I’ve met a girl, we’ve been on 6 dates, she has an ex-boyfriend of 4 years, she broke up with him after our third date, but still she is not able to move on emotionally (most likely). At 6th date she was sad and wanted to go home, I let her go and ever since she was distant but she did say she wants to meet me but later after some time, she kept saying “I am not feeling it now, I need time”. After couple days she had big argument with her ex-boyfriend and called me after it.
This is a red flag for me. I've slept with girls who were taken, and in some instances their emotional connections with their bf is very strong, like years strong. If a girl is only hitting me up when she and her bf fight, I simply won't let her fuck me, and I'll tell her exactly why: "I like strong, independent women, and your behavior right now is turning me off. Hit me up when you can stand on your own two feet." Sure, I won't get laid that night, but I'm setting a boundary and planting seeds for months down the road. And I'm conveying value.
Note: I live in a smaller mountain town, with a very bad ratio of men to women. Almost all the hot women are relationships. So sometimes a man has to pry a few away, lol.
In it she said she felt weak and unable to resist him but the interaction between them made her scream at him and avoid him.
Translation: "My bf is really good in bed, but he's an asshole".
That my friend, is a battle you will have a hard time winning.
Last time she said she has no time for next three days but said “lets text and see when”. Personally I had feeling she wanted to see me.
Translation: "You aren't my first choice, and I'm probably banging another guy while my bf goes on his one month fuck-fest".
After this schedule problem I went down to see her for just brief moment, she was surprised I came so she was hesitant, but I told her in excited voice to come down
Ugh. You became emotionally-uncentered, man. Why would you do this? I get that the girl is hot, but come on. Don't show up at her place unannounced unless you're in an exclusive relationship.
“If I destroyed any chances to see you again so be it, I needed to see you and I did it, I am not sorry, good night”
Why do guys do this?
You've known this woman for a couple weeks, and had sex ONE TIME. Why are you sending her Debbie Downer texts? Stop with the meta-relationship texts.
Women want fun, passion, and great sex. They want to live in the moment with their man and be freed from the mundane.
“don’t worry, I just hate hurting you as you could see how I was behaving” I replayed “nah you are not”.
She's acting like the man. Look at the words I bolded. She's talking to you like a father talks to a child.
My thoughts :
I guess she is trying to find out if her past relationship is gonna survive, she is waiting for her ex-boyfriend to give up on her. How should I behave during this time? wait with no contact ? be friend? not be friend? tell her to make that step to break up?
I am confused now.
1. after twice being refused to meet (because she needed time and is not feeling it) should I ask her out again? (personally I'd like to ask her out but I feel now little hesitant as I feel I will be rejected again)
No, don't ask her out again. Wait for her to contact you.
5. should I tell her I feel confused and ask her what is happening?
Definitely NOT this beta shit. Women will pull back on purpose or subconsciously to test a man's emotional stability. 95% of men wil text back "what's wrong?" "Are you mad?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Let's talk".
These are emotionally-uncentered men with no options conveying low value. It's TOO EARLY in the courtship to send negative emotional texts like that. This should be EASY and FUN. That is seduction. If there are negative emotions early, imagine what it would be like 6 months down the road. Hot women intuitively feel this out, and will simply blow guys off in a second if they get that vibe.
I am asking because I would like to know what a smart guy would do, I am not able to know which way to go as I am very deeply involved and I know it is bad.
Look my friend, I have been here. All of us more advanced posters have fucked up many times. It's how you learn and you grow.
This woman is disrespecting you, and making you her bitch. Literally. She loves the attention you give her.
Your biggest problem isn't the boyfriend. In fact, you glossed over what the problem is. You had sex with her one time, and she apparently does not want more.
You weren't dominant/good enough in the sack.
If you were, she'd be blowing up your phone to see you.
You have to pull away. Just disappear. Go out and sleep with a few 5's and 6's and practice your bedroom game. Show passion, lead, be rough, and make girls orgasm. When you do this, they will want to spend time with you.
Right now, this woman can feel your weakness like a wet blanket all over her. Pull back.