Creating Comfort Through Text



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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2017 3:23 pm 
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Hello,

I am not sure if this is the right place for this post. Please correct if needed. I need some help in figuring out what it is I need to do to make dates happen with girls I've met online or through social media.

A few days ago, a girl sent me a friend request through FB, it turned out that we had like 10 friends in common from my country of origin and she is from the same neighborhood I lived as a kid and even went to the same school as me, but we didn't know each other. She lives now in my current city, very close to me. We started texting and I sensed that she was interested. She was eager to text about all the things we had in common, but before the conversation started to drag on, I asked her when she would be free the next week to meet up, that it would be nice to know each other in person instead of through text. She went with the "well right now I'm kinda busy" speech, so I thought "this is going nowhere" and just texted her to let me know when she was available to meet up and simply stopped texting her. then, like two weeks later, out of the blue I get a text from her saying "Tuesday, I am free". I think to myself "fuck yeah", so I text her a while later saying "That's great, let's meet at 7PM at bar X on Tuesday" then after several hours she sends me a text saying that she wasn't sure about doing this, and that it's not that she does not want to get to know me, but it's just that this is not the right way for her because of the way in which we have met and that she was sorry blah blah blah" So I'm like "WTF?". How would you respond to this?

I've heard some experienced pick up artists and such saying that texting too much is bad, and that the texting should be just for arranging a date, etc - and it does make sense to me. However, when I meet girls online and such, when I try to set up a date too soon in the interaction, the girls suddenly go cold. As if they are not comfortable enough to meet up. Should I build more comfort through text in the online settings? What advice would you give me for this girl in particular.

Thanks


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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2017 6:26 pm 
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Zorro305 wrote:
Hello,

I am not sure if this is the right place for this post. Please correct if needed. I need some help in figuring out what it is I need to do to make dates happen with girls I've met online or through social media.

A few days ago, a girl sent me a friend request through FB, it turned out that we had like 10 friends in common from my country of origin and she is from the same neighborhood I lived as a kid and even went to the same school as me, but we didn't know each other. She lives now in my current city, very close to me. We started texting and I sensed that she was interested. She was eager to text about all the things we had in common, but before the conversation started to drag on, I asked her when she would be free the next week to meet up, that it would be nice to know each other in person instead of through text. She went with the "well right now I'm kinda busy" speech, so I thought "this is going nowhere" and just texted her to let me know when she was available to meet up and simply stopped texting her. then, like two weeks later, out of the blue I get a text from her saying "Tuesday, I am free". I think to myself "fuck yeah", so I text her a while later saying "That's great, let's meet at 7PM at bar X on Tuesday" then after several hours she sends me a text saying that she wasn't sure about doing this, and that it's not that she does not want to get to know me, but it's just that this is not the right way for her because of the way in which we have met and that she was sorry blah blah blah" So I'm like "WTF?". How would you respond to this?

I've heard some experienced pick up artists and such saying that texting too much is bad, and that the texting should be just for arranging a date, etc - and it does make sense to me. However, when I meet girls online and such, when I try to set up a date too soon in the interaction, the girls suddenly go cold. As if they are not comfortable enough to meet up. Should I build more comfort through text in the online settings? What advice would you give me for this girl in particular.

Thanks


Moved to online game.

Well it's fairly simple when you're meeting in person you create a first impression... when you meet online you're creating a first impression.

I'm by no means good dating online, but recently I've began to pick up steam (future meet ups arranged with 2 women and chatting with 3 others) so I'm starting to kind of figure out what works.

So for a first impression you can't just have comfort, especially with online game. There are a sea of other guys out there sending compliments and trying to get their attention, a hot girl probably gets message 5 times daily from strangers that doesn't even include the guys who they are actually messaging back and forth with.

How are you going to stand out? What makes them want to visit your profile and learn more about you...what makes them want to respond?

The answer is a good funny line, unless a girl engages me or she already sent an initial attraction (like Tinder, Buzz, Coffee meets Bagel), then you have to be different. You have to show a combination of originality, edginess, intelligence and engaging style.

Now for certain apps like coffee meets bagel which at this point is my favorite it's pretty easy to start a conversation.

As far as once you get the conversation started building rapport is identical... you look for ways you guys are alike, music, interests, hobbies, it's pretty easy you simply look at their hobbies and go from there... for instance I often see girls who like to dance, I ask them about dancing or their style of dance as I take Latin dancing and swing dancing lessons. If they're are into hiking I ask them about hikes they like doing in the area... when they respond I ask them about dream hikes they might have.

This doesn't mean you lose your playfulness and edginess throughout the conversation, it just means just like in person you want to establish a connection. You want to show them they should meet you because your funny, and chil, as well as have common interests.

The difference between text game and online game is very simple usually if you got a girl's phone number in person it's trying to re-meet up and so you don't want to over text. You want to re-initiate spark and attempt to go for meet up, but online game is more you want to create a spark and then when the fire is going, ask for a conversation... So I usually say once the conversation is going well and fluidly, would you like to grab a bit to eat or a drink and have a conversation?

No pressure for it to be a date, we're already having a conversation but there is enough common interest, enough attraction that meeting up is something we both want.

That's just how I do things.... again I'm not the best at online game, I'm average looking and because of that I don't do as well online but I am still doing alright.

It's important you create a great profile and good pictures are EXTREMELY important when it comes to initial interest... good pictures are you doing stuff and looking good, not just selfies in the mirror.

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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2017 7:50 pm 
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@Poeticlyskuac: Mhhh, yeah it does make sense... I've been keeping myself from creating conversations through online, and I think that that's what has been keeping me from getting dates... My online game is currently pretty bad, but it is worth polishing it a little bit because it offers a constant flow of girls and it can simply be used to supplement everything else that you do regarding game.


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