You, 24 hours later:

"I'm great. Planning a fun beach trip as soon as I wrap up all this school work."

Ugh.


What the fuck is fun about that text?

I have a huge crush on a bartender here in town. We've fucked a bunch, and it's always been weird. A month ago, she texted me to come over to her house. I said I couldn't. she told me "Whatever you say Arch. Peace."

Saying "Peace" is like saying "I give up" or "I'm frustrated".

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Ok so I already fucked up. I guess I will be better to not answer her at all
But I'm not frustrated and I didn't gave up. Well I did gave up a little bit on her, but I'm not frustrated at all. At least I wasn't needy that time right ?
Update: she texted me again:"i train new nice girls at work, all men happy". i texted her "i know its the same on my shift ".
She texted me back: "I see you happy too ".
This sounds like a shit test.

UPDATE:
She is sending me random messages through facebook, like photos of what I told her to buy. I'm trying to be fancy and funny, but can anyone tell me when I should invite her again to my house ? I mean, if im going to invite her again wouldn't that be needy ? I invited her week ago, she is not writing to me anything about meeting me, so I don't feel like coming with that again. Im going to see her at work on tuesday, Im going to be a little bit laid back, but I dunno when should I invite her again. If she refuses again and wont say anything about different date then I don't see a point of asking her again.

UPDATE 2:
I invited her sending message like Archer said that's it's drinks at my home, come by. She texted me "I dont know if im doing overtimes today..". Sounds like bullshit to me, If she would be doing or not she knows already lol. Well I texted: "its ok, im heading to pickup my friend from northampton and going to school in london, busy day take care".

I dunno it's already 2nd time when she "kinda" refuses. Im gonna go with 3 strikes youre out, like I always do. Next time she refuses Im done.

Okay, at least she responded.

Your response: Cool, hit me up if you get free.

And then you leave it.

WTF???????

This is not an emotionally-centered response. You just invited the girl over, which implied it wasn't a busy day...then a second later when she doesn't respond in a way you like, you say it's a busy day, and you gotta go. Lol, this makes you look fucking crazy.

Learn to control your emotions and not text butthurt responses. Take a sticky note and tape it to your phone. Write this on it: IS THIS AN EMOTIONAL TEXT? ARE THESE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS? And read it before you send texts.

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I knew I had busy day, but she finishes work at 10 pm after the things I have planned throught the whole day, I didn't even ment to butthurt repsonse her lol. I mean, should I lie to look more emotionaly-centered ? I went to pick up my friend, we went to london, I had fun, didn't ment to sound crazy By emotionaly-centered you mean not showing any kind of negative emotions ?

She just texted me:
"U okay"
Me: "Im great thanks, you?"
"Yes I'm alright. U working tommorow ?"
Me: "Yes"
"I'll try to catch up with U"
Me: "Cool, goodnight".
"Night sexy".

Ok so we make out again. I invited her, she came in late hours and she had morning shift from 6am so I think she cares. I took her for a date to forest, making out on a blanket, drinking. When we were on a date she started to talk that she don't know if she's the right girl to me bla bla what would I do if she wanted to stay only friends bla bla. I said that we can stop it if she don't want it. Then she started to say "nooo I don't want to stop" bla bla. She even said something about "friends with benefits". I told her that for now we are just dating so she don't need to complicate things and she should have fun. I took her home, we had sex.
Well my guestion now is, how long should I keep inviting her ? It's me that initiated everything again, she didn't offered any meeting. For me she looks like she just want to be fuck friends. Should I stop inviting her until she shows any initiative or should I kept inviting her and by sex she's gonna fall in love with me ? I feel like I'm loosing attraction since I'm the one that kept inviting her all the time, leading this relation.

She just texted me:
"Im at home "
Me :
"Thanks for nice evening, have a good night "
She texted me:
"Thanks benefit ".
"This is funny what we doing, I have no words, lol".

I don't really know what to think about it

Dude, lol, why are you acting neurotic and creating a problem when their isn't one?

You have a cute woman having sex with you.

What is the problem?

If you like her, keep having sex.

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So there's no problem that I invite her all the time and Im the one that escalating everything ?

