First post here,
I'm a 30 year old doctor in a major east coast city. I've been single and dating for the past 6 months after a 2 year long relationship. I met a really beautiful girl off tinder a month ago. We've gone out multiple times, slept together twice. The problem is I can't read her at all.
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By "read" are you meaning you want to know where she stands with you? If so, why is it important so early on in the relationship? Why make things so serious so soon?
When we started dating she barely texted, maybe once every 2-3 days and took hours to text back. I jokingly made a comment that she's difficult to talk to and she made the effort to text me more. Now she texts me at least once every other day just to shoot the shit. She is also eager to split the check and keep things even. So a lot of positive signs that she respects me.
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And now the frequency of of hangouts has increased, you're sleeping together...you're building trust sounds like a good thing.
However there are some things that I can't understand. We have sex and she leaves pretty abruptly afterwards, doesn't try to cuddle. All of her texts are pretty basic small talk, nothing sensual or sexual. She's pretty weird about letting me know where she lives in case i'm "looney tunes". I've been dating multiple girls to try and prevent ONEitis and doing my best to be alpha and keep things light.
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So you have a need for intimacy not being met. Why not share this with her? She can't read minds. You're wanting her to demonstrate that she's committing to this, but when you try to force things to move at the pace you want them to, often times that's oft putting for a woman and demonstrates you have very little self control. A woman can only feel secure in the presence of a man who has control over himself.
Last week I went against my better judgement (I blame the alcohol) and asked her what her intentions were and she said "I think you're awesome. I just want things to go slow" and that I'm the only guy she's dating . So i was pretty reassured by that.
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Alcohol just disinhibits you. You spoke your truth, albeit not in the best of states.
You have your answer, however.
Then the other day we had sex and she left quickly afterwards and I didn't get up and follow her out being half a sleep. . She texted me the next day saying she kinda felt like a prostitute because I didn't really walk her out or anything. I tried to reassure her by text that she was reading me wrong and that I like her and like hanging out with her and I wasn't using her for sex. I felt pretty beta afterwards doing this but she said she was reassured by it and laughed it off.
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Were you feeling half asleep, or annoyed, or testing to see her response?
Anyways, I usually have chicks getting attached at this point and I get to have the power, but now I feel like she's totally has the dynamic of this relationship in her favor and I'm kindve a wimpy mess right now. I'm gonna pull back from texting her for a few days and see what happens, but I'm worried I kinda lost this one already.
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Stay invested in yourself, rather than frame this as a power dynamic, view it more as the two of you getting to know one another and letting things happen in due course.