HB 10 Flakefest - How to Respond?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:26 pm 
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Madrabaj wrote:
Update:

I froze her out for a good month. In the meantime she has been liking my shit on Facebook, and invited me to a house party which is going on next week

I invited her to my place for beer and Netflix last night though.

The bitch no showed then apologized by text afterwards:

Me: Hey, I'm having a Netflix and Beer night tonight, and you're invited.
Her: Who is this? (LOL)
Me: Prince charming, I live down the street
Her: Hahahah hey ____ :)
Her: I'm moving btw!
Her: And thanks for the invite :)
Her: I recovered btw, still taking it easy, but doing good now. Hope everything is good with you. (IDK what she's talking about here.)
Me: Good to hear! I should be home around 8 tn, lets catch up then.
Her: Okay :) I'll drop by after work. I'll let you know when im enroute home
Me: OK

Her at 2AM after no showing: Hey just got home... sorry I couldnt make it :( Hope you had a good night.
Me: Haha. Have a good one!

I come home today and she posted some shitty song on Facebook: Bakermat - Don't Want You Back.

Any thoughts on our exchange?

Time to hard-next!

Patience man


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 10:29 pm 
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Madrabaj wrote:
Time to hard-next!



That's an emotional move.

Just see other women. She'll probably hit you back.

What a lot of men don't get is that every effort, every number is a seed. Sometimes these seeds will sprout a day later, or a week. Or a month, or even a year. If you plant enough seeds and are able to attract and keep women you're attracted to, you will create "abundance".

When I say men must remain "emotionally-centered", that includes being able to chill out and not let their sex drive override things (happens to me sometimes, even). This manifests itself in impatience and over-contact, or burning bridges unnecessarily

Pickup is not just "OMG I NEED TO GET LAID TONIGHT OMG", it's also about strategy and planting seeds for the future.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 11:00 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Madrabaj wrote:
Time to hard-next!



That's an emotional move.

Just see other women. She'll probably hit you back.

What a lot of men don't get is that every effort, every number is a seed. Sometimes these seeds will sprout a day later, or a week. Or a month, or even a year. If you plant enough seeds and are able to attract and keep women you're attracted to, you will create "abundance".

When I say men must remain "emotionally-centered", that includes being able to chill out and not let their sex drive override things (happens to me sometimes, even). This manifests itself in impatience and over-contact, or burning bridges unnecessarily

Pickup is not just "OMG I NEED TO GET LAID TONIGHT OMG", it's also about strategy and planting seeds for the future.



Lol, Arch..are you trolling the guy? Do you honestly want him to hope she reaches out again, to make another plan and have the guy waiting there yet again? It's not that the chick is talking to him and disappearing: she's telling him she will be there and doesnt come, wasting the guys time. OP, if you want to give this girl a 10th chance to make you wait there for her to come over or meet, go ahead. Its not "emotional centeredness" to have someone flake you off, disrespect you and waste your time because you act like you dont care. Call it what it is, thirst/desperation. And dont fool yourself that this chick has any respect for you and your time because you are chill about her flaking on you. If she eventually comes and fucks you, great, but you traded your self respect and hers for it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 12:21 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Madrabaj wrote:
Time to hard-next!



That's an emotional move.

Just see other women. She'll probably hit you back.

What a lot of men don't get is that every effort, every number is a seed. Sometimes these seeds will sprout a day later, or a week. Or a month, or even a year. If you plant enough seeds and are able to attract and keep women you're attracted to, you will create "abundance".

When I say men must remain "emotionally-centered", that includes being able to chill out and not let their sex drive override things (happens to me sometimes, even). This manifests itself in impatience and over-contact, or burning bridges unnecessarily

Pickup is not just "OMG I NEED TO GET LAID TONIGHT OMG", it's also about strategy and planting seeds for the future.


