Girl broke up with her bf


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:30 am 
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I need advice. Last year a very close friend of mine introduced me to one of her friends from uni (we go to the same one but different classes). She was in a long time relationship (2+ years) and started talking with me one night at some party. She was showing some IOIs to me and asked for my number for "lending me stuff" from some subjects. I never texted her but started hanging out with her at times getting back from a lesson, sharing a bus, etc. Not every day but still.

Then one day she texted me, and we talked a lot. She texted me very often after that, so I texted her sometimes. Then one day she asked me to go with her alone someday to an exam she needed to do and have some coffee afterwards, etc. but she said people who cheated were silly. Then after that we went to a party and she was quite drunk and her bf being there and all, she danced with me all night and we had a lot of fun, hugged, said "she loved me" (not necessarily in a romantic way) and even made plans to go smoke some mj some day to chill. After that she kept texting me but we never did hang out. One time I asked her of doing something together and she said it would be weird to do something alone the two of us (this was in december) and I said no I meant with our mutual friend, cause your bf would get mad. Then we each went on holidays but she kept texting me every once in a while. This month we havent talked as much, but she did text me last week. Yesterday I texted her and she told me she had broken up with her boyfriend. We didnt talk much about that and then we talked normally of other silly stuff as usual, but always having fun.

Now, what am I supposed to do? I'm not sure if I'm friendzoned as fuck or not. I mean we shared some lessons and she'd sit next to me and be very close, even touching and all, we've hung out together out of her will, she texts me often (not everyday, and most of the times with some "excuse"). If she hadn't been in a relationship I would have seriously thought she was into me. We never talked about her bf or any of her guy problems. We got to know each other and stuff. But she was always in a relationship and seemed to be just fine, she never showed signs of not loving him, just confusing stuff towards me. But she had a bf. Now she's free. How should I play this? Or should I give up? She did say she would smoke mj tomorrow but didnt know what she would do (maybe go to our mutual friends), but we haven't made any plans together.

I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obssessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.

Thanks!

TLDR: girl i fancied broke up with her bf some days ago, not sure what to do next, neither if im friendzoned, nor how long to wait and stuff.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 2:34 pm 
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You're only in the 'Friend Zone' when you choose to be. The friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a sexual relationship, while the other is not aware or just does not.

If you never make a move, or take a risk she'll never be aware. That's choosing to be in there.

If you DO make a move, and she rejects your advances yet you remain in the friendship, you again chose to be there as well.

Does this mean profess your undying love? NO!

Don’t scare her away.

You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her.

Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want.
That is perfectly fine.
But, don’t let her know you want more than that.

To do this you need to know how to flirt with women.

Quote:
I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obsessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.


I call bullshit. You're contradicting yourself, after writing a mini novel asking "How to get her", you can't turn around claim indifference.

Your goal shouldn't be "How do I form a loving relationship with her?"

It NEEDS to be "How do I get in her pants?".

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 6:02 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
You're only in the 'Friend Zone' when you choose to be. The friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a sexual relationship, while the other is not aware or just does not.

If you never make a move, or take a risk she'll never be aware. That's choosing to be in there.

If you DO make a move, and she rejects your advances yet you remain in the friendship, you again chose to be there as well.

Does this mean profess your undying love? NO!

Don’t scare her away.

You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her.

Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want.
That is perfectly fine.
But, don’t let her know you want more than that.

To do this you need to know how to flirt with women.

Quote:
I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obsessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.


I call bullshit. You're contradicting yourself, after writing a mini novel asking "How to get her", you can't turn around claim indifference.

Your goal shouldn't be "How do I form a loving relationship with her?"

It NEEDS to be "How do I get in her pants?".


Thanks for your answer. Although I haven't dated many women, I do have dated some. I was actually going out with one last year but I decided to dump her after a while haha.

The only reason I'm making a thread is because of how weird this situation is. If she had been available from the beginning, I would have obviously flirted hard and I'm sure we would have gone out already, or she would have rejected me. Either way our relationship would have been different.
I'm asking for advice because this situation is different. Usually I approach, talk for a while, get number and date. But here, we were just hanging out at a social meeting (even her bf was there but didnt seem to pay attention) and this girl was obviously looking for my attention. She gave me her number, texted me, talked to me at university, etc. Then we had alone time and all. I did show her many hints in our conversations and at the party (everybody realised what was going on) and again, I had the feeling we would have been making out that night if it weren't because of her bf.

