You're being needy OP. Jack and neo are right. You're making the same mistake all guys in your situation do. You listen to her words, but ignore her actions. What she says erupts from the emotional shitstorm she's experiencing right now. And emotions are volatile. She will mean what she says in the very moment, but that speaks nothing of what she'll feel in 10 minutes.
Her actions on the other hand are not on the same page. You have a traumatic secret and her sister finds out not one week later? Come on dude.
Neo hit every point so I won't repeat all of them, but her actions are flagrant.
Guys are right. Step back, enjoy life. No woman wants to carry the weight of her man on their shoulders. Ultimately the problem isn't how she handled your issue, it's how you are handling your issue. And not being able to share it with a forum of complete strangers shows just that. No matter how traumatizing it is, it's part of who you are and you can either face and own it, or run from it and let in guvnor your life.
You're doing the latter.
There's an update. I stepped back for the week and she got in touch. We resolved our issues. As it turned out, what happened between us, the reaction was exaggerated. She told me about her previous relationship and the shit she has been put through and how the small actions of mine trigged those points and picked off the scabs. We resolved everything between us but things weren't right still. As I am typing this, I am only home from having spent the last 2 nights with her. There were moments when we were better than ever, amazing sex etc. However some sort of a wall was still there.
She confessed that her parents pretty much made her choose between the family's support or relationship with me. When we started going out the family were telling her she's not ready for the relationship and were never ready to accept me (or even meet me - I've never met them!). The moment she got upset over that issue and her unresolved past they were all over it telling her how wrong our relationship was.
She has said it multiple times over the last few days how she loves me and wants to be with me. She said the only thing standing in the way is her family's opinion. Issue is deeper, no matter what she does it's never good enough. Psychologist told her the same thing before. She's stuck in that loop.
When I left her place at 2 today she rang me 3 min later saying she ran out after me (I was already gone). I wanted to turn around and drive back but she said "it's best if we don't".
She just rang me there, in the middle of typing this post, to say her mum rang her. She was supposed to visit her family today but she decided not to. Her mum rang to tell her off for not doing that. She rang me straight after to tell me how she stood up for herself saying she didn't want to go and how it went from her not wanting to visit to her mum telling her she's been doing bad decisions all her life. Correct me if I am wrong - is this too twisted?
I left saying I love her and this can literally all go away in an instant because there's nothing wrong between us. It was a minor blip that led to this. Have you EVER dealt with anything of this sort? I walked away, I kind of made my peace but I am struggling to understand how someone's parents would want to get in the way of their own child's happiness and make them choose?