Can you please give me your honest opinion ?



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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:54 pm 
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So i went to this single mingle party. I ended up with no numbers or women. I want your honest input. Honesty doesnt mean that its always my fault, it can also mean its her fault.


Heres what happened .....

FIRST INSTANCE:

A couple of ladies entered the place, i walked up to them very confidently and good tontality( loud enough to be heard like an alpha male). I said hello n cracked some jokes, they said i have the best opener they ever received asked me if it works for me, i said always. They said im funny, i said and handsome. Then said they just got here n want to discover the place. (It really seemed genuine and honest) so they left. Just to see them with a couple of guys talking for an hour then left the place.

Not much about discovering, isnt it? Whats going on ?

Note: one of the ladies actually works for Tinder and shes here looking for a guy LOL


Second instant
Blonde with big boobs was sitting with her three gfs. I walked up with very great opener. She was very receptive and talked to me for a bit and laugh. She looked very guinine in her intertest. We talked about how we have thibgs in common. I really celt like there was chemistry. Then all of a sudden, she turns around n talks to her gf. I paused for a bit and said ill come back to you, she said fine. I waited for a while , i saw her with a guy, i went up n joined the conversation. The guy asked her if she wants drink she said no , then i got bored n left. She spent the whole evening with her gfs. Desposite the fact its an event for singles.

What could i have done differently ?


Third instance
I talked to a cute blonde for a bit . She went to the bathroom but her friend was around. I talked to her friend then when she mentioned she went to a private school, i said kids there get spoiled by their teachers( i wanted to tease her bc this how to spark attraction) she didnt seem to like it n said that was closed minded. So they left with an excuse that they want drinks.

Fourth instance
I went up to a couple of ladies with my strong opener and was told that id get attention because of my energy n co fidence. I asked why cant we talk ? Then said they work for the event host so they r busy. I insisted to talk to one of them by saying just bc you work here doesnt mean we cant be potentionals, she said she will come back n find me. So the impression that they were busy. Later on i see her socializing with three ladies. So obviously she wasnt that busy.
Whats going on ?

How i spent the night:
I spent the night mingling around from ladies to ladies. Id say 50% were resoptitive and 50% werent by showing poor body language such turning around n talk to her friend. As for the other 50 %, i closed the conversation by saying ill be back. This is because i ran outta things to say. Seems to me theres nothing after my strong opening.


My mentality:
To be honest, i was in the mood of having a laugh. For example, id say things like " how you doing" " i wasnt doing good untill now" or " no need to look further bc your prince charming is right here"
I guess what im trying to say is that i put having a laugh as my primrary goal rather than looking for dates.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:08 am 
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Between this and a previous post of yours, I'm guessing women don't find you believable. From what you write, you seem like you may be too gamey.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:43 am 
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Depends on what you were wanting out of the night. If all you were wanting is to work on openers and have fun talking to girls, then I'd say you had a successful night. Most guys I see posting on here for help are light years away from even attempting what you did.

If you've mastered pickup and you're in search mode for girls that meet your standard and turned down all these girls then not much you can do there. I get the feeling that wasn't the case though.

I'm a believer of start with the end in mind. What was your goal going in? Hookup? Just have fun? Dating material? Threesome? Go back and look at your approaches and night in general and see if your actions reflected your goal.

It seems your initial opening works well but things don't go well after that. Not sure which methods you're using but go back and review the basics. Where do you put your value compared to the girls you opened? Where do you think they ranked you in value? Did you assess for IoIs? Did you kino and how? Did you escalate? You opened sets but did you isolate? What did you do that demostrated you're fun and don't care about rejection? Pushing-pulling? Were you sexual?

It seems from what youve posted you don't have any fear of opening and that is a huge step to success. But it's only the first step. Work on what follows. Tighten up on handling sets. I bet from what you've said that you would do better 1 on 1 so work on isolating and escalating. That's a huge component of PUA in many settings and it's tricky to execute solo (wings certainly help). Knowing when to pull the trigger on isolating/escalating and when to cut out leaving the set wanting more of your interaction (increasing your value and allowing you to come back and escalate later) takes experience.

