Def inner game problems



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 Post subject: Def inner game problems
PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 8:04 am 
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Well, my problem is that I currently am in a ' I hate women a lot'state. Just thinking about shit like women not apologizing for anything, seeing movies in which the women treat guys like shit and get no punishment for it, using dudes for all kinds of tasks, even in pick-up, they expect you to do all the fucking work like you're walking entertainment, they would start the relationship, hence the entitlement thing, all of this pisses me off and not because of only what it is, but also due to the fact that I can't see a proper way of retalation and that's what I strongly crave for. So I turn to you guys, I get IOIs from time to time, but not when I am in this type of mood and I came to ask you - what the fuck can you actually do to fight with this ?

I may be AFC as fuck,but surely I have to be onto something here ?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:38 am 
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Cool story bro, now what are you going to do about it? Hate, you cant take that shit anywhere. Maybe you should go fuck a prostitute. Or cry that there are no no nice girls anymore and that all those fairy tales you watched as a child lied to you. Or you can smile, walk down the street, say hi to a nice looking girl and see if there is anything going between you both. If not, try the next one. You will find cool girls buddy, I hear you, but you just got to judge them individually.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:52 am 
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No, I get it, things are what they are, but is there really nothing you could do to get your revenge on a bitch and actually feel good about it ? That's what gets me - this feeling that women always win and guys always lose. And even when they do win a bit, women win more.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 12:18 am 
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Usually, resentment is a result of running covert contracts with people. Basically, you have to ask yourself, are you being a certain way to get women and it's not working so you're blaming it on them? You might be using a failing strategy and treating it as an unspoken or covert contract:

1. If I do/say X then women should want to date me.
2. But when I do/say X, they don't respond the way I want.
3. Therefore, I'm angry and resentful toward women because I can't get one right now.
4. Conclusion: They are the problem, not me.

Maybe you should consider that your belief system is problematic and that you should start working on practicing and making changes rather than blaming women for your problems. It is possible to change your outlook and therefore your results. But you have to let go of the need to be right about everything.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:00 am 
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RandyMarsh wrote:
No, I get it, things are what they are, but is there really nothing you could do to get your revenge on a bitch and actually feel good about it ? That's what gets me - this feeling that women always win and guys always lose. And even when they do win a bit, women win more.

Fucking girls that normally would not have given you the time of day, is revenge enough. On a lesser scale..even if you don't fuck them, even number closing or insta-dating girls, that prior to that, would not have given you any chance in hell..is also revenge enough. This is what will eventually happen for you if you study this craft called pickup & self-improvement, and implement it into your lifestyle. Ironically though..by the time you start getting these type of results with girls that would never have given you the time of day in the past (ie number closes, insta-dates, day-2s, sex)..you won't even care about getting revenge on them anymore. You will realize how petty your negative feeling about women were, and you will now see the bigger picture. I also resented women too, prior to and even during my un-wiring of social conditioning and my learning of pickup. I can't say that i've had a change of heart of my negative feelings towards women persay..i just see the bigger picture now. I realized that there's no point in me harboring those petty negative feelings towards women anymore, because it won't change anything if i do. If you want to get revenge on anyone, then that is probably a sign pointing to something being wrong with you. Maybe the person that you should be trying to change is not women, but yourself. You have to understand that women are also a product of social conditioning, just as much (if not more) as us men are. Life is fucking hard man..for us all (women included)! Men as well as women..we're all just trying to get by. Women are only doing the best they can, just as much as we are. The same way that we utilize pickup & self-improvement to empower ourselves..women use feminism to empower themselves.


-G

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Last edited by GFRESH2DEF on Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:36 am 
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jasonm wrote:
Usually, resentment is a result of running covert contracts with people. Basically, you have to ask yourself, are you being a certain way to get women and it's not working so you're blaming it on them? You might be using a failing strategy and treating it as an unspoken or covert contract:

1. If I do/say X then women should want to date me.
2. But when I do/say X, they don't respond the way I want.
3. Therefore, I'm angry and resentful toward women because I can't get one right now.
4. Conclusion: They are the problem, not me.

