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 Post subject: Problems with the girl
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 5:08 pm 
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So I have been with this girl for a few months now. Things are amazing when we are together, but kinda luke warm when we aren't. Text game isn't something she cares for. She doesn't use her phone much.

Anyways, last night she told me she thinks we should just be friends because in a year she is graduating college and wants to move away from the state we currently live in. While she has claimed she loves me and such she says that it would be unfair to both of us to continue when it has to end eventually. I have explained to her that while I have many years of school ahead of me, I am a med student, there is no reason things can't work. I am not attached to this particular state. No family here, transferring schools is completely easy, I have the grades and funds to go anywhere, and I really wouldn't mind doing it for this girl. This didn't persuade her as she feels it is just unfair to me and that she feels that she needs to make a life for herself before she makes one with someone else.

So, any advice guys? Any chance to convince her to follow logic instead of CFE (Crazy female emotions)? Or should I just hang up the towel and move on? I really like this girl, but if it has to go it has to go. I'd really like to try and figure it out if I could though.


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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 6:18 pm 
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Quote:
So I have been with this girl for a few months now. Things are amazing when we are together, but kinda luke warm when we aren't. Text game isn't something she cares for. She doesn't use her phone much.

Anyways, last night she told me she thinks we should just be friends because in a year she is graduating college and wants to move away from the state we currently live in. While she has claimed she loves me and such she says that it would be unfair to both of us to continue when it has to end eventually. I have explained to her that while I have many years of school ahead of me, I am a med student, there is no reason things can't work. I am not attached to this particular state. No family here, transferring schools is completely easy, I have the grades and funds to go anywhere, and I really wouldn't mind doing it for this girl. This didn't persuade her as she feels it is just unfair to me and that she feels that she needs to make a life for herself before she makes one with someone else.

So, any advice guys? Any chance to convince her to follow logic instead of CFE (Crazy female emotions)? Or should I just hang up the towel and move on? I really like this girl, but if it has to go it has to go. I'd really like to try and figure it out if I could though.
I could be way off base here but it seems like she is using the whole moving in a year thing to just dump ya now. Maybe she wants to be single, maybe she likes someone else, who knows with some women... If you guys were really solid I'd think she do everything she could for the relationship. I'd take it for what it is, not waste anymore time with someone who doesn't want to be with me, and graciously move on.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 6:59 pm 
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Jeez Louise, trying to logically convince a woman to stay with you L O L , especially after she said all the stuff she did. thats a no no my friend.

bro listen, this girl "loves you" as a friend, a person maybe.

but shes not talking about romantic love here.

if she actually loved you in terms of romanticism, her emotional thoughts would take over her logical thoughts, and any question of where you would end up in a year, 5 years, tomorrow, would not matter.

you either did something wrong during the time you "dated" her, or the timing is simply off in both of your lives and its no fault of your own.

but judging by your post, id assume its the former


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 7:24 pm 
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That's pretty much what I figured guys. I just thought I'd ask. I did get a little more clarity as her best friends is also a life long friend of mine. That friend explained the situation from the insiders perspective. She really did feel as though it was unfair to continue a relationship that is bound to end and that it would be unfair to ask a med student to switch schools. Apparently she thinks this is what is best for me. While I feel otherwise it really is impossible to change a girl's mind once she has made it up. Oh well, maybe in another life. Thanks anyways guys. Back to the sarge I guess!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 1:59 am 
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Location: Denver
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Quote:
That's pretty much what I figured guys. I just thought I'd ask. I did get a little more clarity as her best friends is also a life long friend of mine. That friend explained the situation from the insiders perspective. She really did feel as though it was unfair to continue a relationship that is bound to end and that it would be unfair to ask a med student to switch schools. Apparently she thinks this is what is best for me. While I feel otherwise it really is impossible to change a girl's mind once she has made it up. Oh well, maybe in another life. Thanks anyways guys. Back to the sarge I guess!
You have a long life ahead. You never know where you two may end up :)
Quote:
Back to the sarge I guess!
I like that attitude. You appear to be more mature than the average poster here.
Well I have been burned many times and had many one-itises. I'm not gonna let this one be one of those. lol. While she is beautiful, she's actually moving to Cali for a legitimate modeling job, and she has a good heart I wont let myself get inside my own head and convince myself that I have to sit around all depressed. Can I do better? Possibly. Prettier? Unlikely. I have seen many beautiful women in my life, including celebrities in person, and she is among the prettiest. There is no way to convince her to change her mind though. Thus I move forward. It is all you can do. All plans and schemes to get your exes back rarely work, and in this situation they are completely worthless. So I'm gonna do like any good PUA would do and get back out there, find some HBs, and find my next ex girl friend. lol


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:01 am 
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Youll get her chasing you if you tell her "yea youre right, lets just be friends" and go do your own thing


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 2:59 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2011 12:03 am
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Location: Denver
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Youll get her chasing you if you tell her "yea youre right, lets just be friends" and go do your own thing
Well we talked just a bit ago, I told her basically what you said. I told her that while I protested a bit at first she is probably right. Then I suggested giving each other a bit of space for a bit then just being friends. Not that I really have any intentions of being her friend. I have plenty of cool friends already, but she will be a nice pretty face for my facebook page at least. lol. I'm not really worried about getting her back at this point. If it was salvageable then I would have, but as with most things in PUA there are no magic words to make everything work out all fine.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 5:39 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 3:59 pm
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my current girlfriend gave me the LJBF talk about three times before i got with her, the first two times i acted pretty much like an AFC which clearly got me nowhere, the last time she said it i didn't even reply, got myself a new girl and i couldn't believe how quickly her attitude changed, it was piss easy to pull her after that and she's now the perfect girlfriend, if she goes back to how she was i'll just blow her out and do the same thing again.

moral of the story is if a girl says LJBF then just shrug your shoulders and go get another girl, if she's into you then she'll come running back


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 6:02 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2011 12:03 am
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Location: Denver
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I was going to put this in my initial post, but got a phone call. I've known a few guys in similar situations with similar types of girlfriends. They tend to glorify the girl and compare all future girls/relationships to that girl/relationship. Just remember that a "few months" isn't a very long time and isn't a good indication of what a year, two year, or twenty year relationship would look like.

Also, I go to D.C. multiple times a year for work. It has to have some of the prettiest (and they are smart) girl of any large city in the USA. I assume its a function of all the good colleges in the area. At any rate, I'm sure you can find a new girl.

Good luck :)
I fully agree with everything you have had to say. Especially about the quality of women in DC! I'm actually planning on hitting the local college bar and finding myself a new lady friend or two this weekend. The newest ex was a pretty little blonde, so I'm thinking maybe I'll pick myself up some brunettes!

As for comparing past relationships I fully understand what you are saying. I have had my number of relationships in the past. The longest was actually the reason I got into PUA. So I have learned over the years when one fails you can only move on with a fresh start.


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