Dating girl for 3 months - Transition to relationship?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:04 am 
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R.C wrote:
My red flag radar is all over the place OP.


Why? You think she has a hidden agenda or something?

She told me she's very conflicted since she's in love with me but she doesn't want a relationship yet and she's not sure if she could ever be me since she's concerned what other people would think. (basicly I'm the 'affair' guy')

Anyway, what should I do? Stop mentioning us having a relationship and keep on having fun/ sex or just walk away and see how she responds?



Small update:

I met up with another female friend of mine to have a chat during the day at my place and I told her (relationship girl) this and she BLEW up my phone while I was with my friend. Texting nonstop and calling me, being mad that I was ignoring her because I didn't answer for 15 minutes. Later that day I met up with her and she told me she didn't want us kissing/ having sex anymore because she doesn't want to feel that jealousy. Somehow that conversation ended with her sleeping over together again and we today it's like the conversation never happened.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:07 pm 
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You don't "love" someone if you're unsure whether you want to be with them.
And you're not girlfriend material, or rather successful relationship material if 'what other people think' is even remotely a valid concern, let alone cause for doubt.

This girl is immature. Wants all the benefits of a boyfriend while at the same time making none of the commitments.

If you're emotionally invested, dump her. If not, keep her as a fuck buddy and date other women. And yes, I know she causes jealousy fits if you do that. And it doesn't matter, you're not exclusive. There's no such thing as exclusivity if you're not in a relationship.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:24 am 
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R.C wrote:
You don't "love" someone if you're unsure whether you want to be with them.
And you're not girlfriend material, or rather successful relationship material if 'what other people think' is even remotely a valid concern, let alone cause for doubt.

This girl is immature. Wants all the benefits of a boyfriend while at the same time making none of the commitments.

If you're emotionally invested, dump her. If not, keep her as a fuck buddy and date other women. And yes, I know she causes jealousy fits if you do that. And it doesn't matter, you're not exclusive. There's no such thing as exclusivity if you're not in a relationship.


Okay thanks you're right. Should I change my behaviour towards if I want to keep her as a fuck buddy?

Because at the moment she always texts me good morning and good night and whenever she hasn't heard from me after an hour she texts me what I'm doing. I always answer these texts.

We also basicly see eachother everyday which probably is too much for fuck buddy status but everytime we meet we also have sex which I don't mind.



I did arrange some dates in the coming weeks because I know I'd get emotionally invested otherwise (I probably already am a little) but seeing how she reacted last week I think she will get so stressed out she will probably ask to cut contact.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:34 am 
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Focus on meeting other women. She's not the type you want to take seriously.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 12:28 am 
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R.C wrote:
Focus on meeting other women. She's not the type you want to take seriously.


Yeah this

Basically this chick isn't being honest with you...all this you're exclusive but she wants to be free = she's fucking and isn't honest enough with you to tell you that. So she's not even truthfully exclusive with you. Even though she cheated on her bf multiple times I'd give her the benefit of the doubt if she was truthful with you...and she isn't. If you wife this chick you're just gonna take the ex bfs place and continue to accept lies and bs.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:04 am 
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Although I don't think she's untruthful to me at this moment (she never hides anything or acts shady, leaves her cellphone unlocked next to me when she's taking a shower etc.) I have to agree she's no serious relationship material and she would probably start lying as soon we'd actually get serious...

Thanks for the help!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:26 am 
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Update: She called me early this morning very randomly saying she misses me etc. I immediatley noticed something was up and she ended up telling me she was very drunk that night and slept with the someone else. (the same guy she went out for dinner with couple of times)

I told her thanks for telling me but I don't feel like seeing you anymore. (though maybe I shouldn't care if I just want to keep her as FB)

30 Minutes later I have 19 missed calls and 10 texts saying she needs me and she loves me. :lol:



Anyway just out of interest: Would any of you consider this kind of girl like serious relationship material because she's honest about it or is this the kind of girl that would probably cheat again?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:43 am 
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salasa wrote:
Anyway just out of interest: Would any of you consider this kind of girl like serious relationship material because she's honest about it or is this the kind of girl that would probably cheat again?


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