I think you've done well so far though and are on the right track. Keep working on it and keep the positive attitude.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:51 am 
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Seems to me like you start on a highnote but then plummet down quite quickly.

Self amusement is a good goal, but it needs to be engaging to the other person as well. Try teasing more.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:38 am 
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JackZero wrote:
Between this and a previous post of yours, I'm guessing women don't find you believable. From what you write, you seem like you may be too gamey.



Interesting. What do you mean by too gamey?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:47 am 
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FaithfulRaider wrote:
Depends on what you were wanting out of the night. If all you were wanting is to work on openers and have fun talking to girls, then I'd say you had a successful night. Most guys I see posting on here for help are light years away from even attempting what you did.

If you've mastered pickup and you're in search mode for girls that meet your standard and turned down all these girls then not much you can do there. I get the feeling that wasn't the case though.

I'm a believer of start with the end in mind. What was your goal going in? Hookup? Just have fun? Dating material? Threesome? Go back and look at your approaches and night in general and see if your actions reflected your goal.

It seems your initial opening works well but things don't go well after that. Not sure which methods you're using but go back and review the basics. Where do you put your value compared to the girls you opened? Where do you think they ranked you in value? Did you assess for IoIs? Did you kino and how? Did you escalate? You opened sets but did you isolate? What did you do that demostrated you're fun and don't care about rejection? Pushing-pulling? Were you sexual?

It seems from what youve posted you don't have any fear of opening and that is a huge step to success. But it's only the first step. Work on what follows. Tighten up on handling sets. I bet from what you've said that you would do better 1 on 1 so work on isolating and escalating. That's a huge component of PUA in many settings and it's tricky to execute solo (wings certainly help). Knowing when to pull the trigger on isolating/escalating and when to cut out leaving the set wanting more of your interaction (increasing your value and allowing you to come back and escalate later) takes experience.

I think you've done well so far though and are on the right track. Keep working on it and keep the positive attitude.



Interesting.

here is what I dont understand. Why the two women who just entered and gave me a compliment on my opener left to find other guys? Did I come out as a Nice Guy type who girls give him compliments yet dont date?

You are right about 1-on-1 talk, but how can i isolate and escalate if she didnt continue talking to begin with? What do you think of the Blonde woman who turned to her girlfriend in the middle of talking when she was enjoying our talk?

My end goal is to get a isolate and escalate, then get a solid number and get a gf. But deep down, I knew it wouldnt happen because I dont have much experience after the opening.

You are right. i am making progress. but i dont understand why some say you can get instant results while taking me months to make some slow progress?

As for the opening, do you think I come too strong and too on high end ?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:48 am 
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R.C wrote:
Seems to me like you start on a highnote but then plummet down quite quickly.

Self amusement is a good goal, but it needs to be engaging to the other person as well. Try teasing more.

,

But I thought you are supposed to slow down after gaming? It shouldnt be ALL game, small talk should be there as well, right ?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:09 am 
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charlespmyers wrote:
JackZero wrote:
Between this and a previous post of yours, I'm guessing women don't find you believable. From what you write, you seem like you may be too gamey.



Interesting. What do you mean by too gamey?

This is the comment that specifically made me think that.
charlespmyers wrote:
I said hello n cracked some jokes, they said i have the best opener they ever received asked me if it works for me, i said always.
They spotted the fact that you were trying to pick them up and it didn't come off as genuine to them.


Last edited by JackZero on Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:32 am 
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charlespmyers wrote:
But I thought you are supposed to slow down after gaming? It shouldnt be ALL game, small talk should be there as well, right ?


Think of it like this. It's always better to underpromise and overdeliver than to overpromise and underdeliver.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 4:23 pm 
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Sometimes it's a matter of tailoring your approaches and modifying your goal based on the social situation. Picking up girls at a singles mingle is entirely different than at a hopping club or at the library or on social media. I'm a believer in trying to see yourself through the eyes of the women you're trying to pick up. Try to understand their goals, motivations, and anticipate their resistance so you can know how to tailor your game to be more effective.

