ASSERTIVE-Gaining the balls back


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:13 am 
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I have only been seeing one girl. My other fuck buddy comes back in a few days. She might help me shake this spiraling out of control situation. Not really. The current girl...well she is catching feelings. I knew this. I didn't stop it. I never said I was perfect but I did see it unfold and now I know when a girl is falling for me. She gives me the same look all my ex girlfriends gave me, that stare and you're watching tv but they look at you...


Anyway, last night she texted me "how do you feel about being my boyfriend :P " and I was like "lol, we will talk about it some other time. Get some rest"


Now, this is my fault, I have been seeing her 3 times the last two weeks. 3 times a week that is. No dates. Just getting blazed and fucking. Unfortunately, I read somewhere that I release dopamine and she releases oxytocin which is the attachment hormone. That many times in a week...yeah, I even see where my train of thought is going. Luckily, I am 25 now and I am in more control of myself. I will have to lay it on her the next time we see each other that I can't do any of that. I am sure she will understand. I am busy with my focus on my career, health, and financing travel and relocation to NYC.

As of now, I am currently just mastering the organization skills. I seem to have been sort of slacking. I have been trying to get too much done and have been burning myself out. My boss is the one that sets me straight and tells me what I need to hear. I tell you guys when you guys are fucking up but you guys don't really know me. Rarely do I ask questions now but I definitely need a hand here and there and I do ask for it. I thank those that help me. For now, I am just getting used to being assertive full time and being productive. I want big things for me this year.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:14 pm 
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Not a pickup report but a "Field Report"


Today I picked up a new side gig. I babysit two little kids who are caucasian. My job is to babysit, entertain, and teach them some Spanish. Now this goes with the whole idea of expanding their comfort zones and mine. I am a male babysitter for one and it's not the norm for men to watch kids. I took this job because I can do one of my favorite hobbies which is teach. I am also in the process of perfecting my Spanish so teaching it to others is a perfect way to get me focused and have a purpose for me to learn. Same thing with PUA, I learn by doing and teaching. It becomes who I am.


Anyway, enough of the Ghandi shit, I walked to this house and was greeted by the mother. She is cute and pretty smart herself. I chatted her up and practiced asserting myself. I asked questions and wanted everything prepared for me so I can watch her kids. She then took me to the bus stop and there were two other ladies. One was a grandma and one was another mom picking up her kids. I basked in the female essence that these women were displaying. I forget how intoxicating it can be having a lot of girls around. I chatted them up and kept it professional as to make a good first impression.

If I can win kids over...i can win any girl over. One of my goals is perfecting my Spanish. Getting paid...while learning some child rearing skills. Ok. Bring it on.

Possibly...meeting the other moms in the neighborhood? Lol......... :twisted: :twisted:

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:19 am 
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March 17th


Field Report: Lay Report:

My roommate was in grieving so i decided to ask my cute girlfriends out to cheer him up. Being in feminine energy always brings the mood up for any man. We went to a local bar where people were celebrating St. Patricks day. I came in and there they were my 3 beautiful girls. We are just friends, I did sleep with a couple of them but we have been through alot so we keep in touch

So skimming through the friend shit we went to the back of the bar where my good friends proceeded to bust my balls. I am used to her doing this because i dish it right back. Anyway, her guy friend came by and this is the guy that she has been hooking up with. That was my cue to leave because I knew she was going to dip out early. I exchanged goodbyes, hugged and grabbed the ass of one girl who has a donk and went on my merry way.

My roommate has a girlfriend now but he still flirts and helps me out. We went to another bar where we gamed a few girls. Nothing solid since the girl that opened us was drunk and not within our standards. She was trying to get a drink but we told her that we were in line and that she has to wait ;).

I was just using her for practice and her friends come along and act weird :roll: . My wing saw the akwardness and said lets go somewhere else. I agreed and we said our goodbyes. Only one of them was in my standards. Not worth having my wing go through entertaining two of them.

I texted one of my old flings and it was a drunk text. I just asked her if she was out and about. She then told me that she was at one of the bars. I told her that we were heading there actually. She was trying to be all like "oh, we might leave soon, etc" and I called her and told her to stay put because I was already walking in.

