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What’s the difference between canned materials/routines and just being a fun person with interesting stories to tell?
Because fun stories are relevant stories. Bringing up your favorite band meet-up is relevant if you're at a concert, or the story heads that way.
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One of my very good friends who is quite a womanizer is a great story teller. I’ve heard some of his stories 5 or 6 times, but he keeps telling them and women eat that shit up. Hell, even I still find most of them entertaining.
I'm not sure anyone wants to aspire to be a "womanizer". But I'm guessing your friend gets the results because he's confident and doesn't fear outcome. When you have this mentality, what you say isn't as important as how you say it.
But at some point, as he ages out of the bar and party scene, he'll need to evolve beyond the canned stories.
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Can you explain more how having an exciting life makes you more fun to talk to?
Because people can feel it. It's a vibe.
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I’m being serious. I’ve heard this before, and over the years I’ve made myself live a pretty exciting life. I travel, go out most weekends, have friends, live in New York freakin City, try exotic food, do weird stuff every now and then, and have done more extreme sports than most people. What I’ve found in personal experience is that although my life is exciting, nobody actually cares except me.
Then you haven't found the right people. Didn't you make friend/acquaintances during all those fun things you did?
And, I have to ask my friend. Are you fat? Because you can have money, do tons of exciting things, but if you're fat, you're out of the game with women unless you're famous.
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Don’t know if I agree with this. A dominant man controls the conversation.
No, he doesn't. A dominant male is secure and happy within himself, and gives women space. He doesn't need to control anything except his work.
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If you don’t fill the air with the noise, one of her dumb friends will.
This is a bad attitude, and a poor frame. And I detect bitterness towards women. You need to slap that shit right out of yourself, because it's unattractive.
When you work on the five fundamentals, and are in good shape, you'll let your physicality do a lot of the talking. her friends will fill the air, and she'll think to herself "this guys doesn't need to yap my ear off all night. that's hot."
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Also, I think there are multiple breeds of dominant alpha male. One is James Bond, who is the strong silent type. That’s what you’re getting at. There is another breed of alpha male who is social, fun (but not clownish), and direct. Historically this second breed of alpha male is me on a good night. I used to try to be James Bond and it would rarely work, except on occasion.
I see what you're getting at. Go watch the show "Californication". Hank Moody does both, naturally. And it's a by-product of having been with many women and in many social situations. It naturally takes over your personality within the context of the opposite sex because you have true abundance mentality.
And remember, James Bond talked, and was social. He just wasn't a yappy frat boy.
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I do O.K. in silence but could be better. It's not fear, but maybe mild discomfort. Could you explain what thriving in silence really is? Kino escalation? Do you do nothing?
Yes! Nothing, lol.
I want you to step outside of yourself for a moment. Step outside of your daily path, and observe, from overhead the last time you had a conversation with a woman (this girl and her friends scenario you mention). understand that you and this woman have been biologically designed to have sex and reproduce.
This is the reality.
This drive, this need is inherent in every single one of us.
I want you to remember how you acted with her and her friends. Were you sitting back like a king, relaxed and taking up space, legs spread? As if these women were there to please you? Think, man. You're out with 3-4 other girls, talking with them. how is this a bad thing? How is this scary. This is fucking awesome. And you have it in the bag.
Or were you hunched over, fidgeting, constantly trying to get a word in?
One of the best tips I can ever give you is let women talk to other women in your presence. It's okay if they're not talking to you. You don't need to fucking fill the space. That is what women re for. They will gossip their brains out. You are the bull fucking elk. Let your harem chat and laugh and drink while you nod approvingly and grin.
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Sometimes it's a group of 4 of us (her and her 2 friends) that will be in silence. What do you do then, like if she's out of physical touching distance so kino isn't even an option? I find myself looking around, looking for organic material to end the silence.
No. Let the moment breathe.
I was with my gf a couple months back at a bowling alley with a friend of hers. they were drinking, laughing, chatting. I never felt a need to fill the space. I sat back, grinned, and let them do their thing. Once, when I came back from rolling the ball, they say to me, "Arch, you're so stoic."
As they night went on, they started flirting by sending dirty texts to each other right in front of me. My gf looks at me and says "we're flirting". I say "hot". And I sit there like a king. There's a lot of silence during this scene.
I never try to fill it. Sexual tension is rising. I am a man, biologically designed to have sex with women. It is the law of the universe. I let that breathe, let it rise.
At the end, the friend of my gf brushed up against my thigh, and then my gf sits on my lap. "We're all going home together", she says.
I nod.
They run upstairs and slam the door, then get in lingerie together.
I say fucking nothing.
They open then door, and I see them both.
"Are you impressed?" my gf says.
"Sure," I say.