What are you willing to give up for women?



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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 7:28 pm 
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This is question most guys in the community don't take a moment to answer seriously, and it's part of the reason why a lot of guys hit a plateau within a couple months of starting to go out.

You're going to experience a lot of emotional pain by approaching women, anxiety, self-doubt, you're ego is going to get smacked around. You're going to trigger neurotic, self-defeating thoughts, you're going to get rejected many, many times (if you actually do game lol).

Really ask yourself, am I willing to go out several times a week (if not more) and do something I'm uncomfortable with every time I go out?
This is question most guys in the community don't take a moment to answer seriously, and it's part of the reason why a lot of guys hit a plateau within a couple months of starting to go out.

You're going to experience a lot of emotional pain by approaching women, anxiety, self-doubt, you're ego is going to get smacked around. You're going to trigger neurotic, self-defeating thoughts, you're going to get rejected many, many times (if you actually do game lol).

Really ask yourself, am I willing to go out several times a week (if not more) and do something I'm uncomfortable with every time I go out?

If the answer's no, you're not going to be able to make consistent progress, it's as simple as that.

But here's the tough part, we all have a gut reaction to say, "yes, I'm willing." But, if you trust your initial response you're not being honest with yourself, you really have to be willing to question yourself on this, to weight the pros and cons (hell, you can even make a pro/con chart and weight each collumn)

It's okay if the answer's no, the only thing that's going to hurt you is a wishy-washy answer, just dipping your toes in the water. And that's what most guys do, they tell themselves they want to get this area of this life handled, but they don't want to go through the struggle, so they watch the videos and go out and approach a girl here and there, but never make real progress.

I've been going out for years, this is 90% of guys- don't focus so much on what you want to get out of game, focus on what you're willing to give up, that's where the magic is. Once you can answer that, your goal is real, it's meaningful, and it's going to catalyze real change.

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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 7:46 pm 
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I STRONGLY disagree.

You make it sound like a young warrior must go out into the abyss, and risk it all to slay the three headed dragon to prove himself worthy, so you might enter the battle once again!

This isn't war, and sacrifice.

It's the most natural, fun, good time thing, we we'er put on this abundant green globe to do!

Mate with the opposite sex.

I give up NOTHING.

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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 1:49 am 
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It's not that you're giving anything up it's are you willing to put in the grit... the effort that requires success.

This is true of anything. If you want to get good at anything it comes first in your life everything else comes second... are you willing to put yourself out there to accomplish your business? Your fitness goals? Your ... ANYTHING!

That said it's not really like you're giving up or actually sacrificing more are you willing to do anything to be accomplish your goals.

If you want to get good with women I'd say you're going to have to get shot down over 1000 times before you're anything decent with them. Are you willing to do what it takes to improve?

Yes there will be some down emotions... same as if you do a business, same as if you do fitness, same as if a young contender wants to be a champion.

Now if you want it then you'll be a success. If you just want to get a girlfriend? Well just work on yourself, and keep loving yourself a girl will come around into you. THat's just how it is. You don't need pick up to get a girlfriend but if you want to be skilled with women with a rich dating life that's more about you putting yourself out there and experiencing the good and the bad.

I do feel where Heywood is coming from though, this is an amazing experience and while it's a bitch to get started it's pretty awesome on the other side.

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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 2:26 am 
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This is a hobby. When I'm not enjoying it, I don't do it. Maybe it would be easier if people stopped thinking of pickup as a lifestyle and treated it like a...wait for it...A SIMPLE GAME!

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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 3:48 am 
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seems like you want to get married man you want to find the special one, then be ready to give up your freedom, and your money, and maybe drinking if you do, this is game and it supposed to be fun, not thinking about what you want to give up for a woman.


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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 4:38 am 
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When I first learned pickup I saw immediate results which was awesome, but knew I was still falling way short of where I could be. I didn't like having to exert that much effort and deal with so much BS, rejection, and hassle. I felt more comfortable getting into longer term monogamous relationships because it was just easier for me, plain and simple.