She just texted me that she is staying with the guy she was with

Yeah, you didn't follow my advice in this post:



Or this:

I guarantee you got impatient, and kept blowing up the girl's phone, and she nexted you for being needy and un-centered.

You have to learn to be patient with women. I don't think most guys really understand what "patient" means. It means being willing to not contact a woman you just had sex with for WEEKS, and being able to walk away forever if need be.

All you had to do was live in the moment, be chill, be good in bed, not bring up her boyfriend/situation, and not constantly blow up this girl's phone.

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She was always texting me first, except one time that I asked her to meet me. I thought blowing up phone means to literally blow up her phone ;p I tried living a moment, I wasn't bringing up her boyfriend, we had a good sex. I wasnt chill all the time tho. I should play it more cool, true to that. But also she wasn't typical single girl, but girl that was hurt, living with her boyfriend. Well, whatever. I guess I should act like nothing happened right now ? That's what you would propably do Arch.

That's usually how it happens. Then as you get needier, you end up reaching out more, and she withdraws.

There's no reason/was no reason for you NOT to be chill. You had a taken woman get on her knees for you.

What's the fucking problem? Life is good, man. Men tend to create all these problems in their head when there aren't any.


You got dumped.

I gave you the advice I did because I've been there, in this exact situation. My mistake was (as yours was) was putting too much emphasis on HER and what she thought/what she was doing instead of putting emphasis on how I was showing up, and continuing to see other women.

I know this type of woman, classic monkey-brancher (doesn't live alone between boyfriends, always has to have one), insecure as fuck, probably bi, with a higher sex drive. She took you for a test drive, was really hot for you early on.

But as time progressed, she withdrew. Why?

Over-contact via phone, and you acted less dominant than her boyfriend. If you (and I at the time in this scenario) had kept contact only to hook-up arrangements, and had gamed other women DURING this, and maintaining a sense of aloofness, it would drive women like this fucking cray to the point they'd do anything for you. They get a ton of attention, so when a guy walks away or doesn't text for weeks, it works them up. IE "What the hell happened to him? Am I not good enough?"

I've learned a lot since this happened to me years ago, specifically involving hot women who are taken. That first night you hook up, be a demon in bed. Make them cum a lot. be passionate, lead. Then kick them out and wait for them to text you. In fact, when a girl has a bf, I advocate never texting her first after first sex.

Remember, shes CHOOSING to continue to live/be with her guy (maybe temporarily, but it's still a fact). She's acting like a player, so treat her like one.

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Thanks for advices Arch, really means a lot bro

no problem.

Ghost this girl, and see other women. She might hit you back.

You're advantage is that you've had sex with her.

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Hello again,
so I ghosted this girl, she was texting me and calling me and tried to talk to me at work but I ignored her, I started to see other girls and I didn't actually wanted to even speak to her again. But, she was still texting me constantly and wanted me to listen her out, so I decided to do it.
So she started to say she made a mistake, and she will do anything for me to give her second chance bla bla bla. That she is breaking up with this guy and she is moving out bla bla. Well shes kinda my weakness so when she started to hug me we started to kiss and we had sex again.
She was texting me all the time after, she was running after me at work kissing me etc. But again I kinda feel she is just playing a game with me. For example 2 days ago she asked me what Im doing tommorow I said Im going to meet a friend in the morning (I was going to meet another girl), so she said that I could meet with her aswell. I said to her that I'll be free at evening, so she said that she can't but she would like to meet me on friday. I texted her that friday morning I have training but I can meet her on friday evening. She didn't texted me. Next day she texted me that she will try but she have plans (so she texting me she want to see me on friday but suddenly she have other plans straight away). So I texted her cool no worries, hit me up when you will be free. After that she texting me : "We have opposite shifts its so hard to meet up now. I think im going to get smashed this friday". So basically, she is proposing to meet up (and texting me before bullshit like "i would do anything to wake up with you one day"), then she proposes different day, then she changes her plans that day and telling me that its hard to meet up now and she is going to drink that day. I mean WTF. Im dating 2 other girls and they are not like that. This girl is so inconsistent and I feel like she is full of shit, lying to me all the time. I barely gave her second chance and she's already blowing it up so hard. She seems like she have some borderline or sth. What do you guys think ?