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 Post subject: After second date
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 9:19 am 
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Location: Sydney
I've been out with this girl I met online (as seems to be the done thing with guys/girls my age -34)

When I first spoke on the phone with her we got along quite well, then when we met up she was far better looking than I expectedly so I wasn't really on point with my game, but warmed up and it was all pretty innocent...just two people getting to know each other.

Second date - we went out for dinner at this nice place by the water, again it was good and formal and like I said just two people getting to know each other, when we were walking to go for coffee I stopped mid conversation and kissed and and she kissed me back etc, we held hands and ditched the coffee and went for a drink at this little hole in the wall that I knew. We talked more and then I walked her to the train and we quite frankly after we first kissed we couldn't keep hand off each other.

During the week we've been exchanging texts and then I asked her if she wanted to meet Saturday and do something, unfortunately she declined as she's got a preplanned trip overseas that she's got to prepare for which I knew all about and she said maybe we'll catch up when we're both back in the city. I've taken this as a rejection that she doesn't want to take things any further etc.

I haven't texted her back yet as I'm not sure if the door's still open, I just wanted to know what you guys think whether/where I should take things from here on in?

Sorry for the long message, I'll try to keep future ones a bit shorter

Cheers

N


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 9:55 am 
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Cheers for the post mate.
Quote:
it was all pretty innocent...just two people getting to know each other.
Your actions were generally showing her that you're looking to meet a platonic friend. With the next girls, show your intent in a classy way.

In a bar environment etc., sit right next to the woman. Not across a table aka job interview.

Live and learn. Best wishes in the field my dude.


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:05 am 
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It was actually classy

We went to a nice French restaurant by the water, I just didn't want to gloat and sound like a wanker : )

The only thing that wasn't classy were the PDAs exchanged as we made our way from the restaurant.

Anyway the point I wanted to ask the question about her text saying "busy preparing for overseas trip, maybe catch up when I get back"....should I pursue this or just leave it as is?


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 2:35 pm 
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Quote:
With the next girls, show your intent in a classy way.
Quote:
It was actually classy


Meaning your intention to smash her guts, not Gray Poupon on the baguette.

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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:29 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
With the next girls, show your intent in a classy way.
Quote:
It was actually classy


Meaning your intention to smash her guts, not Gray Poupon on the baguette.
Precisely. I couldn't have said it better in a million tries.


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:18 am 
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I'm not looking to just bed this girl, I actually like her...

So the question still stands, do you think the door is still open or should I just forget about it?


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 3:07 am 
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Quote:
I'm not looking to just bed this girl, I actually like her...
It's a pickup forum so it's generally the case that liking a woman and not looking to bed her are seen as being diametrically opposed.

She may be telling you she's not into it, but you lose nothing by proceeding as though it's no big deal that she's going to be leaving and tell her to have a good time and then contact her whenever she's going to be back. "How was the trip?" If she ignores or blows you off at that point, who cares. You could even tell her to hit you up when she gets back and if she doesn't, there's your answer. It's worth a shot.

Or contact her in a few weeks if you hear nothing back as though nothing has happened. You: "holy shit" Her: "What..?" You: "Blah blah" ... arrange a meeting. Do NOT mention the "blow off" or be butt-hurt in any way at all. Maybe she'll FEEL like it at the time - remember women are in ever changing moods. She may or may not be down going forward, but try not to take a random "I'm preparing to go out of town" comment and blow it too far out of proportion or walk away out of some sort of ego/pride (not you per se, just men in general). Roll with life and enjoy.


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:56 am 
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Thank you that was the perfect response

I understand the responses from earlier maybe I'm posting in the wrong part of the site.

Unfortunately my days of wanting to just pick up girls and fuck the crap out them are over, as fun as those days were...I wish I had video evidence I really do.

Seeing though I find myself in this sunny disposition which part of the site do I go to in order to post etc?


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:14 am 
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You're in the right part of the site but when a guy posts something in the ballpark of "we had a nice platonic chat and it was pleasant and like talking to my old college roommate," it's imperative that he understands he's going to get blowback from that here.

The goal here is to have sex with the girl so the two of you can save valuable time and see if you're compatible.

Chop chop motherfuckers. Time waits for no one.


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:56 am 
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I don't mean to be rude,

But you're a fucken tool me and by the looks of it you always will be. I'm a bit over shagging girls in back alley ways after dinner...I've been there done that and I'm looking for something with a bit more substance these days, but I'll bet you're some prepubescent AIDS ridden little wanker.

You might grow up someday but you'll always be a tool


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 3:37 pm 
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Quote:
Thank you that was the perfect response

I understand the responses from earlier maybe I'm posting in the wrong part of the site.

Unfortunately my days of wanting to just pick up girls and fuck the crap out them are over, as fun as those days were...I wish I had video evidence I really do.

Seeing though I find myself in this sunny disposition which part of the site do I go to in order to post etc?
If reversing the process is that important to you then why not just go ahead, get her a giant ass ring, buy her a house and a red miata, take her to dinner regularly, go home have wine, tell her how wonderful and sexy she is, while she's got per panties on the soak cycle rinsing the guy she's fucking unborn babies out of he Victoria's Secret thongs you paid for.

Seems ligit.

I have a cousin jut like you. He married a pregnant gal.

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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 4:09 pm 
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Not sure where all the hate came from in this thread or why you think that her saying she is going on a trip is her saying she's not interested in you. Doesn't compute to me.

I frequently deal with people who are not in town here. Going on trips or w/e happens and is good because it gives you some space. I don't think any relationship consists of the partners being up each others buttholes every second of every day. Just ask her to text you when she gets back or text around the time you think she is back! Not a big deal!


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:03 pm 
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It's an on the fence kind of response, but the way you interpret it emotionally when in turn effect the direction that the relationship goes in. When you accept this kind of response and get "unsure" about it, what you are saying is that this women is in the leadership position. And thus, you're looking toward her to see where things are going to go instead of you taking charge and showing her.

Where you would see this as a rejection, and respond like a guy being rejected; I wouldn't see it as a big deal. I'd get her on facetime or SPAM in a couple days, continue to build the chemistry and the emotional connection; and she'd wanna see me as soon as she lands.

"Assume Attraction" doesn't just apply to the moments right before you approach a girl. It applies to every aspect of contact with women. Assume things are going good, and that she means well until its clear that they aren't. When you see things are positive signs you are inspired to turn situations to your benefit. When I assume a girl finds me attractive, I respond to her from that mindset and then assist her in viewing me as something she may or may not have. If you're the LEADER this is your responsibility. If she's the leader, then you'll just have to let the cards fall wherever she lays them.

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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:52 am 
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That's really good advice, I've started to turn things back my way so I'm more in control, gonna let things rest, build attraction and catch up when we're both back in town


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 Post subject: Re: After second date
PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 8:29 am 
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You're on this forum since 2008, demonstrate that you've learned nothing, brag about a glorious past and attack the guy when he gives you the advice that works?

Yea, I'm sure you were a real exemplar of attractiveness.

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