You do need to w@ter those seeds, just getting the numb-s will get you NOWHERE.

however, flaking in purpose for me, is an unforgivable sin. do that to her back, or do the cool and get other HB10s.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 12:32 am 
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neo87 wrote:
Lol, Arch..are you trolling the guy? Do you honestly want him to hope she reaches out again, to make another plan and have the guy waiting there yet again? It's not that the chick is talking to him and disappearing: she's telling him she will be there and doesnt come, wasting the guys time.


A dominant male, who gets sex often, doesn't get flustered by this. It's a shrug, nothing more. Not a time to "hard next FOREVER MAN!!!!"

That's the war cry of a man who doesn't get laid often. It also burns a bridge. I've been blown off on meet-ups by women, only to have them beg to come over a couple weeks later after I said "cool, I'm good either way" and stopped contacting them. The OP responded very well to her blow off with "have a good one!".

That was perfect. The less affected you are by women on the fence, the more you can get them down on your side of the pasture.

She may have a boyfriend, and if not, she certainly has orbiters if she's not obese. We have no idea what she has going on. And if she's hot at all, she'll have several guys she's seeing or thinking about seeing.


A dominant male is Dark Side of the Moon chill, not an angry rapper or a frustrated punk rocker, fist shaking at the world. He's chill and relaxed and happy with himself. He simply does not fucking care if a woman blows him off, because other women are lining up to be with him.


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If she eventually comes and fucks you, great, but you traded your self respect and hers for it.



I advised the OP to see other women, and maybe the girl will hit him back.

Patience is hot. "Talks" where you tell a woman whom you've never even kissed yet "don't waste my time, you disrespect me" is the behavior of a stalker, or a man who doesn't get his dick sucked all that much.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:00 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
neo87 wrote:
Lol, Arch..are you trolling the guy? Do you honestly want him to hope she reaches out again, to make another plan and have the guy waiting there yet again? It's not that the chick is talking to him and disappearing: she's telling him she will be there and doesnt come, wasting the guys time.


A dominant male, who gets sex often, doesn't get flustered by this. It's a fucking shrug of the shoudlers, nothing more. Not a time to "hard next FOREVER MAN!!!!"

That's the war cry of a man who doesn't get laid often. It also burns a bridge. I've been blown off on meet-ups by women, only to have them beg to come over a couple weeks later after I said "cool, I'm good either way" and stopped contacting them.

She may have a boyfriend, and if not, she certainly has orbiters if she's not obese.


A dominant male is Dark Side of the Moon chill, not an angry rapper or a frustrated punk rocker, fist shaking at the world. He's chill and relaxed and happy with himself. He simply does not fucking care if a woman blows him off, because other women are lining up to be with him.


Quote:
If she eventually comes and fucks you, great, but you traded your self respect and hers for it.



I advised the OP to see other women, and maybe the girl will hit him back.

Patience is hot. "Talks" where you tell a woman whom you've never even kissed yet "don't waste my time, you disrespect me" is the behavior of a stalker, or a man who doesn't get his dick sucked all that much.


This is not a "blow off." As I already said, its not a chick disappearing over text. This is a chick telling you she's coming over and not coming.

Multiple times.

It's not a chick telling you she wont see you. Why are you telling the guy to be patient, but cant even respond to his scenario?

So please don't equate what this chick is doing with a chick "blowing you off" ie just disappearing or acting not interested or ignoring you.

And no, I never said to even tell her anything, so no idea where you are getting "talks" from. Also, no idea why you're straw manning it with that comparison, as not only has no one said to have a talk with her, the OP has fucked this chick...passed this "youve never kissed" thing.