Maybe you should consider that your belief system is problematic and that you should start working on practicing and making changes rather than blaming women for your problems. It is possible to change your outlook and therefore your results. But you have to let go of the need to be right about everything.

I 100% agree with everything that you said here bro. It's definitely an ego thing with RandyMarsh. He's probably presenting to girls his negative mindsets, limiting beliefs, lack of refinement of character in his personality, and bad habits, that he may not even be aware of that he's doing in the presence of girls (or just maybe with people in general), but the women in his presence are aware of it. He's confused about why he's getting no results with women, so he lashes out against them and blames women for it. When the cause of his lack of results with women, is probably what i highlighted in the 2nd and 3rd sentences of this paragraph.


-G

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:18 pm 
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You can be bitter. It's okay. We've all been there. But you need to express and release those emotions, perhaps like you are doing right now in this thread. Then clear your head and get back to gaming with a POSITIVE perspective on shit.

Besides, you know what they say about revenge don't you?
"When seeking revenge dig two graves-one for yourself."

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:01 pm 
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Why do you want women if you hate them?

Thats the question here. If you truly hate them, how do you even make it to a forum to ask about them.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 8:38 pm 
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Can't say I hate women per se, I just hate typical woman behavior in certain situations because it seems to me it's unavoidable and it's also very annoying and maybe I am looking a bit too much into this, but I always see dudes doing all kinds of silly shit for women in the hopes of getting a chance with them ( carrying their bag, f.e., getting something for them,anything ) and this sort of pisses me off, because then they feel entitled to this kind of shit just by being women and if I don't do shit like this and believe me,I do my best to avoid it,I feel like I am a fucking outcast for doing that. Also, I had this chick in my uni group who kept bragging about how she jokingly told her bf she is breaking up with him repeteadly and he would keep begging her not to leave her - obviously bullshit in my opinion,she wanted to leave the sack of needy shit for good,but she didn't have a proper reason for it. Sure,he was needy as fuck,but she treated him like garbage instead of just dumping him fair and square - basically she had won all over,he lost and she kept using his weakness here. I identify with the dude in a way. I feel my weaknesses are being exploited by women sometimes and there is this feeling that I am not being respected. Once I have been asked by a woman if I trusted her - I didn't know what to say, so I looked her in the eyes and I told her I do. Now, thinking about it, I feel like an idiot because I would've felt better if I told her that trust is earned. That's my opinion, really, you don't just expect people to trust you - feels to me like I am trying to act like a nice guy when clearly it doesn't suit me, I ain't that way at all.

I suppose part of the problem is also the fact that I don't express my beliefs in fear of being rejected by people ( I mean socially here ). As you can probably see, I am not the most positive person there is.

Now,something else, if you're a woman and some dude plays a joke on you and you don't like it you can insult him 100 times, hit him,then insult him again and maybe make him apologise and it's all good. Insult a woman and she will find some big dude that wants to fuck her and he will beat your ass for the insult. Or ask you to apologize in a humiliating position. I don't really see what you could do to take the upper hand against a woman in stuff like this. It may be childish,but winning in this kind of situations can certainly improve your self esteem.

The ' never argue with a woman, you will lose' thing, I don't believe in it.

I also don't wanna learn pick up routines, I'd much rather improvise ( I mean not memorise the openers and behaviour, but learn the concept itself and figure out my style, sort of personalise it ).

Also, I am not saying I am blaming others for my inner problems, like I said, I know it's the inner game that is keeping me behind and that's what I am trying to fix here, it's just that I am kinda' lost, I suppose.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2017 3:00 am 
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Well, no doubt your inner game is WAY out of wack. Too much self loathing and blaming. The problem with loneliness and lack of success with women is that it compels you to develop an extremely negative and pessemistic mindset.

You have to understand that you can't change female behavior and tendencies. But what you can do is learn to use it to your advantage so you can get better results with women. It helped me a lot when Style in the Game said to never blame the woman or bad mouth her, and always leave the set with class even if you get blown out badly. A mindset of self-correction and introspection is better than one of blame and finger pointing.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 12:16 pm 
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I think I understand what you mean. You can't piss against the wind, so to speak.

