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HardlyThere
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 10
Reputation: 10.2  
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 Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 7:35 pm Post subject: Problems |
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If this is the wrong section it can be moved, but since I'm a newbie I assumed it should go here. Also all comments harsh or whatever are completely welcome
I haven't opened any sets yet ever because I cannot stop myself from thinking about what could happen. I have tried using the three second rule but I pussy out every time. If I even think about approaching, my mind starts to race about what could go wrong. For instance:
Today at school was "Mix it up day" and everyone was given a name tag to wear around all day to get to know people better. I tried to open the set I linked to above but failed terribly. I was walking next to her in the hall after gym and she looked at my name tag and we made eye contact for which seemed like forever and looked like she was just dying for me to say something but I couldn't. I completely froze and it was just terrible. I didn't smile at her or say anything. I just walked along feeling dumb because I knew I should have said something but I didn't.  I noticed what REALLY killed me was when I looked around at the people who were around me and wondered what they would think if I just randomly started talking to her and whatnot or if what I was gonna say seemed weird to them, which is stupid but at the time I couldn't help it. I think I'll probably have that problem in the future too, but I don't know how to deal with it 
Next I have this female friend who is always challenging me about how there is no way any of this pickup stuff would ever work. When me and my semi-wing (we haven't done any opening or anything yet) talk about something or other and she overhears she always says something like "oh ya that will never work" or "you guys are all talk none of that will ever work" We never directly converse with her about it but when she over hears something about it she has to say something. Is there anyway to get her to leave us alone or something i can say to get her to stop being such a know-it-all?
Lastly, the wingman. The person I am considering now is great to talk to about all this stuff, we can throw out ideas about stuff fine. Even though I can't say I have done any approaches yet, I don't know if when/if i start opening if he will be able to help open and other stuff, I have known him for a good five years and honestly just can't see him doing it. Should I just wait and see if things workout or should I consider finding someone new?
Thanks to anyone who responds and/or helps
-HT |
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Valence
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 418
Location: Austin Texas
Reputation: 62.3
votes: 1
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| Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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AA.... The main killer.
You and your wing need to get over it. The only way is to practice. Sounds real easy right. It is until you get to it, your stomach knots up and you start to get really scared.
The reason is that you are placing to much expectation on what is going to happen. You wonder if you are going to have anything to say or you are going to completely freeze up.
Start simple.
Walk up to a girl, tell them your name and ask them for theirs. Once you have it, walk off. No expectations to worry about failing at. Do not even engage in a conversation if they want to. All you want is their name.
Do this multiple times (I had a friend do it 20 times). After the number chosen, decide to carry the conversation a little further. Consider it an opened of sorts. You are not looking on closing anything yet. Just start a conversation. Do not try to run game.
Do this enough times (for both of you) and you will not have problems opening a set.
I would suggest going to a street during a busy day and doing this. Somewhere there is a lot of pedestrian traffic.
As far as the girl is concerned, when you actual become proficient at all of it, it will shut her up without you saying anything. |
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L.A. Tripp
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| Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:04 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, those people standing around you, that you're wondering if they would think you're stupid for saying something to a girl . . . are probably wishing THEY could actually talk to her. If you actually speak to her, they would probably be ENVIOUS of YOU because you actually talked to her.
For the girl, she's calling what she sees at the moment. She hasn't seen any of this work because you guys aren't showing that it DOES work. Hell, it even works on her, and she doesn't know it. If she has a b/f, or dates, it's working on her and she doesn't even know it.
And, for your wing, give him a shot. You never know if he will work out or not until you try. Hell, you have to even get YOURSELF out there first, before you can judge someone else on whether or not they can do it. |
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xvtboix
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 55
Reputation: 27.7
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| Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 6:22 am Post subject: |
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| Valence wrote: |
Start simple.
Walk up to a girl, tell them your name and ask them for theirs. Once you have it, walk off. No expectations to worry about failing at. Do not even engage in a conversation if they want to. All you want is their name.
Do this multiple times (I had a friend do it 20 times). After the number chosen, decide to carry the conversation a little further. Consider it an opened of sorts. You are not looking on closing anything yet. Just start a conversation. Do not try to run game.
Do this enough times (for both of you) and you will not have problems opening a set.
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Wouldn't the girl think that you're awkward if you were to come up to her and tell her your name and ask her for her name and leave? |
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L.A. Tripp
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| Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:41 am Post subject: |
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| Yeah, most likely, but the AFC isn't supposed to worry about that at this stage. |
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The Doctor
Moderator
Dedicated Member
Joined: 14 Sep 2007
Posts: 733
Location: Arizona
Reputation: 115
votes: 9
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| Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:54 am Post subject: |
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| L.A. Tripp wrote: | | Yeah, most likely, but the AFC isn't supposed to worry about that at this stage. |
Exactly... it's taking baby steps... think of it as a Name-Close.
After you get used to approaching you can start doing it in ways that build attraction... but all the attraction skills in the world won't be worth a damn thing if you never approach. |
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