It doesnt communicate "hot" because if you had reliable options to fuck, why would you risk your time on a girl who 10 times out of 10 isnt going to show up? Lol, arch you gotta be trolling the guy if you're telling him this stuff...he looks so desperate right now waiting for a chick to come over at 8. You know you wouldnt wait at a place for a chick, have her not show, and then repeat this multiple times thinking she thinks your willingness to wait at venues or at home is "hot." It's not a chick "blowing you off" when she says she's coming at X time and she doesnt.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:21 am 
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Damn Arch. You must realize that you are preaching needy behavior. Getting flaked on isn't excusable once it becomes a pattern. That's her saying that your time isn't as valuable as hers. Fuck that...I can't get time back and no matter how hot she is will make up for that. That's not a butt hurt mentality. Men should demand a certain amount of respect from women or at least respect themselves enough to not allow women to waste their time.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 2:35 am 
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neo87 wrote:
This is not a "blow off." As I already said, its not a chick disappearing over text. This is a chick telling you she's coming over and not coming.

Multiple times.


So what?


The woman is on the fence, or nervous, or loves attention. *shrugs*

I honestly would not care, sex is not rare for me. Would I continue to pursue her?

Nope.

I'd say "cool," or "have a good one", then see other women. I certainly wouldn't say "you're disrespecting me, and I won't tolerate it" to a woman who has never even sucked my dick or presented herself alone with me.

Not worth my time. If she hits me up down the road, I may, or may not meet up with her. My choice.


Quote:
It's not a chick telling you she wont see you. Why are you telling the guy to be patient, but cant even respond to his scenario?


There's nothing for him to respond to, lol. She hasn't made herself available physically or emotionally to him. there's no relationship. She owes him nothing, and he should act accordingly, or come off as a needy bitch who fails to grasp early courtship dynamics.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 2:37 am 
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Who said tell her anything? Arch, you're responding to things that were never said man.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 2:56 am 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Not worth my time. If she hits me up down the road, I may, or may not meet up with her. My choice.
This is kind of silly. She's flaking and that's her choice currently. To accept a woman that treats you that way later on down the line is weak. It's especially weak if you have other women that you can see. Continue to see the women that deserve to be in your presence.
Arch Stanton wrote:
She hasn't made herself available physically or emotionally to him.
The OP has had sex with this girl multiple times. She has made herself available physically.
Arch Stanton wrote:
She owes him nothing, and he should act accordingly, or come off as a needy bitch who fails to grasp early courtship dynamics.
It seems like you have a weird sense of what needy is. The OP says that he moved on from this girl. That is legitimately the opposite of needy. A needy guy would keep contacting her and trying to setup more dates or checking in with her to see how she was doing. Plus, what you're saying makes no sense because he made the choice to not meet up with her after she reached out to him. When you do it it's your choice but when the OP does it he's a needy bitch who fails to grasp early courtship dynamics.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 2:45 am 
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UPDATE:

I know posting about this so long afterwards is fucked, but I would like your perspective my friends.

Summer's been great - Thanks to Tinder and Bumble, I've had 3 consistent "friends" who have been taking up lots of my time. ;)

However, I get this message out of the blue from this same HB10 (It's been like what? A month and a half?) :

Hey it's xxxxx. Just wanted to thank you for our time together earlier this summer. When we met I was at a point where I didn't think I could be comfortable being intimate with someone again and you proved me wrong. You listened to me and tried to get to know me and understand me. I wasn't ready and I probably won't be for a long time. But you helped me a lot and I'm really grateful of that. On my way home from work after another late one haha. Some things never change I guess. :) hope all is well with you.


Since the hard next, I haven't talked to her, or even thought about her.

I know answering would give her the closure and attention that she apparently wants. This is something I certainly wont do because of how things ended off - disrespectfully.

I dont know why I care, but I just find this extremely bizarre. She did this last time, and now she's doing this again, and was wondering if any of you can explain this? I assume because I reacted last time, she is looking for the same response. What do you think?

Thanks for your time guys. Both differences of opinion have helped be tremendously!


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:39 am 
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Madrabaj wrote:
I dont know why I care, but I just find this extremely bizarre.



lol, she handed you everything on a silver platter. how do you respond?

Indifferent, but pleasant.


"Hey, that was really sweet of you to say, XXX. Things are great, having lots of fun."


And that's it.


You finally took the advice and pulled back, and she reached out.

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