Although it's obvious you aren't going to be successful in every case, you can increase your odds.

Let's take a look at the social situation. It's a singles mingle where girls are in sets. It's not a crazy party or club... Girls aren't going to be getting drunk, dancing in cages and grinding on strangers. There's an expected level of decorum socially. So the chance of you isolating a girl from her group in some dark corner and making out and her friends not miss her is very low.

Also take a moment and imagine what is motivating these women. They aren't likely looking to party, get crazy, and have a wild night. I'm guessing these women are all looking to find that well-off handsome nice guy that is in all their romance novels, and the goal is to get him before their friends and all the other girls get him. If he's not there or he's already taken, most will go to "power down" mode.... Unless something else happens.

That's where we come in. We aren't what they came to that place for. But it's our "job" to swoop in, be charming, well groomed, fun, entertaining, aloof, and trigger something sexual inside them, all the while giving them something to chase. We offer them that irresistible fantasy. That's why things like value, push pull, cat string theory, negs, and time constraints work.

Let's break down your above encounters.

1) you opened well then the girls wanted to break off and check out the scene. Why do you think that was? If Brad Pitt was the one they met as they entered, would they have broke off like they did with you? Why not? Because of VALUE. Brad Pitt would be an instant 10 value and every girl knows it. They will spend the rest of the night trying to increase their value to him. They left you to assess the value of the rest of the guys there. Unless you had built in value, your best line isn't going to keep these girls from exploring and assessing the value of every other guy there. That's what a single mingle is for most women - find the highest value guy then compare their own value to his and respond according to their own goals. If her goal is a new BF and his value is higher than hers and he shows interest in her and "speaks the language" there's a good chance things will progress. If she doesn't find anyone with a value higher than hers, chances are she's just gonna chat with her friends and gossip and complain about the lack of cute guys at the mixer! If there is a higher value guy who seems interested in another girl, that's where the fun happens! Anyway, that's what happened here. They probably have you a decent initial value but checked out the scene, kept an eye on you, didn't see you raise your value and found others they felt had higher value. If during that time you increased your social value I suspect one of them would have been receptive at a reopen.

2) Perfect example of value! Blonde with nice tits... Take a moment to imagine how many times she's been hit on (weak or otherwise). Say it's as low as once a day (probably much higher) but even at that, that's hundreds of times a year and many thousands over her lifetime. Women like this have high value in their mind. You standing there talking to her simply entertained her, increased her value to all the girls at the table, then she cut you off when she knew you weren't going to outvalue her. In that moment when she ignored you, what do you think she would say her value was versus yours? She was in it for the ego boost and she got it! Everything from this encounter was stacked against you. High value target surrounded by her adoring lower value friends. Were they sitting at a table and you standing there talking? I couldn't tell but that's a terrible situation to open in. You are an outsider, easily pushed out which seems like what happened. You want to become the center of attention opening sets, not simply standing on the sidelines. Only chance here with that blonde would have been to take control of the set from her, increase your value while decreasing hers, then keep her trying to gain it back while entertaining the set and ignoring her. Even then it's tough in this situation. That's why identifying your surroundings and assessing the social situation can help. May have been better to use this set to demonstrate value to other sets watching you by swinging by, opening the set, get them laughing and having fun, then bail out with them wanting more. Other girls will see that and think "that guy just left all those girls just when he had them where he wanted them - who does that?" A PUA does, that's who! And they're going to want you to get them laughing and having fun too.

3) You hit on a girl, she leaves then you hit on her friend? Girls can pick up on this really easy. Usually shows you're just hitting on whoever is in range and shows desperation. Now if she IOIs you when her friend leaves, that's another story. But more than likely she saw you as just jumping from girl to girl trying to get lucky... Which isn't too far off the truth now, is it? Better off in a set either picking one and sticking to her or don't pick any and see who gives IOIs first. Remember, what would a high value guy do once he's "chosen" his interest? Since he knows he is high value, he's going to get the one he picked and not "lower" himself with anyone else - at least that's what you need to portray for now... Until another girl steps up and tries to increase her value to you!

