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You're making a huge assumption. It isn't relevant to the point of the OP so a blow by blow account of our sexual history was not provided. Did I fuck another girl during the relationship? No. But there were plenty of other incidences that would not be congruent with a monogamous relationship.
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However, despite us talking about it and occasionally getting close to acting on it; nothing was ever actually done.
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I know she was genuinely turned on by the idea of threesomes and such, but perhaps that was all it was ever going to be.
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I've been open and honest with this girl that I do not want a monogamous relationship from the start. There have been several times where we or I got close to doing something but for various reasons it never actually happened.
Clearly you say nothing happened, so when someone tells you nothing happened...thats NOT an assumption.
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This is just incomprehension. At no point did I say this was an open relationship. In fact, I said that I do not want an open relationship in my first post. Monogamous and open relationships are not binary; there are options in between.
You're making assumptions with information that you don't have and seem to only be able to view things in monochrome. Both signs of immaturity and a fragile ego.
You know what, educate me. I have no idea where if you're not sleeping with other people, where you say over and over that nothing happened, how thats not monogamy? If you have something thats not monagamous and it goes beyond what you said here, ie you TOLD her XYZ, then say so.
And no, actually I'm not assuming anything. I'm reading your words and saying them back to you with my opinion on your said situation. I'm not assuming you didnt fuck someone else, thats what you said. I'm not assuming nothing outside of monog relationship occurred, thats what you said. And I have no idea how even assumptions ties to my "fragile" ego. RC made assumptions about her dependence on parents...is HIS ego fragile? Is it just the opinions or assumptions that place blame on you that signal fragile egos? You are literally talking about "alphaness" and attraction and "friendzoning" in a cheating situation. No offense, that is probably the biggest signal of immaturity and a fragile ego when you're considering her attraction over her TRUST.
But anyways OP, disregard the above, because you're getting vague when called out. Simple question....if your relationship was not monogamous, and you were congruent why didnt you just say, "hey I'm gonna fuck someone else"? Before the first cheat. Before the 2nd cheat. You cheated, but if you were congruent, you couldve just done it and told her.
Whatever the case, if the chick really did leave more so for some expensive gifts over a 4 year relationship...if that was really what drove her out, what kinda relationship was that? How strong is that, and why would you want someone who chooses money they dont need over you? If that really was her reason, or even a big part of her reasoning, you can call it monogamy, open relationship or something in between...it's a shit relationship and was weak as hell. And instead of worrying about who is immature on a forum, maybe you should screen out immature women in the future. Because if this ended more so due to gifts than trust, its not my ego thats the fragile thing. Thats sincere advice and hope you REALLY know what you want the next time.