First Date-itis



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?


A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?


IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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 Post subject: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 8:34 pm 
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I'm looking for some guidance about getting over the first date hump. As background these dates come about from dating sites, not cold or warm approach.

Where I think I struggle is creating the romantic/sexual spark. I'm pretty good at keeping it light and mixing in a good sense of humor. I'd be lying if I said most of my dates were not spent smiling or laughing throughout. However, this seems to put me in the "nice guy" zone as evidenced by the last date I had where we spent almost every waking moment smiling and laughing at silly/stupid/lighthearted stuff but ultimately was told "I just seem like a nice guy but there is no romantic interest". My situation is a case of thinking "everyone is smiling and jokey and happy, lets keep doing this" but in actuality, it seems to go nowhere.In contrast, when I try to get into deeper subjects, intellectually or emotionally, it just kind of leads into a dead end in conversation.

I guess what I'm looking for is tips on how interweve those moments that build sexual tension/romance into what I already have as far as comfort (???) skills. I have an idea about practices and techniques to use, but I feel like might be kind of an issue. Seems odd to go from lighthearted straight to "where do you liked to be kissed," unless Im totally wrong. Gracias


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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 11:05 am 
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Kino.

Behave as though she's already your g/f, in a socially calibrated way. Super light, super casual, real convos, laugh, flirty, teasingly, all of that.

And kino.

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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 5:04 pm 
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Your dates are clearly a reflection of your lack of experience with being that which makes a man attractive. Now while this forum has an online dating section it was completely constructed to assist men with both cold and warm approaches. Its all about getting uncomfortable, taking risk, in effort to build improve your skills with women, and transform yourself into a guy that has the confident edge that only comes to those who are more fearless than not.

That is not something hiding behind the shield of online dating will ever actually grant you. There is nothing wrong with online dating as an additional tool, but if thats all you're doing, its not going to be easy for you to see leaps in your skill level when it comes to attracting women.

If you're truly serious about getting rid of your "first date-itis" and you're not just here for a quick fix magic solution i would strongly suggest you give online dating a break for a little while and get out the house to meet real women face to face. If you're just looking for a tip to get "lucky" every once in a while you'll have to understand that physical contact has to be made, as well as a clear display that you intend to be more than friends. Touch can say this so your words don't have to. However, that still involves some level of risk on your part. Nice guys and "safe" guys always finish last. You gotta get your hands dirty. Theres no way to fake this long term.

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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 11:50 pm 
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oceanx wrote:
Kino.

Behave as though she's already your g/f, in a socially calibrated way. Super light, super casual, real convos, laugh, flirty, teasingly, all of that.

And kino.


100%

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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 11:25 pm 
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oceanx wrote:
Kino.

Behave as though she's already your g/f, in a socially calibrated way. Super light, super casual, real convos, laugh, flirty, teasingly, all of that.

And kino.


Right, and through that convo, it presents kino opportunities?


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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 11:31 pm 
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Geaux wrote:
oceanx wrote:
Kino.

Behave as though she's already your g/f, in a socially calibrated way. Super light, super casual, real convos, laugh, flirty, teasingly, all of that.

And kino.


Right, and through that convo, it presents kino opportunities?

You make your own socially calibrated kino opportunities. For example during the day you can do a light kino right off the bat with a woman you just met at that moment (touch her arm while saying something). The key is it HAS to be natural and not forced in any way. When you convince yourself you already know her the kino becomes second nature. So long as she's into you on some level she will most likely enjoy the kino.

On a date situation, she's already made it known by agreeing to the date that she's interested in you on some level. To not let her touch you and to not touch her in a normal non creeper manner is in many cases upsetting to her.

Sit right next to her at the cafe or wherever. If you've ever had a g/f, just mimic the closeness and all of that which you exhibited with your g/f in similar situations. She probably wants to feel your energy and closeness. Let her.

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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 5:00 pm 
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You must have read on this forum quite a lot, change places. Don't get stuck at 1 bar for too long. Start with small kino like holding her hands to cross the street (no woman will say no to that unless you're really creepy).

Or you can hold her waist while walking once you'll are comfortable with each other.

This is how my first dates are usually (picked up points from kino section on this forum) :
Pick her up, grab a juice or coffee and go the park for a walk. Start commenting how fit she is. Grab her waist and see if she has any fat (everyone has a bit) and make some jokes out of it. There you go. She's now comfortable with you touching her. Hold hands and walk and go for the kiss when you think is good (there is no right moment for it)

You just need to do it !!


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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 6:09 am 
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Quote:
Grab her waist and see if she has any fat (everyone has a bit) and make some jokes out of it.

The rest of the previous post is fine but OP, don't make jokes about her "fat." I don't care how thin the woman, this is something no woman wants to hear, it may give her a complex, and it will make her extremely self conscious about getting with you - not exactly what any woman enjoys anticipating hearing more of when she undresses for you.

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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 4:10 am 
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oceanx wrote:
Geaux wrote:
oceanx wrote:
Kino.

Behave as though she's already your g/f, in a socially calibrated way. Super light, super casual, real convos, laugh, flirty, teasingly, all of that.

And kino.


Right, and through that convo, it presents kino opportunities?

You make your own socially calibrated kino opportunities. For example during the day you can do a light kino right off the bat with a woman you just met at that moment (touch her arm while saying something). The key is it HAS to be natural and not forced in any way. When you convince yourself you already know her the kino becomes second nature. So long as she's into you on some level she will most likely enjoy the kino.

On a date situation, she's already made it known by agreeing to the date that she's interested in you on some level. To not let her touch you and to not touch her in a normal non creeper manner is in many cases upsetting to her.

Sit right next to her at the cafe or wherever. If you've ever had a g/f, just mimic the closeness and all of that which you exhibited with your g/f in similar situations. She probably wants to feel your energy and closeness. Let her.


I think I get it, though I'm not clear by what you mean by forced. As in make sure you tie the kino to a verbal situation/response? Not just like random touching with silence?


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 Post subject: Re: First Date-itis
PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 4:27 am 
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By "not forced" I mean natural. If it's forced you're probably going to be looking at your hand when you do it because you are seeking permission and/or subcommunicating that you aren't allowed to touch her shoulder for example. Think of when you've had a g/f, you don't think about it; it just comes thru as second nature.

Quote:
As in make sure you tie the kino to a verbal situation/response? Not just like random touching with silence?

It just depends on what level you're at with the interaction/relationship and at what stage. If it feels like the right thing to do, hold her hand. If it feels like the right thing to do, kiss her. Again if you've had a g/f just do the same kinds of things but it has to be in a certain logical order or her alarm bells will rightly go off.

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