first date, online dating 'spark' problems



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
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I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?


A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?


IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 12:10 am 
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OK so I do a lot of online dating and getting dates isn't a problem.. I'm not ugly but not a stunner either ha. Right so get to the first date usually a pub... everything fine I pretty much always manage to kiss close. We flirt, I can read the body language know shes interested kiss at the end as I say. Last date got back home and start messaging and we seem to be both definitely interested meet up again.. then a day later she says she doesn't feel the spark and dosent want to take things further.... What? Am I going wrong in not going for the bang there and then that night.. am I being to nice ha? It's happened a couple of times recently... I've had some success online dating...
Cheers


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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 12:21 am 
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rangers234 wrote:
interested kiss at the end
Kisses aren't anything, especially at the end. A kiss at the middle of the date is what you should be looking for. Moving from your date location to your place should be what you are doing to get her to a second date. Even if she doesn't have sex with you on the first date, you should try to look like you want it. That's sexual tension. That will create a spark.


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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 12:55 am 
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Thanks man, ever since I broke up with my ex has screwed up my confidence and getting back into dating is fun haha. That's probably where I'm going wrong.. I have a date on Tuesday... any tips on the best opener during the date to kiss close? I sound like such a noob! ha.


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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 2:10 am 
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It's not about words. It's about what you do. I always open a first meet with a hug and kiss on the cheek because for me it just feels like it sets the tone. You'll probably read this time and time again on the forum, sit next to her. Flirt with her. Do things that require her to lean into you (pictures of vacations, for example). This for me is gold...in the middle of a sentence, stop and look at her and compliment something about her face, as if you just noticed it, and then go back into whatever it is you were talking about without missing a beat. It's the little tension things that lay the ground work for a kiss. Once you get one in, you can then work to the invite back to your place.


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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 3:47 am 
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Kiss at the end of a date = kiss of death

When you first meet her, give her a confident hug and an aggressive yet playful kiss on the cheek. Be like "Woah, easy there tiger, I don't usually kiss on the first date!" That completely sets the tone of your personality and what she can expect from you for the rest of the date, and onward.

Then tease her and be like "I can't believe you tried to kiss me, I just met you...pervert." She'll deny it and talk back, then you tell her you have witnesses and you are a man of high moral virtue. Inform her she better be careful because you are also susceptible to flattery. Just say a bunch of witty stuff related to the kiss thing. Keep playing that up and coming back to it. If she says it wasn't a real kiss then tell her to show you what a real kiss is and look all sexy into her eyes when you say it. That's how you seduce a chick.

The thing of it is, this isn't some boring job interview. There's no reason to be conservative and traditional. This is your fucking sex life and your valuable free time. It should be fun and playful and unpredictable. Sparks happen with original dudes who take chances. And so what if she is put off and has no sense of humor or adventure and thinks you are coming on too strong. She'd probably be too much of a prude no matter what you did if that is the case, so next her and move on if need be. Otherwise just have fun with it!

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Last edited by puaninja on Fri May 12, 2017 3:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 3:47 am 
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double post

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Last edited by puaninja on Fri May 12, 2017 3:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 3:48 am 
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double post

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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 6:34 am 
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Cheers for the replies guys. I do do the things i.e. Flirt with her and I can read her body language and know she's interested. I make her blush etc get sexual.. I need to workj on escalation during the date.. more than just my words. is kiss at the end really the kiss of death even when we're pretty heavy? Why arrange a second date with me then change her mind? cheers for the tips Ive got a date Tuesday so hopefully I sort myself out.


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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 6:22 pm 
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rangers234 wrote:
Cheers for the replies guys. I do do the things i.e. Flirt with her and I can read her body language and know she's interested. I make her blush etc get sexual.. I need to workj on escalation during the date.. more than just my words. is kiss at the end really the kiss of death even when we're pretty heavy? Why arrange a second date with me then change her mind? cheers for the tips Ive got a date Tuesday so hopefully I sort myself out.


Words are meaningless without action. You must DO something. [Touch her.]

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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2017 11:04 pm 
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rangers234 wrote:
Last date got back home and start messaging



Why?

the phone is for setting up meets. If she's messaging you after a date, invite her over right there, or the next night.


Quote:
and we seem to be both definitely interested meet up again.. then a day later she says she doesn't feel the spark and dosent want to take things further.... What?


I love women like this. Direct and to the point.


Quote:
Am I going wrong in not going for the bang there and then that night.. am I being to nice ha? It's happened a couple of times recently... I've had some success online dating...
Cheers



You ran into an independent woman who's not afraid to tell you the truth. Unfortunately for you, these kinds of women want a DOMINANT male. Her bluntness is not rudeness. These are the words of a strong, sexually active woman who knows what she wants.

You failed to act in a dominant way, and failed to lead on the first date. hot, strong women will next you and not ever feel a twinge of anything.

With women like this, I invite them back to my place 45 minutes into the date, even before the kiss after making them pay for their own drinks. Notice how she respected your time with shocking honesty? These kind of women expect the same when it comes to seduction. Get to the point, be honest.

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PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2017 12:02 am 
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If we don't feel it on the first date we don't want to tell you up front. It's a lot easier to disappear or let you down in a text. Sorry but that's how it works.


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PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2017 1:35 am 
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Charity_ wrote:
If we don't feel it on the first date we don't want to tell you up front. It's a lot easier to disappear or let you down in a text. Sorry but that's how it works.

Yea I was gonna' say something along those lines. I mean, if she has two other guys she is seeing besides you, and you are the worst of them, she's going to next you. If you were simply not her type, she's going to next you.

Sure, she'll say some cliché like "It lacked a spark", because that's her way of letting you down easy. Most women will do it that way. Yes, it can be confusing and dishonest and send us grasping to understand what we did wrong and what she meant by her words. But often it just means she didn't like you, PERIOD.

Be thankful they do it like that. Think of how harsh it would be and damaging to your ego if she told the truth. Like if you had really bad breath, or worse, something you have no control over, like you were too short. It's the equivalent of a guy telling a woman he doesn't like her because she is flat chested and he can go find a woman with bigger boobs to be with. It would be devastating to your self esteem if people told you the actual reasons why they don't like you.

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