Quote:
First you need to read what OP said. It wasn't 3 weeks after they meant.. It was months after being exclusive when she kissed the guy.
That's a different story, I didn't see that post.
That said, does it really matter in the big picture? a kiss is harmless, IMHO. Does it betray trust? yeah it does. But are we human, and animals? Yeah. Did it disrupt the relationship?
Only when he found out.
Quote:
Not 3 weeks after they met. Even then I said I dunno... If she promised exclusivity and kissed someone months later.. I dunno what to think. But let's not act like she kissed some guy 3 weeks after their first date. If she said she was exclusive with you and broke that it is what it is. I can't agree that OP shouldn't expect some level of honesty and faithfulness months in same way Id say she should expect some level of honesty and privacy with OP.
I see what you are saying. But I come from a place (lol) where this shit just doesn't get to me anymore.
Lying about the kiss would be a bigger red flag for me than the kiss, if that makes sense. Lying is a HUGE deal to me. If a girl is honest with me, I'll give her a lot of leeway.
Quote:
I don't think nor said she is his enemy.. But I said the truth. She lies.
Right.
But there's a tone on here from many posters, that have this fatalistic view that make it seems like these women are adversaries. It's a weird frame, IMHO for someone who is lying naked in your bed on a regular basis. I think it's a frame created by lack of experience with women, and insecurity.
Quote:
As to whether she's texting a guy.. Thats an assumption. If a chick seeks make attention when you have an issue as she has with OP in the past.
Yeah. I'm not saying it's not possible. Of course it is. But the OP has already gone off the deep end IMHO, and this just fueled the fire.
Quote:
As I said he is with a girl that he doesn't trust and yes he's insecure due to his ex..
That's why I advocate looking at bigger picture issues:
1. Does this woman make me feel good when I'm with her?
2. Is the sex good?
3. How often does she lie?
Look at those things and decide from there, rather than pre-supposing she's mentally unstable and currently texting guys.
Quote:
Should the guy be with a chick who isn't honest with him and who he doesn't trust? No.
Depends on how great the other aspects are. He's not marrying her at this point, so I think context is important.
Quote:
And she shouldn't be with a guy who is dishonest and invades her privacy. Even the shrink thing... Guy has to find out a year into it she's been going to a shrink? Is this a relationship? I don't give a fuck whether she loves cock and wants threesomes.. . What's important is there isn't trust here, secrets and lies.
Eh. what's most important IMHO is fun. That's all relationships are supposed to be. If not, why the fuck even bother?
Quote:
He can very well stay in this.. Just don't expect the truth and continue being ok with not trusting her. If they are on the same page with that ok.
Agreed. But I would blow this thing up a bit, start having dirtier sex, and start putting her more in the light of a playmate than a great girlfriend. Keep it like that, keep it hot and fun, and let her prove herself to him if she's great girlfriend material organically.