4) this one is simple. Again, value. By this time you've been there all night and these workers surely have seen you striking out all night, lowering your value. When you finally got around to them what do you think they thought of you? Now again imagine Brad Pitt has been hanging out with the hottest girl all night, stepped away from her and walked over to this girl who was working and said "I've been waiting all night for a chance to introduce myself to you".... How would have she reacted? Now what if it wasn't Brad Pitt but instead it was the guy with the highest value of the night. It would be the same! This is because women in these social gatherings are constantly observing and adjusting values of the guys. That natural alpha male who's spent all night as the center of attention and increasing his value... When he walks over to that hot 10 he's ignored all night and says he's taking her home... Yeah that happens... A lot!

TLDR recap:
1) Assess the situation and tailor your approaches accordingly.

2) Be mindful of your value always. Learn and execute ways to increase your value in every situation.

3) Set a goal and approach based on that goal.

4) Increase your skills until this becomes second nature.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:11 pm 
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FaithfulRaider wrote:
Sometimes it's a matter of tailoring your approaches and modifying your goal based on the social situation. Picking up girls at a singles mingle is entirely different than at a hopping club or at the library or on social media. I'm a believer in trying to see yourself through the eyes of the women you're trying to pick up. Try to understand their goals, motivations, and anticipate their resistance so you can know how to tailor your game to be more effective.

Although it's obvious you aren't going to be successful in every case, you can increase your odds.

Let's take a look at the social situation. It's a singles mingle where girls are in sets. It's not a crazy party or club... Girls aren't going to be getting drunk, dancing in cages and grinding on strangers. There's an expected level of decorum socially. So the chance of you isolating a girl from her group in some dark corner and making out and her friends not miss her is very low.

Also take a moment and imagine what is motivating these women. They aren't likely looking to party, get crazy, and have a wild night. I'm guessing these women are all looking to find that well-off handsome nice guy that is in all their romance novels, and the goal is to get him before their friends and all the other girls get him. If he's not there or he's already taken, most will go to "power down" mode.... Unless something else happens.

That's where we come in. We aren't what they came to that place for. But it's our "job" to swoop in, be charming, well groomed, fun, entertaining, aloof, and trigger something sexual inside them, all the while giving them something to chase. We offer them that irresistible fantasy. That's why things like value, push pull, cat string theory, negs, and time constraints work.

Let's break down your above encounters.

1) you opened well then the girls wanted to break off and check out the scene. Why do you think that was? If Brad Pitt was the one they met as they entered, would they have broke off like they did with you? Why not? Because of VALUE. Brad Pitt would be an instant 10 value and every girl knows it. They will spend the rest of the night trying to increase their value to him. They left you to assess the value of the rest of the guys there. Unless you had built in value, your best line isn't going to keep these girls from exploring and assessing the value of every other guy there. That's what a single mingle is for most women - find the highest value guy then compare their own value to his and respond according to their own goals. If her goal is a new BF and his value is higher than hers and he shows interest in her and "speaks the language" there's a good chance things will progress. If she doesn't find anyone with a value higher than hers, chances are she's just gonna chat with her friends and gossip and complain about the lack of cute guys at the mixer! If there is a higher value guy who seems interested in another girl, that's where the fun happens! Anyway, that's what happened here. They probably have you a decent initial value but checked out the scene, kept an eye on you, didn't see you raise your value and found others they felt had higher value. If during that time you increased your social value I suspect one of them would have been receptive at a reopen.