Perhaps this is part of why I keep getting frustrated and I should take things the way they are instead of getting angry about it.

But there is also a problem with being social in general. And I mean sometimes when I enter a crowded place I feel like all eyes are on me and stuff like that. I rarely go to parties ( I do like chilling tho' ), although I feel like I would probably enjoy them were it not for my overthinking and stuff.

I don't have a problem talking to people generally,it's just I feel more comfortable with people I know. I usually don't start conversations with people I don't know, so I suppose I am sort of a textbook comfort zone guy.

I just don't know where to start really - I read some Pandora's Box from DiCarlo, but it seems pretty weird with the 8 types of women thingy,it's probably a cold reading trick for dummies,but still, I'd rather go for something else. Is The Game the place to go ? And I saw some dude saying that if you approach like 10 women a day for 2 straight years you'll get very far with women - isn't that just numbers game ?


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 2:33 am 
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Pickup is always a numbers game, and always will be.


I get it, that talking to people (especially girls) that you don't know makes you feel anxious, and hesitant to approach. The same thing still happens to me too bro. Approach Anxiety is probably the biggest problem in the pua community. I believe it to be the most pervasive issue in the game period. I too experience it on a daily basis. Yes i do get epic pickups at times..probably like 25% of the time. But for the other 75% of my time spent in the game, is just me practicing polishing and fine tuning my inner and outer game (kinda like a Blacksmith). All that practicing, polishing and fine-tuning my game, is what allows me to have those epic pickups every now and then. And almost every day or night that i go out..i'm managing dealing with my approach anxiety and social anxiety. The only difference with me is..i know how to deal with it, and i plow through my Approach Anxiety and Social Anxiety. And i have my own system to help me to do just that.


You just have to come up with your own system that allows you to plow through your Approach Anxiety and Social Anxiety, that you are experiencing in the field. Practice & building reference experiences, will definitely help you out with that for sure! You will slowly gain more and more competence and confidence in those anxiety provoking situations over time. You just need to frequently practice (i recommend 3 to 4 days a week, spend 1.5 hours to 2 hours in the field per session), constantly correct your mistakes in the field (i recommend that you write yourself a performance analysis report of your game from day to day), and also improve your life outside of the game as well. Doing all of these things all-together, will help you to overcome this issue.


-G

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LEARNING GAME IS LAME!..Right up until the point when you will eventually see a hot girl standing or sitting right in front of you. In that moment..you will wish that you had learned game!


Last edited by GFRESH2DEF on Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:19 am 
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You hit the nail on the head yourself. You are clearly uneducated in this space and need to reach for a depth of understanding ... Once you understand why things are the way they are they won't be so scary and your perspective and ideas will change. Doesn't matter where you start. Just start!

Pickup will always be a #s game because by sleeping with you a woman can get pregnant (try to imagine there being a time when there were no condoms) which will result in her carrying around a baby for 9 months and having to raise a child. Don't you think they need to be more choosy than men?

That same feeling you have about all eyes on you most people have as well, which guess what? Means their eyes really aren't on you.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 1:05 pm 
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I guess my core problem is this feeling that I do not handle social situations as well as I would want to and I feel an inability to do so. I suppose the only way to fix this relies in what you'd call ' getting out of your comfort zone '. When you are afraid of something, the best way to get rid of the fear is to get exposed to what you fear as much as possible.

Also the nice guy thing,I really want to get rid of it - I'm not a nice guy per se, I actually am a real asshole at times, especially if I get pissed off or I don't like something, but I have a reflex to refrain myself from it. To me it doesn't seem that women hate it, rather everyone does, men and women. And they do the same thing about it, they take advantage, it's just that the way they do differs. If you meet a group of guys and you act needy as fuck do they accept you in their group ? Sure, so they would make fun of you or get something from you. Women do the same thing.

Also this friendzone thing, it doesn't seem real to me - friendship requires effort from both sides,with friendzoned guys it just seems their effort outweighs the woman's, so we go back to square one - taking advantage.

