HitmanX's Journal



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 Post subject: HitmanX's Journal
PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 4:56 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 2:16 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Bristol, England
Introduction

Name: HitmanX
Age: 33
Location: Bristol, England
Level: Beginner

Ever since I can remember I’ve suffered from social anxiety, although it’s only in recent years I’ve labelled it as that. Before it was more like a series of limiting beliefs that I simply accepted and became. Joining the PUA community for me is as much about overcoming my social anxiety as it is improving my results with women. This is the key area of my life that I need to get handled.

One year ago, I left an 8-year relationship. It probably lasted a couple of years longer than it should have done but we had a child together and so I justified my unhappiness by wanting to do what was best for my son. Eventually the relationship ended and I now feel like I can get to work and rebuild myself.

I had already started to read books and watch videos on PUA before my relationship finished but I never felt able to act on any of the content. Over the last year, I have consumed so much content but have failed to take the required action. They say the game should be played 90% in field with 10% theory but unfortunately, I’m probably spending 90% of my time on theory and not nearly enough time in field.

Recently I have taken time to get to the root of my issues and now feel that my inner game is pretty solid. Now it’s time to work on my outer game and get that to the level that I know I’m capable of. Game has started to consume my life which I love because I know I will be a better person when I make it out the other side.

I look forward to taking this journey with you all.

HitmanX


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 Post subject: Re: HitmanX's Journal
PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 4:59 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 2:16 pm
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Location: Bristol, England
Day One

I originally wasn’t going to post this report today due to my lack of action but I feel the need to hold myself accountable for my failure as well as my success.

I went out in the center of Bristol for around 3 hours today but only managed to open one girl. It was an indirect opener but she was very friendly and we had a decent conversation for a few minutes before she had to go back to work. I wasn’t interested in her and so it felt like the whole set should have been a warm up.

I got in my head and my state continued in a downward spiral the longer I was out. I felt the pain of not opening today more than usual as there seemed to me so many fit women about in town. There’s no worse feeling in the world then when a pretty girl gives you an IOI to open and you are unable to do so. You just walk past and feel that pain.

Previously after a day like today I would have gone home and watched porn but I don’t do that anymore. Instead I’m going to meditate this evening and feel the pain, then accept it and move on.

Get better not bitter!

HitmanX


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