Hanging out two times nothing happened yet


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:58 pm 
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Any tips on how to proceed here? I'm in the friend zone danger. I girl I really liked which I met at a local yoga class we suddenly started chatting on facebook, and now we have met two times. First time we drove to another city together to another yoga class, and last time she came home to me and we chatted and sang Indian meditation mantras together. Seems like there is chemistry between us, and she has expressed several times that she wants to see me again, and already this is about to develop into oneitis for me, how to avoid frindzone happening? Ask her out again? Wait for a while since nothing has happened yet and start a fresh in stead with a better strategy?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2017 5:10 pm 
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I guess the advantage here is she starts to feel really safe around me, because she is a bit shy and introverted, but my intuition tells me both of us are disappointed nothing happened last time we hanged out, so it would probably be a bummer asking her out again too soon.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2017 2:14 am 
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did you make any moves? Any intentions of being sexually attracted to her? If not, you're already friend zone material

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2017 9:05 pm 
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thittato wrote:
Any tips on how to proceed here? I'm in the friend zone danger. I girl I really liked which I met at a local yoga class we suddenly started chatting on facebook, and now we have met two times. First time we drove to another city together to another yoga class, and last time she came home to me and we chatted and sang Indian meditation mantras together. Seems like there is chemistry between us, and she has expressed several times that she wants to see me again, and already this is about to develop into oneitis for me, how to avoid frindzone happening? Ask her out again? Wait for a while since nothing has happened yet and start a fresh in stead with a better strategy?



She was over at your place and you didn't even try to kiss her?

lol.

Invite her out and act like a man this time, and forget the fucking meditation mantras.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:06 pm 
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Thanks! Yeah, pretty lame... Any suggestions how to escalate again? Meeting at my place was sort of the climax of our interaction so far, and since not much happened, it feels to me that much of the tension in our dynamics is not the same, how to bring it back up again? Invite her home to my place again? Or do I need to do something else to bring in more excitement? She said when she left she hoped we could do it again, and she also later asked for the mantras we sang and said she had so much enjoyed being with me.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:18 pm 
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I guess what I'm asking is what would be a really cool date suggestion in this situation?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 10:55 pm 
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thittato wrote:
She said when she left she hoped we could do it again, and she also later asked for the mantras we sang and said she had so much enjoyed being with me.



Do you want to be her lover or her mantra bestie?

Don't take her on any "really cool dates". Simply invite her over again for drinks. Then flirt and escalate.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:07 pm 
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Invite her to your place to watch a movie.
About 10 minutes into the movie when you are sitting on each side of the sofa you just say this: "Come over here and sit, it's much more cozy". Then you stretch your arm out.

She will then move over to you and sit and you can cuddle and escalate from there.

I guarantee it works every time.

Regards


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:45 pm 
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Great suggestions, both of them! This is more the spirit that I need. Feels like my confidence grows just discussing and considering this. It is kind of strange that I have such a hard time making a move on a woman that I like because I do attract a lot of beautiful women into my life, but somehow I always enjoy just talking so much that I forget all about flirting and escalating. I consider myself a very good and interesting conversationalists, but somehow I think I use just waaaaaaaaay to many words and loose my masculine center in all the talking, like I get carried away. I think I could convey the same message about who I am and what I am about in a much more efficient way, and still also be an interesting conversationalist and also have more room for flirting and escalating. Any thoughts on this?

Like half a year ago a woman I was attracted to visited me and we drank wine together and spoke for like 4 hours, telling each other our life-stories etc, she was obviously attracted to me and 10 min before she had to leave I jumped at her and we made out for those 10 min. Probably I could have jumped at her as soon as she came in my door so why all this talking?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 5:17 pm 
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Provide us with feedback with your progress

:)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 10:09 pm 
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Thanks for asking :D Haven't seen her in 2,5 week. We were going to meet at a concert 1,5 week ago after she couldn't come home to me the next day because of work but she invited me to come along to a concert the same day instead, but then I caught a cold. A little bit of texting, but not much. Invited her again to come meditate with me tomorrow 30 min ago, no answer yet. If I screw up with this one I'll go for another woman I dated half a year ago that also I got oneitis on, but suddenly the oneitis was gone, and it was easy to talk to her, and we became friends instead and I didn't care (we have lots of friends in common so we see each other often), then she got out of a relationship just recently, and when I met her accidentally at a bar this weekend we had a great chat and I was going to kiss her forehead when I left, but she pulled me down and kissed me on the mouth. So her I'll definitively invite home directly for drinks. As for the woman this thread is about, I'll be more flirty and physical if she shows up here tomorrow. Fed up with this oneitis-spellbound fight/flight/freeze kind of thing.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 10:25 pm 
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Tip for going after either girl: don't stop meeting other girls.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 10:34 pm 
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So easy to forget! Cool, thanks, I'll go for both and more.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:47 am 
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It sounds like she is digging you just by the fact that she keeps agreeing to go out with you alone but you really need to make a move man. If nothing sexual happens by the third date then it'll probably never happen. Alcohol is your friend dude! For me thats the easiest way to get out of the friend zone. Try going to an outdoor market or do something fun in public and split a bottle of wine in two starbucks cups. The thrill of drinking in public when no one else knows will open her up a bit. But make sure you are very touchy. Touch her shoulder if you tell her something or give her a little play punch when you tease her. Just flirt a lot. At least thats how I'd do it.

Then invite her over to your place to watch a movie or a tv show or something. Cuddle a little and escalate from there. Last time I was with a chick where escalating seemed kinda awkward at my place we were sitting side by side on my sofa watching tv and I just told her to put her head forward for a second. She looked confused, did it then i put my arm behind her neck. She looked at me laughed and asked what did i do that for and i just said, i dunno i just felt like it. Ended up banging. If i ever get any resistance or questioned when I escalate, kiss, stick my dick in her mouth i just say I felt like it or I just wanted to. It shows confidence that you do whatever the fuck you want to do and thats what girls are attracted to.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 6:12 pm 
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So she is answering that it is super-nice of me to invite her, and she'd love to visit another time, but tonight she has to clean out her old appartment, and read for a test she has on monday, but also that she is going to invite me home to her new place for tea when she has settled in more. I know she has been working the whole summer, and now her studies has just started up again, and she is in the middle of moving between two homes, so it seems reasonable. Guess I just have to give it some time and see what happens. Parallel to this one of my best friends who is a psychologist is also doing some pretty awesome work therapeutically on my "friendzone trauma." I'm saying that because it seems like most of the times I've been in a friendzone situation to me it seems largely to be about "inner game." If I "energetically" put the woman on a pedastal, she will notice my inferiority, and I will feel like a victim to the situation, in stead of an alpha-male more in charge of the situation leading it to where I want it to go. So my psychologist-friend is helping me to dismantle this oneitis-spellbound fight/flight/freeze mode I so often get into when I like a girl that prevents me from just being a chill and natural version of myself.


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