeping over at her exs place. That's more boundaries. Or you could be talking about you're "jealous" your gf talks more to her friend than you. That's more insecurities


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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:18 pm 
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Misbehaving is one thing..


But exactly are you getting jealous about? Her misbehaving? Give examples..

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:29 pm 
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Anecdotally, I find that keeping my expectations of people in check helps me cope with situations better. Next time you're jealous of your lady, you might want to pay attention to what triggers this because I suspect similar situations make you feel this way. You may be surprised to see what is habitual, something to learn from and change over time. That's the idea anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:49 am 
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well let's say your girlfriend is texting a lot with a guy from work. This hasn't happened to me, but let's work on the basis it has.
It went from nothing, but they are texting quite a lot and she isn't keen on letting you see the messages.

Are you saying that to act on this and take issue would just be 'acting jealous' or is this a valid reason to turn round to her and make a point that you think it's inappropriate etc..

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:06 am 
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Yes, it would just be acting jealous.

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 1:37 pm 
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ok, let me take this one step further...

You then hear she slept overnight at this guy's place as the office went out late and she couldn't get home.
Is that an issue?

This has not happened to me before but the point I am trying to make in short, is 'where' do you draw the line at what is acceptable and not acceptable and how do you approach it?

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:07 pm 
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Jealousy is never the right way to go. If she cheats, break up. The jealousy just gives her an emotional out to blame you for whatever may or may not happen. Oh, and get some strange ass.

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:56 pm 
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cunning_stunt wrote:
ok, let me take this one step further...

You then hear she slept overnight at this guy's place as the office went out late and she couldn't get home.
Is that an issue?

This has not happened to me before but the point I am trying to make in short, is 'where' do you draw the line at what is acceptable and not acceptable and how do you approach it?


Why are all of your questions non examples from your life? Why don't you talk about your life instead of hypothetical shit that will probably never happen.

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:22 am 
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Well Eddie, I probably did have a couple Jealousy situations stemming back of the years, but I can't remember the situations that well, however it seems you are also missing the point.
It's not about my situation now, i'm asking in general where you would draw the line with a girl/how to handle it so I know for future relationships if and when the situation occurs.

Your question about 'why I am talking about hypothetical shit' is about as helpful as saying 'why wear a seatbelt in a car' or 'why have a fire extinguisher in the building'. If you don't understand the metaphor, then ask one of the other guys here.

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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:46 am 
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OP, for the 2 examples, my point of view is if you dont trust someone dont be with them.


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 Post subject: Re: jealousy
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:32 pm 
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cunning_stunt wrote:
Well Eddie, I probably did have a couple Jealousy situations stemming back of the years, but I can't remember the situations that well, however it seems you are also missing the point.
It's not about my situation now, i'm asking in general where you would draw the line with a girl/how to handle it so I know for future relationships if and when the situation occurs.

Your question about 'why I am talking about hypothetical shit' is about as helpful as saying 'why wear a seatbelt in a car' or 'why have a fire extinguisher in the building'. If you don't understand the metaphor, then ask one of the other guys here.


Your metaphor is not good. You have a seat belt because it is statistically shown to help you survive an accident. You are asking about jealousy, which is virtually the opposite of such a fail safe.

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