BDSM vs being an alpha male



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:33 pm 
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Hi guys!

Not sure how many of you are into BDSM, but I'm actually really into it from the beginning basically. The only problem I have is that the biggest fun for me is being the submissive one during the sex. I can switch to domination during somedays, but most of the time I like to be dominated.

This kinda argues with the PUA "alpha male" style, right? I have no problem in showing domination among girls I don't fancy, but near the ones I do, it actually turns me on to act submissive. So, in a way, it is not really the social anxiety or lack of confidence - for me it is more like going against what I like.

Do you have any tips how to work around it during pick up? Isn't being a dominant alpha male a condratiction to my fantasies?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 8:34 am 
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Trying to pick up women in a submissive fashion isn't really going to work. At all. They're reading signs that are hard wired into them and when you show overt & consistent submissiveness, you're going to lose a lot of them. The general frame needs to be you man, her woman. In general situations.

Unless you're talking about communities where the dom/submissive thing is expected but I assume you're speaking of standard scenarios.

However once you meet up with the woman and the two of you have had sex, you can then open up to her about your fantasies etc.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 7:56 am 
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Problem I see here is, chances are stacked against you. Even in the BDSM community dominatrices are rare compared to sub girls, let alone out there in real life where majority of people are vanilla. So to improve your chances I'd start searching in the community (look up fetlife.com for some events happening near you), and pray you fall on a dom girl. Alternatively you could start with a sub and try to see if she's switch material, or with a switch.

And fuck off the "alpha male" philosophy, you don't NEED that. Some of the most successful guys I know are the human equivalent of a sheep; they attract girls by other ways than brutal essence.

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