Have apps screwed dating?



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:17 am 
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In my late 30's .. should be married by now with 2.4 children and a wife that can cook and give at least one decent blow job a week, but instead Im on apps, swiping away and finding things tough.

I do get chatting, I do get some dates, but I just feel we live in such a different world than we did 20 years ago.

I feel girls are so quick to walk away from a chat when you type one little thing that doesnt get the desired emotional reaction from them and I am finding that getting second dates are so difficult even when I managed to get them into bed on date one.

You could always find criticism in what I/others do.. i.e. maybe we didnt speak about them enough/connect, maybe the sex wasnt as plain as it should be on a first date, maybe I didnt take them to a fancy restaurant or whatever some people may think, maybe its becaue i'm 5 foot 7 and not 6 ft.. but as a successful guy in my late 30's who can hold a decent conversation and could offer alot, I am so surprised at the way so many girls just seem to not want to stick around and see me again.

I am left wandering whether it is me (I am sure it is to some degree) or whether so many woman now are becoming so addicted to swiping and meeting random guys (giving that sense of adventure, freedom & a better guy might be just around the corner) that pinning girls down is just becoming harder and harder. Yes I should go outside and 'sarge' and things might be easier although I am not great at approaching.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 9:26 am 
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Quote:
In my late 30's .. should be married by now with 2.4 children and a wife that can cook and give at least one decent blow job a week, but instead Im on apps, swiping away and finding things tough.


According to who? Yourself or social programming?

Quote:
I do get chatting, I do get some dates, but I just feel we live in such a different world than we did 20 years ago.


The world is indeed a pretty dynamic place. Its easy to get left behind if you don't find away to adapt to it changing.

Quote:
I feel girls are so quick to walk away from a chat when you type one little thing that doesnt get the desired emotional reaction from them and I am finding that getting second dates are so difficult even when I managed to get them into bed on date one.


Because its so unpersonal. There is little investment and it literally costs nothing to walk away from a chat convo in contrast to possible public humiliation if she'd walk away from lets say....a date?

Quote:
You could always find criticism in what I/others do.. i.e. maybe we didnt speak about them enough/connect, maybe the sex wasnt as plain as it should be on a first date, maybe I didnt take them to a fancy restaurant or whatever some people may think, maybe its becaue i'm 5 foot 7 and not 6 ft.. but as a successful guy in my late 30's who can hold a decent conversation and could offer alot, I am so surprised at the way so many girls just seem to not want to stick around and see me again.


There is a reason for everything, especially if you are seeing repeating patterns in the way girls behave towards you. Have you bothered to ask any of them why they lose interest?

Quote:
I am left wandering whether it is me (I am sure it is to some degree) or whether so many woman now are becoming so addicted to swiping and meeting random guys (giving that sense of adventure, freedom & a better guy might be just around the corner) that pinning girls down is just becoming harder and harder. Yes I should go outside and 'sarge' and things might be easier although I am not great at approaching.


Yes you should. Finding high quality women on the internet is possible but not common (in my personal experience). None of the women i've found to be worthy of keeping around have i met on the internet and those that i did meet online were cool easy lays but not much more than that. The way you are writing this post, i'd say that your situation has more to do with yourself then anyone around you. You seem to find comfort in being able to easily score dates online without having to put in any "real" effort into it and are surprised when things dont work out long-term. Remember, easy come, easy go?

If you score regularly on the internet, you are good to go in real life as well. Get out of the comfort zone, stop blaming the world and take responsibility for the situation you are in compared to where you'd like to be in life.

All the best!

SGC_Dame


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:08 am 
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To me this kinda translates like:

"Is there too much competition nowadays due to apps?"

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:47 pm 
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Not apps specifically, but technology in communication and travel have led to a sort of choice-induced paralysis. People used to have only the population within a dozen miles or so of where they grew up to find sexual partners. Now that area is much larger. More people, more belief that someone better is out there.

That being said, it isn't just women. And it's only a problem if you think that you have to get married.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:22 pm 
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His post is written from the perspective of looking for marriage or a serious relationship. Heck by the time you get to 30 most people are married and have kids. But it is all about what you want. I could have done that a long time ago, but chose not to. In my relationships, I don't talk about exclusivity. So it's up to you.

Real life is the best way to connect with women. I don't think most couples meet each other online. I just had 2 dates from match and they both looked 100% better in photos than in person. I was so disgusted, I got out of both dates.

It's a two way street; It's so easy to find the next girl as well for us. So relationships have changed as a whole for both sexes. The thing is, the same stuff is still important; you should be primarly focusing on yourself and making yourself the best option while you are looking for women. If you are weak at approach, then you should work on that, that tells me alot about you. If you have problems with cold approach you will have problems with less personal stuff...

Wait did I just read that you can't get a second date with a girl you've slept with...? Lol now out of everything that is the most concerning. Forget height, weight, converstations skill whatever. That doesn't compute! How many times has that happened to you? It should be the other way around, I have never had a woman not want to see me again after having sex. Usually I don't text/talk to them after sex and they are begging to come back...

Anyway, you should have some sort of pattern that would identify the issue if it's really happening that much.


Last edited by masterm1ne on Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:35 pm 
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cunning_stunt wrote:
In my late 30's .. should be married by now with 2.4 children and a wife that can cook and give at least one decent blow job a week, but instead Im on apps,


wow, great attitude.

