Approach help wanted.



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 Post subject: Approach help wanted.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 11:47 pm 
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Ok so yesterday I was at my usual hangout on Saturday night which is a local indie lounge/club with lots of regulars. I'm friends with alot of the regulars there and most of the staff Bartenders/Djs/security if that social dynamic should matter, I occasionally work there as a photographer as well. So I noticed a girl there super attractive girl, I wanted to approach but noticed that she was getting approached left and right. So instead I actually sent a gay friend so that she wont be on her guard and then later get introduced a technique that has worked before with me. He comes back and advises that I shouldn't approach because she seemed annoyed from everyone approaching her. The good thing though is that her and I have a lot of mutual friends so maybe that can serve as an advantage for me?. What I did noticed and for some reason I don't know why I didn't see this as an opportunity but there was a point where she introduced herself to and went on her way while I was talking with one of our friends..at the time I thought you know what I wont make a huge deal out of it. So my questions are. What could have been a better way to approach this situation should another opportunity arise?
and What could I do to stand out from everyone else?


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:00 pm 
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A very simple way would be to go there and tell her exactly what you noticed - how guys are approaching her left and right and how she looks annoyed.

You could go there and say, "Wow, look at all these guys approaching you left and right. Aren't you annoyed? I mean you had to wait until someone like me showed up, but it was worth the wait :)"

Understand that all the guys usually say the same thing, "Hi, you're beautiful" "Hi, can I buy you a drink" etc.

When you just observe the situation and you comment on what you notice, you will stand out so much from
everyone else.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:32 pm 
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Most guys that approach attractive women don't actually think they stand a chance. They just do something to satisfy their ego. So they can feel like a man for making an "attempt". This is why you get men that "cat call" women. They don't actually think the cat calling will produce results, but it makes them feel better about not risking the failure of trying something that could work.

Approaching women successfully takes a level of openness and vunerability. You have to be willing to put yourself out there fully and potentially not be successful. The beauty of it all is you learn from every expirience and more rejections will boost your moral, because you'll know you gave it your best shot.

There are no real stand out approaches, but there are stand out personas. The right vunerably confident vibe will get you where the most "unique " opener won't.

You can give the best opener to a guy that's weak and insecure he will not get results. And you can give a average opener to a guy that's great with women and he will get results.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:20 pm 
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I don't think that directly aproaching her in such situation would be good. Anything you would say wouldn't separate you from the others who had aproched before you. She would be annoyed with your presence, the moment you would be in front of her...

What I would do is this... I would place myself somewhere close to her (a few meters maybe) so as she would be able to see me. I would be with a friend (or not?). Then I would look at her but without a smile, just an ordinary look. Here what I do is, as you can not stare at her all the time untill she looks in your direction (that would be totally weird/frightening), I would look at her from time to time (often), shorly, and eventually our eyes would meet. Than from her reaction I would know if there is any chance (maybe she's not in the mood tonight whatever)... If she looks at me for couple of seconds, purely out of curiosity (why am I looking at her etc.) that MIGHT be a good sign and I would see her future reactions (she might look at me again !! :D ). If she looks at me later that's GOOD. You could give her some sign with your head/eyes/smile during your later or even first eye contact, depends on your and her type of personality (means do what you feel would be appropriate). If she's totally uninterested (turns her head away as if nothing happened), then I'd forget her.
This I do often (or maybe allways), try to get her attention and then evaluate her reaction, before I make any move...

P.S.
Your facial expression is up to you, but I know my serious facial expression would separate me from the others... :wink:

Edit:
If you still learn then just aproach and learn... :)

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:03 am 
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iggz80 wrote:
I don't think that directly aproaching her in such situation would be good. Anything you would say wouldn't separate you from the others who had aproched before you. She would be annoyed with your presence, the moment you would be in front of her...

What I would do is this... I would place myself somewhere close to her (a few meters maybe) so as she would be able to see me. I would be with a friend (or not?). Then I would look at her but without a smile, just an ordinary look. Here what I do is, as you can not stare at her all the time untill she looks in your direction (that would be totally weird/frightening), I would look at her from time to time (often), shorly, and eventually our eyes would meet. Than from her reaction I would know if there is any chance (maybe she's not in the mood tonight whatever)... If she looks at me for couple of seconds, purely out of curiosity (why am I looking at her etc.) that MIGHT be a good sign and I would see her future reactions (she might look at me again !! :D ). If she looks at me later that's GOOD. You could give her some sign with your head/eyes/smile during your later or even first eye contact, depends on your and her type of personality (means do what you feel would be appropriate). If she's totally uninterested (turns her head away as if nothing happened), then I'd forget her.
This I do often (or maybe allways), try to get her attention and then evaluate her reaction, before I make any move...

P.S.
Your facial expression is up to you, but I know my serious facial expression would separate me from the others... :wink:

Edit:
If you still learn then just aproach and learn... :)


I would go and do a straight opener, this girl is very desirable, looking eye contact not an option, I would go and be honest and tell her I need it to approach because I wanted it to talk to her and I did not see any other way to do it, very risky but the reward is big if after the opener she looks interested and you are able to switch right away to a normal conversation, but I would not last more than 5 minutes talking with her unless she is really into me, if I notice Im going to stall, I would go with an excuse that I have friend waiting for me, leaving her intrigued and avoiding the awkward situation where probably she will lose interest on you.
the next time you see her it would be normal to approach and start a normal talking without an opener.


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