What I'm not sure about - do you get better social skills from these random approaches or do you need to read tons of material to actually get there ? I know, you'll probably reply with the fact I didn't start approaching - it's true, but I am currently in an exam period and I'll be finished in fall when I want to start approaching - I'll get back here then as sort of proof, if you can call it that. On the same subject, should I get Style's books or something else ?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 11:51 pm 
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RandyMarsh wrote:
I suppose the only way to fix this relies in what you'd call ' getting out of your comfort zone '. When you are afraid of something, the best way to get rid of the fear is to get exposed to what you fear as much as possible

Yes! But take baby steps, and gradually increase the difficulty up a level once you get used to your current challenge level. You don't want to go too far into your fear and outside of your comfort zone, because you may risk re-traumatizing yourself..and you'll be too afraid to take the same action for a while. So take action in a systematic and self-sustaining way. You will just diminish yourself otherwise, and that would be counter-productive.

RandyMarsh wrote:
Also the nice guy thing,I really want to get rid of it - I'm not a nice guy per se, I actually am a real asshole at times, especially if I get pissed off or I don't like something, but I have a reflex to refrain myself from it. To me it doesn't seem that women hate it, rather everyone does, men and women. And they do the same thing about it, they take advantage, it's just that the way they do differs. If you meet a group of guys and you act needy as fuck do they accept you in their group ? Sure, so they would make fun of you or get something from you. Women do the same thing.

It's called "Beta-Male Shaming". Women as well as men shame other men that they believe are pussies and suckers, and they will directly and unabashfully disrespect you based on what their first pre-judgement of you is. It is different from a "Shit Test". It's hard to tell the difference when you're new to this game. "Beta-Male Shaming" is more malevolent in nature than "Shit Tests" are. For the most part, you just handle it the same way that you would handle a shit test - stand your ground (do not run away), do not become reactive by getting either too angry or too scared of the confrontation with the person who is shaming you. It's called "having a strong frame" in the midst of people who are trying to convince you that you're not good enough, you suck, and that you don't belong. You can work on developing a strong frame (or work on building your self-asteem) simply by defining what your boundaries and standards are for yourself and with other people, and not making exceptions or taking any shit from anyone who tries to overstep them. Do not accept anything less from yourself or from others. You need to respect yourself, and be respected.

RandyMarsh wrote:
Also this friendzone thing, it doesn't seem real to me - friendship requires effort from both sides,with friendzoned guys it just seems their effort outweighs the woman's, so we go back to square one - taking advantage.

You can also apply what i said above about establishing strong boundaries and standards with girls that you want to bang too. If you want to be sexual with her, but if she doesn't want that with you, and instead..she rather keep you dangling in the friend zone..don't let it drag on for days, weeks, months, or even years. Women are notorious for wasting guys time in this game. Me and my boy Jeff (Jeff occasionally slays girls off of instagram, facebook & tinder. He's a social media man-whore. I'm more of a cold approach man-whore Lol), had a conversation about how much girls waste guys time, a few months ago once everyone left this house party that me him and a couple of our other buddies were at. You can fall into this trap very easily in this game. Let her know what your intentions are with her straight away by verbally & physically escalating on her. This is called "Screening For Girls Who Are DTF". And if she's still not trying to have a sexual relationship with you, but you want one with her..keep it moving. Either cut her off or freeze her out for a while (as a punishment for her not complying with your escalation), and talk to other girls who are more DTF than her.

RandyMarsh wrote:
What I'm not sure about - do you get better social skills from these random approaches or do you need to read tons of material to actually get there ? I know, you'll probably reply with the fact I didn't start approaching - it's true, but I am currently in an exam period and I'll be finished in fall when I want to start approaching - I'll get back here then as sort of proof, if you can call it that. On the same subject, should I get Style's books or something else ?

Still focus on your academics, but also take action in doing this pickup & self-improvement stuff when it doesn't impede with your studies. Kinda like an extra-curricular activity. I'm of the belief that game is half theory, and half action taking. Do both. You have to study your craft, then practice what you study in real time.


-G

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LEARNING GAME IS LAME!..Right up until the point when you will eventually see a hot girl standing or sitting right in front of you. In that moment..you will wish that you had learned game!


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