2) Perfect example of value! Blonde with nice tits... Take a moment to imagine how many times she's been hit on (weak or otherwise). Say it's as low as once a day (probably much higher) but even at that, that's hundreds of times a year and many thousands over her lifetime. Women like this have high value in their mind. You standing there talking to her simply entertained her, increased her value to all the girls at the table, then she cut you off when she knew you weren't going to outvalue her. In that moment when she ignored you, what do you think she would say her value was versus yours? She was in it for the ego boost and she got it! Everything from this encounter was stacked against you. High value target surrounded by her adoring lower value friends. Were they sitting at a table and you standing there talking? I couldn't tell but that's a terrible situation to open in. You are an outsider, easily pushed out which seems like what happened. You want to become the center of attention opening sets, not simply standing on the sidelines. Only chance here with that blonde would have been to take control of the set from her, increase your value while decreasing hers, then keep her trying to gain it back while entertaining the set and ignoring her. Even then it's tough in this situation. That's why identifying your surroundings and assessing the social situation can help. May have been better to use this set to demonstrate value to other sets watching you by swinging by, opening the set, get them laughing and having fun, then bail out with them wanting more. Other girls will see that and think "that guy just left all those girls just when he had them where he wanted them - who does that?" A PUA does, that's who! And they're going to want you to get them laughing and having fun too.

3) You hit on a girl, she leaves then you hit on her friend? Girls can pick up on this really easy. Usually shows you're just hitting on whoever is in range and shows desperation. Now if she IOIs you when her friend leaves, that's another story. But more than likely she saw you as just jumping from girl to girl trying to get lucky... Which isn't too far off the truth now, is it? Better off in a set either picking one and sticking to her or don't pick any and see who gives IOIs first. Remember, what would a high value guy do once he's "chosen" his interest? Since he knows he is high value, he's going to get the one he picked and not "lower" himself with anyone else - at least that's what you need to portray for now... Until another girl steps up and tries to increase her value to you!

4) this one is simple. Again, value. By this time you've been there all night and these workers surely have seen you striking out all night, lowering your value. When you finally got around to them what do you think they thought of you? Now again imagine Brad Pitt has been hanging out with the hottest girl all night, stepped away from her and walked over to this girl who was working and said "I've been waiting all night for a chance to introduce myself to you".... How would have she reacted? Now what if it wasn't Brad Pitt but instead it was the guy with the highest value of the night. It would be the same! This is because women in these social gatherings are constantly observing and adjusting values of the guys. That natural alpha male who's spent all night as the center of attention and increasing his value... When he walks over to that hot 10 he's ignored all night and says he's taking her home... Yeah that happens... A lot!

TLDR recap:
1) Assess the situation and tailor your approaches accordingly.

2) Be mindful of your value always. Learn and execute ways to increase your value in every situation.

3) Set a goal and approach based on that goal.

4) Increase your skills until this becomes second nature.





Ok, I think we have some advice here.

1- I agree a lot with your analysis on the first two women who entered. I didnt think I did anything wrong with my opening. Its just they wanted to explore the place. Now the question is, how on earth for me to increase my value ?

2- blonde with big tites, to get this straight, you think i should have advertised myself as a high value guy BEFORE approaching her ? So they would be the girl whom I was ignoring her all the time.


3- Chicken and Egg problem: Why would any girl give me IOI if she didnt think I was high value ? And how could that happen with me just standing there and being the guy who has his" pick" and only chooses the one he likes? I thought demonstrating social power by "hitting on" every girl increases my value?



Overall, very good advice. Whats your story with Pick-up ?


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:21 am 
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Da wrote:
Quote:
I guess what im trying to say is that i put having a laugh as my primrary goal rather than looking for dates.


Was the goal to get a date back to your place or to make a few woman laugh?

It's not either or, but think of "humor" as a tool as a means to an end, not an outcome.

People take the idea of self-amusement way too far.

Bring home the bacon, they say. If you wanted a few laughs, you got it. Otherwise, you know the answer to your own questions it seems. That's a great start. Some figure it out, some never will, it seems.

Happy Valentine's Day!



Honestly, I said I want a few girls back to my place, but sub-consciously I didnt think it would happen so I stuck to a few laughs.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:18 pm 
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charlespmyers wrote:
Honestly, I said I want a few girls back to my place, but sub-consciously I didnt think it would happen so I stuck to a few laughs.


Your lack of confidence and self-esteem is going to show through like a sharpie through toilet paper.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 6:18 pm 
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Just to clarify in the future this area isn't really for this is what happened during my night tell me what you think.

The lounge is more about developing new theories or taking on new thought processes on different theories.

Please read the forum rules

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