There's is an entire continuum in pickup ranging from the guru that bangs 100s of women and goes out all the time, to the guy who uses pickup to find one girl and stays with her in a LTR. Pickup helps you with almost any relationship, whether with men or women, shorterm or longterm, or sexual or non. So it doesn't always have to be about facing your fear of cold approach. You may only do a little cold approach and focus more on internet dating or warm encounters. It's all still pickup.

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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 9:27 am 
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The mindset that the op offers is full of negativity. He frames women as value takers instead of value givers. The proper mindset and question IMHO is what can you gain from women? Gain over loss. Pleasure over pain.

If your answer is pussy in the positive question, then you have failed to value women as productive human beings on this planet. Women can offer more value than their pussies. If you prefer to answer the op's negative question, then you have effectively taken out the fun in your interaction with women. When you interact with women, the gains that you extract from that interaction far outweighs what you think you have lost or the pain that you have felt. If you approach women with a fear of pain mindset or a what will I give up mindset, you have already lost the sarge with a negative vibe.

Most women are intelligent, emphatic, industrious and nurturing creatures. If you don't see women that way, then your view of pick up is just plain fucked up.

On the otherhand if you're always happy interacting with women because you see them as intelligent, emphatic, industrious, and nurturing creatures, you will always have an edge in your sarges.

Pick up is about getting laid with a human being. If you see women as instruments of pain and pick up as a chore, then that's retarded.

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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 1:04 am 
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Bro, girls are people too. Just chat and flirt and have the time of your life. I am not sacrificing anything since I don't really care about other peoples opinions about me. If she didn't like me, oh well. Another girl turning 18 every day.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 12:48 am 
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Monsignor Crisanto wrote:
if you're always happy interacting with women because you see them as intelligent, emphatic, industrious, and nurturing creatures, you will always have an edge in your sarges.

+1

Speaking with women is not uncomfortable in the least. IT'S FUN! Sure the first interaction or two of the day/night is to get the rust off, but 3 seconds in it's as comfy as a warm blanket. You're connecting with the opposite sex, what could be better than that. For guys who approach in a non-gamey manner, "rejections" won't sting nearly as much. If a guy is going to emulate youtube pua gamespammers then that would be as uncomfortable as all hell and I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 7:50 pm 
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I disagree.
If you go about it with a brute force method you're going to constantly get rejected so much that you start to feel pretty awful and your self esteem is going to take a blow. That's not healthy though. Exercise is something you can certainly over do and it has it's limits. It doesn't matter if it's mental exercise or physical exercise or a combination of both.

If you over do it, you get hurt and now you need to do rehab. Rehab is no different from exercise except for the goal. Rehab is when you're sub par at something and you're working to be ordinary. Exercise is when you're working to be extraordinary.

Taking on more than you can do is not a great idea, ever. Don't go out and run a 10k when you can barely do 1.5k [aka a mile], you're just damaging your body and you aren't getting any gains from this. Don't try to bench 5 sets of 10 when you haven't benched in years [this is also going to do more harm than good]. And certainly don't work through an injury like a sprained ankle... you're risking permanent damage.


Working out should make you sore and exhausted [otherwise it's kinda a shit workout]. This is for getting better. Maintaining yourself might not be so exhausting but it means you're not losing your touch.

With studying you never want to study too much at once becuase this over whelms you and you start to lose a lot of information...

With girls and pick up ideally you should go a bit out of your comfort zone each day, but don't fucking torture yourself. If you start to feel depressed and you've got low self esteem and piss poor confidence you know what is NOT going to help you? Going out and talking to girls while you're feeling down. You're less likely to attract anyone like that AND you're going to reinforce the idea that you aren't attractive when you get rejected and it's going to make those feelings worse and worse and make you fuck up more and more.

So, when you feel down, take a fucking break and relax. Do something fun that you feel comfortable doing. Then go back out there and try again. Maybe just talk to 3 people a day you haven't met before until you feel comfortable doing that, then move it up to 4 and so on. You don't have to be far and beyond your comfort. and really you shouldn't. Just enough to make an improvement.

Remember to go at your own pace.
Also, that you really don't have to lose much in order to work at this and get better.

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