This is the correct one:

"So fucking glad I'm not married and fat like everyone else in their 30's!"


Which attitude do you think a woman finds more attractive?



Quote:
I feel girls are so quick to walk away from a chat when you type one little thing that doesnt get the desired emotional reaction from them and I am finding that getting second dates are so difficult even when I managed to get them into bed on date one.


You sound mopey, man. No offense meant. If you fuck like you post, that's why they're not coming back.



Quote:
I am left wandering whether it is me (I am sure it is to some degree) or whether so many woman now are becoming so addicted to swiping and meeting random guys (giving that sense of adventure, freedom & a better guy might be just around the corner) that pinning girls down is just becoming harder and harder. Yes I should go outside and 'sarge' and things might be easier although I am not great at approaching.



Women will swipe until they find a dominant male. Women will date guys until they find a dominant male.

1. Hit the gym (weights).
2. Shave your head if your hair is getting really thin.
3. Read books.
4. Go out to bars or events a few times a week.
5. Remain emotionally-centered , honest, and playful with women.
6. Practice fucking women until you can make most of the cum with your fingers and mouth.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:37 pm 
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If you have issue with the women on apps... Maybe go meet women away from the apps... Ie real life. But as you said you're not good at approaching.. You don't really sound like you care to get better so take what you get online. You're lazy.. Just as those chick's are online.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:24 pm 
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masterm1ne wrote:
His post is written from the perspective of looking for marriage or a serious relationship. Heck by the time you get to 30 most people are married and have kids. But it is all about what you want. I could have done that a long time ago, but chose not to. In my relationships, I don't talk about exclusivity. So it's up to you.

Real life is the best way to connect with women. I don't think most couples meet each other online. I just had 2 dates from match and they both looked 100% better in photos than in person. I was so disgusted, I got out of both dates.

It's a two way street; It's so easy to find the next girl as well for us. So relationships have changed as a whole for both sexes. The thing is, the same stuff is still important; you should be primarly focusing on yourself and making yourself the best option while you are looking for women. If you are weak at approach, then you should work on that, that tells me alot about you. If you have problems with cold approach you will have problems with less personal stuff...

Wait did I just read that you can't get a second date with a girl you've slept with...? Lol now out of everything that is the most concerning. Forget height, weight, converstations skill whatever. That doesn't compute! How many times has that happened to you? It should be the other way around, I have never had a woman not want to see me again after having sex. Usually I don't text/talk to them after sex and they are begging to come back...

Anyway, you should have some sort of pattern that would identify the issue if it's really happening that much.


This has happened to me far too many times to remember. Genuinely. Having sex with girls who then dont want to meet up again. Not sure if it's something in my energy or what as it just seems strange.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:26 pm 
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cunning_stunt wrote:
Having sex with girls who then dont want to meet up again.



The likeliest reasons for this problem:

1. You weren't good or dominant in bed.
2. You got really needy after you got a whiff of sex, which 95% of guys do, and blew up her phone to the point it killed attraction.

It's all about adding value. If you're good in bed, you're adding value. If you're mysterious and emotionally-centered, you're adding value.

When you give a woman orgasms, it releases "oxytocin", which makes her feel connected to you, thus she'll be hitting you up soon. If you can't/didn't do that, you at least have to make a woman feel in her feminine by being a dominant lover (leading the positions and not asking, showing passion, fun, dirty honesty in bed, etc).

do neither of those, and socially valuable women will try the next guy. When you are with groups of women, you will hear this often "Oh Jennifer, you shouldn't settle. It has to be passionate" when talking about their hookups.

The hotter, more independent, and more sexually aware a women gets, the less time she will spend giving a man chances. She knows what she wants. She wants to have her mind blown by a man, not train boys.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 4:41 am 
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Turn that on its ear. Make it work to your advantage. All these girls are buried in their phones nowadays. Wasting so much time swiping and only meeting men who disappoint them, then going back for more. Be the man who gets her to look up for once and engage her in a face to face encounter, just like olden times. I.E. cold approach in person.

I've always advocated diversifying your pickup venues, whether online, salsa dancing, speed dating, work, or day and night game. Unless you find one that really suits you and you just slay it and it alone. But fuck man, if you aren't getting results on tinder, don't keep beating that horse. Move on and develop other pickup skills for other venues.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:11 am 
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Apps didn't screw up anything. Guys are just afraid to push boundaries with girls that feel that they already know them.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:36 pm 
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JackZero wrote:
Apps didn't screw up anything. Guys are just afraid to push boundaries with girls that feel that they already know them.


I'm stealin' dat.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 3:07 pm 
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cunning_stunt wrote:
This has happened to me far too many times to remember. Genuinely. Having sex with girls who then dont want to meet up again. Not sure if it's something in my energy or what as it just seems strange.


What sorta feedback have you gotten ... ? I have never been told that I was bad, it was unenjoyable or whatever. I always get compliments. You should have some sign or be able to tell if it was good or not. Best sex is when you are more into getting your partner off than yourself.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 7:47 pm 
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masterm1ne wrote:
Best sex is when you are more into getting your partner off than yourself.


This.

And they'll be obsessed with you for life, lol.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 9:36 pm 
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I think apps screwed up online dating. My older brother met two girlfriends off of Match. And one of my sister's friends met her husband on Christian Mingle(all of this was before 2012). I don't know anyone who met their BF/GF on Tinder. And all the other sites are dead now.


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