Kate..oh Kate...I saw that she gained a couple pounds. Nothing devastating but she wasn't firm like I remember her. It has been about 2 month since I talked to her...at first I opened her nonverbally with my body. I just bumped into her and played it off like in the movies lol. She was like hiii and my roommate was there. I let them talk and I talked to her cute friend. I was straight up with her and she was straight up with me.

She said I tried too hard. I let that sink in. I made a post the other day about storytelling and it reminded me that if I talk less, the better. I told her thank you for the feedback and I appreciate it. She was very sweet and told me that she liked me but I need to cut it down a bit.

I then turned to my fling. I gamed her and told her to follow me to the front for a drink. My wing was actually signaling me to wrap it up. He was right, I already slept with her and all I needed to do was do some LMR. Now, this sounds sociopathic but I knew what was going to occur. I told her to go back to my place to which she agreed to "hang out". I brought her into my room to where I set up a show I have been watching lately. It's a great show! Rick and Morty lol.

As I laid on the bed she wasn't following the lead. I then grabbed her and placed her next to me. I tried a kiss for giggles and she was like "nope hanging out" I said ok. I let the tv do some work for 20 minutes and then tried again. We started talking and she was telling me how she didn't want to be a bang piece. I sought some closure as to why she abruptly ended the fling. I assured her that I won't make the mistake of making her feel that way. After that it was smooth sailing. Eventually I will have to let her know that I am making moves to go and move to NYC in a year. I won't be hurting her like that.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:04 pm 
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Field Report/Life Report:


Life is going well. I am writing this first sentence to remind myself to not self sabotage this lifestyle. I have ADHD and I won't have any medication until next week. However, a week of doing nothing is detrimental for my productivity. The least I can do is move at a snails pace rather than none at all. I also need to remind myself to not overeat since I am very impulsive right now.


Back to life: I have two fuck buddies. Kate is back in the picture but I don't think I will ever see her again. Not on her part but mine. She isn't the girl I want in the end. I have been chatting up my dermatologist girls who tend to me. I invested in having my skin clean and cleansed by professionals. It's pretty expensive but the point here is to maximize my looks. It has been paying off as it has skyrocketed my confidence and I have been more risky. I chatted up this 39 year old hottie. She looks amazing for her age and I told her that. She was pretty appreciative. We kind of were flirting a bit and she joked that maybe she should date younger guys. I told her...maybe you should ;). We kept chatting but I didn't pursue it further. I didn't want to be known as the guy that asks every girl there on a date lol. I wanted to be selective if I chose to dip my pen in that particular pool of girls. I definitely flirt but I didn't ask her for her number or anything.

I walked out today from the office with solid confidence. ADHD is only amplifying it. I can't wait to be back on meds so I can organize my thoughts better...until then...

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 2:25 am 
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Everything is being placed in motion. I have had an odd last month. Things were not panning out but like the article in my sig, it's all about patience and working towards your goals slowly but surely. I have been chatty lately. I talk to people without hesitation. However, I have noticed that my text game has gone down and I have let myself go. Time to sharpen the blade.


I had sex with a girl that was okay. Not a girl I would carry around long term to be honest but I needed to shake things up and she has been pursuing me for awhile so why not throw her a bone. There was literally not resistance when I F-Closed it. It was a matter of just handling the slutty feeling which I did. I reassured her that I am a low key guy and that I don't have time to gossip nowadays. She liked that. I don't think I will go out of my way to hit her up again.


Tonight i am supposed to meet up with my ex for a drink. It's just a meet. I definitely won't be spending too much time but I thought it would be a good test since i have never met up with any of my past exes before. I usually move on. This time I have moved on but I am curious to see what the evening has in store. I hit up an old fuck buddy of mine and she has agreed to meet up tonight. I plan to do it after a drink with my ex.


2017 is my year. I am going to go into savagery mode like I haven't before. I was scared before and young but now that I am older and many of the PUA's have guided me to this long time coming. I have gone into savagery mode before but I always didn't go over the hill. This time I will go over the hill and see what's in store.


