How to handle disrespect / putting in too much efforts?



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Tools & Techniques of Game: Meeting, Attracting and Seducing Women » Relationships


Forum rules


Relationship Subforum Rules

1. Posts about how to get a girlfriend will result in a ban.


2. Posts about your ex-girlfriend will result in a ban.

3. Any other posts not related to your current girlfriend will result in a ban.



Author Message
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 5:00 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri May 19, 2017 4:33 pm
Posts: 4
My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months. I thought things have been going very well until this week. During one of our conversations, she was trying to go back on one of her promises that she has made me without a legit reason. I found that extremely disrespectful. I immediately let her know that I really hate people going back on their words and haven't been talking to her much since and have become more distant.

But because of this incident, it made me realize that I am always the one leading and putting in efforts in the relationship and she would just follow and receive. I can't even think of a single time that she planned something or go out of her ways to do something nice for me. And on top of that, she even tried to go back on her words. Quite frankly, it's making me have doubts in this relationship.

But ever since I haven't been talking to her much, I could tell that she really cares about me and she has been trying really hard to initiate conversations with me. My question is: Should I tell her the root issue about how I feel like the relationship is one sided? Or just don't say anything since she's already trying to change.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 7:01 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 4969
Location: New York City
Now would be the time to draw lines if that's what you want. 6-8 months is usually that time in the relationship where you begin questioning whether or not you two should be together.

Her current trying to change is her doing what she feels to be neccessary so that you treat her the way you always did. It's not a change, because it was fueled by your distance; not her own understanding on what needs to be done. There's also always a chance youre looking at things from a one sided point of view because you're upset. Either way though, communicating that is always better than letting it fester. It'll only get worse with time if it's built up.

What did she break her promise on though? Why did you leave that out?

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via Skype, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Last edited by Eddie Fews on Fri May 19, 2017 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 7:50 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri May 19, 2017 4:33 pm
Posts: 4
Eddie Fews wrote:
Now would be the time to draw lines if that's what you want. 6-8 months is usually that time in the relationship where you begin questioning whether or not you two should be together.

Her current trying to change is her doing what she feels to be neccessary so that you treat her the way you always did. It's not a change, because it was fueled your distance; not her own understanding on what needs to be done. There's also always a change your looking at things from a one sided view because you're upset. Either way though, communicating that is always better than letting it fester. It'll only get worse with time if it's built up.

What did she break her promise on though? Why did you leave that out?


Thanks Eddie! Great advice. How would you go about bringing up something like this? And it was a sexual promise that required her to buy something but she didn't want to buy it anymore because of some lame excuse.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 7:52 pm 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title

Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:32 am
Posts: 3823
Fuck man just say what it is. It's an internet forum.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 7:57 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri May 19, 2017 4:33 pm
Posts: 4
neo87 wrote:
Fuck man just say what it is. It's an internet forum.

Hahah it was basically her needing to buy lingerie. But she said she doesn't have room.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:06 pm 
Offline
King Among Mortals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:36 pm
Posts: 7562
Location: United States
Was the lingerie for her...or you?

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:10 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri May 19, 2017 4:33 pm
Posts: 4
Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Was the lingerie for her...or you?


For me to watch her wear it


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:19 pm 
Offline
Ask a mod for a custom title

Joined: Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:32 am
Posts: 3823
jonfraquar wrote:
neo87 wrote:
Fuck man just say what it is. It's an internet forum.

Hahah it was basically her needing to buy lingerie. But she said she doesn't have room.


Well, I'll say on this specific case, ie she didnt buy the lingerie for you and gave you a bs excuse, some communication vs distance would be better. There should be a discussion where you address, ok that excuse is not the reason, whats the real reason? Now, there could be a valid reason to her...maybe she has body issues and didnt want to wear a certain thing...in that case, you should let her know how attracted you are to her instead of forcing her to get something she doesnt feel attractive in. Maybe the end reason is bs though and she's just selfish. But...now that I think of it...if its a sex thing, I'm not the guy who would want his gf to do something just for me. It sounds like you want something that she doesnt.

If the main issue is she doesnt do nice things for you, sure address it...but dont make it about a sex thing. Thats not a good dynamic to introduce around sex.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:27 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 4969
Location: New York City
jonfraquar wrote:
neo87 wrote:
Fuck man just say what it is. It's an internet forum.

Hahah it was basically her needing to buy lingerie. But she said she doesn't have room.


Lol

I can't help but think he left it out because Deep down he knows it was so petty and he didn't want us to rag on him about it.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via Skype, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 5:16 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot

Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2016 3:01 am
Posts: 383
jonfraquar wrote:
My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months. I thought things have been going very well until this week. During one of our conversations, she was trying to go back on one of her promises that she has made me without a legit reason. I found that extremely disrespectful. I immediately let her know that I really hate people going back on their words and haven't been talking to her much since and have become more distant.

But because of this incident, it made me realize that I am always the one leading and putting in efforts in the relationship and she would just follow and receive. I can't even think of a single time that she planned something or go out of her ways to do something nice for me. And on top of that, she even tried to go back on her words. Quite frankly, it's making me have doubts in this relationship.

But ever since I haven't been talking to her much, I could tell that she really cares about me and she has been trying really hard to initiate conversations with me. My question is: Should I tell her the root issue about how I feel like the relationship is one sided? Or just don't say anything since she's already trying to change.


6 months and assuming your account of the story is accurate, I wouldn't just drop it. Tell her what you said above and make her understand why you feel unsatisfied and/or even a little betrayed (I'd personally be more concerned about her lack of effort vs. that lingerie promise). Your best hope here is that she's going to take you seriously and her reaction should show evidence of that (more than just the typical make-up attempts she's doing now via the conversations).

_________________
Likes attract likes. All comments are geared towards generating lasting attraction for the purpose of a relationship with a well-rounded female (attractive, well educated and cultured, plus knows what she wants in her work and personal life).


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 5:11 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 04, 2017 12:45 am
Posts: 14
Location: San Diego, CA
jonfraquar wrote:
My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months. I thought things have been going very well until this week. During one of our conversations, she was trying to go back on one of her promises that she has made me without a legit reason. I found that extremely disrespectful. I immediately let her know that I really hate people going back on their words and haven't been talking to her much since and have become more distant.

But because of this incident, it made me realize that I am always the one leading and putting in efforts in the relationship and she would just follow and receive. I can't even think of a single time that she planned something or go out of her ways to do something nice for me. And on top of that, she even tried to go back on her words. Quite frankly, it's making me have doubts in this relationship.

But ever since I haven't been talking to her much, I could tell that she really cares about me and she has been trying really hard to initiate conversations with me. My question is: Should I tell her the root issue about how I feel like the relationship is one sided? Or just don't say anything since she's already trying to change.


A couple of things. First, it is your job as the man to take the lead in the relationship. Relationships generally go better when you're the one setting the tone and making most of the important decisions. Feminine women generally respond really well to that and hopefully she's reciprocating in other ways if not taking the initiative in most situations.

As for the lingerie promise, well, why are you so caught up in that? Why do you feel so disrespected because she's not into it or changing her mind? Have an open conversation with her about it. Don't make her wrong for backing out. Relationships aren't about being right all the time. There are far more important things you could be holding her accountable for than that. Plus, you don't want to pressure her to be a certain way sexually. That's only going to shut her down if she's not into it.

_________________
No More Mr. Nice Guy Certified Coach
Science of People Certified Body Language Trainer
San Diego, CA

Wanna strategize? Let's talk.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link