Things are looking up. Just gotta face my fears and brace myself.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 2:10 am 
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Life Update:

Wow, I don't know where to start. I went and met up with my ex last night. Mind you that I don't do these kind of things often so I didn't know what to expect or feel when I saw her. When I saw her, I felt a little twinge but nothing I couldn't shake. I resumed my confident persona and led her to the bar. Here, I caught up with her and we talked about our past relationship and what we have been up to ever since. I told her honestly that I probably won't be monogamous for a long time. Right now, I am just in date mode.


She started to tell me about her dating life and almost started to talk about her past boyfriend but I told her that this part of the conversation isn't really interesting to me. She changed the subject. I actually had another girl lined up because I didn't know if she had a boyfriend at the time for me to F-close her. I got the hint when she started making physical advances on me. I brought it up and she told me was single. I told her that I didn't know that and the last time we talked she had a bf.

I also told her that i had another girl lined up later in the night and that she is my priority. However, now that I know that my ex is free I told her that maybe next time she will get lucky. Yes, I said that. The night ended when I told her I had to go meet up with this girl and that it was nice catching up. I kissed her and told her that I will talk to her later. She tried her emotional manipulation that worked on me couple of years ago but this time I saw it for what it was. I told her that I am not falling for it and I will see her another time.


I ended up with that other girl I told yall about. She fell off the map for a couple of months but I assume that the guy she was seeing didn't work out so back on my dick she goes.

3 Fuck buddies at the moment. But I don't stop looking. 2017 is my year. I will realize all my dreams. Health wise, career wise, and relationship wise.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:29 pm 
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So I did a thing-


I told the girl I have been seeing and who has been smoking me up that I can't be her boyfriend. She has brought it up to me a couple of times but I always got around it and never laid it out. Tonight however, I decided to tell her that I was moving to NYC at some point. Might be a year or two but I would like to spend time in another place. I told her that i couldn't give her the boyfriend status because that would be irresponsible of me when it comes to her happiness. I definitely told her i like hanging with her and spending time with her and that i care about her. If she wants to she can still come around since I am still here but I told her I support any decision she makes.

A part of me feels like it was a cop out. I am not monogamous anymore but I felt the NYC thing was a more of a sure thing. I am still 50/50% on monogamy and am unsure so I didn't tell her that. Only reason I could tell my ex about the monogomay thing is because she already heard that spiel from me during our relationship. I was a bit more comfortable telling her that officially. Either way, I handled that like I knew I would have to. A part of me hopes this girl sticks around because she is a kind, cute, and generous girl. Someone I like to spend time with until i move to nyc.

Another part of me feels relief that I avoided another relationship. I am growing and I feel like a relationship can't help me with that at the moment. I still have a lot of unlocked potential and i want to experience many things this year.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:02 am 
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It has been a long time since I written in this but here is the update-

I have managed to keep the girl that I told her I can't be her man in my life. She comes less to my crib but she knows what it is. I do like her though as she speaks to my introvert side of my personality. I am happy she stuck around. 2. I reconnected with my ex-girlfriend and we have been spending a night a week together. She clearly still likes me but I let her have it and told her what the business was.


This doesn't mean she doesn't try to manipulate me into caring for her more than I want to. I just remind her that this won't blossom into anything again and that she should let me know when she meets a man she wants to "date" and we can part ways again. I am getting my old mojo back.


3. I am currently working on my resume as I want to get a day job again since I am over the evening shift. However, I do not want to lose the pay I have now so I will be doing shopping.

4. I have been smoking some marijuana each day. I only smoke a bit and don't overdo. I have been successful in spacing out 60$ worth of weed over the month. I usually run out by the end of the third week. To balance this, I have cut back on drinking alcohol. I don't mind. Weed actually has been very relaxing and hopefully one day I can do this without worrying about my job finding out. I have also made a pact that once I am ready to start to apply for jobs i have to quit cold turkey for awhile so I can pass the drug test. I have everything under control and have to keep this pace up!

5. I have restarted gaming girls and adding new ones into my rotation. I noticed I got complacent with two girls and this made me lazy. Now, I am committing to gaming more girls to keep my skills, wit, and even health sharp. As I grow into the man I want, more girls will come to me.

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