But suddenly she's free and I must go from fun conversations to going out. I wanna know what's the best path and schedule to go for this. Thanks.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 6:36 pm 
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Quote:
Although I haven't dated many women,


Noted.

Quote:
The only reason I'm making a thread is because of how weird this situation is.


It's not weird, or unusual at at, it's way common.

Quote:
I'm asking for advice because this situation is different.


Different how? Because she was with someone else at the time she showed interest? Being the stand-up guy you are you decided not to pursue at that time?

Bullshit, you took her number and was contacting her right?

Quote:
Then we had alone time and all. I did show her many hints in our conversations and at the party (everybody realized what was going on) and again, I had the feeling we would have been making out that night if it weren't because of her bf.


She didn't realize nor did her boyfriend, but "everyone else" did? Having a struggle wrapping my head around that.

Quote:
But suddenly she's free and I must go from fun conversations to going out. I wanna know what's the best path and schedule to go for this. Thanks.

The best "schedule" is right fucking now Bro. Flirt hard, get her alone, escalate.

Send her this...

"Everything about you turns me on…I just cant get the thought of you out of my head!"

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 1:52 am 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Quote:
Although I haven't dated many women,


Noted.

Quote:
The only reason I'm making a thread is because of how weird this situation is.


It's not weird, or unusual at at, it's way common.

Quote:
I'm asking for advice because this situation is different.


Different how? Because she was with someone else at the time she showed interest? Being the stand-up guy you are you decided not to pursue at that time?

Bullshit, you took her number and was contacting her right?

Quote:
Then we had alone time and all. I did show her many hints in our conversations and at the party (everybody realized what was going on) and again, I had the feeling we would have been making out that night if it weren't because of her bf.


She didn't realize nor did her boyfriend, but "everyone else" did? Having a struggle wrapping my head around that.

Quote:
But suddenly she's free and I must go from fun conversations to going out. I wanna know what's the best path and schedule to go for this. Thanks.

The best "schedule" is right fucking now Bro. Flirt hard, get her alone, escalate.

Send her this...

"Everything about you turns me on…I just cant get the thought of you out of my head!"


I've never been in a situation where a woman approaches me with her bf around. She gave me her number, but I didnt text her. She texted me anyway and texted me first 90% of the time. Now I'm gonna see her tonight at our friend's house probably.

It's different as in I approach girls first and always when they're single. I've never been "approached" by a girl with bf, who shows signs of interest and uninterest at the same time, and now she's free.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:56 pm 
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Luxemburg wrote:
and now she's free.


Then escalate, isolate, bone her. Stop all the over thinking.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 4:36 am 
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Girls that just got out a relationship are the highest on the scale of girls that are looking for love. Followed by backpackers and flight attendants.

Don't over think it, just put yourself in a situation where good things will happen. Don't talk about the past just have a few drinks, have fun, and it will all take care of itself.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:00 am 
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It looks like she's into you. Dancing with you, while her boyfriend is there is a major IOI. Next time you see her, don't get over your head. Just ask her out!

You're so going to lay this down! Lol


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:53 pm 
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Luxemburg wrote:
I need advice. Last year a very close friend of mine introduced me to one of her friends from uni (we go to the same one but different classes). She was in a long time relationship (2+ years) and started talking with me one night at some party. She was showing some IOIs to me and asked for my number for "lending me stuff" from some subjects. I never texted her but started hanging out with her at times getting back from a lesson, sharing a bus, etc. Not every day but still.

Then one day she texted me, and we talked a lot. She texted me very often after that, so I texted her sometimes. Then one day she asked me to go with her alone someday to an exam she needed to do and have some coffee afterwards, etc. but she said people who cheated were silly. Then after that we went to a party and she was quite drunk and her bf being there and all, she danced with me all night and we had a lot of fun, hugged, said "she loved me" (not necessarily in a romantic way) and even made plans to go smoke some mj some day to chill. After that she kept texting me but we never did hang out. One time I asked her of doing something together and she said it would be weird to do something alone the two of us (this was in december) and I said no I meant with our mutual friend, cause your bf would get mad. Then we each went on holidays but she kept texting me every once in a while. This month we havent talked as much, but she did text me last week. Yesterday I texted her and she told me she had broken up with her boyfriend. We didnt talk much about that and then we talked normally of other silly stuff as usual, but always having fun.

Now, what am I supposed to do? I'm not sure if I'm friendzoned as fuck or not. I mean we shared some lessons and she'd sit next to me and be very close, even touching and all, we've hung out together out of her will, she texts me often (not everyday, and most of the times with some "excuse"). If she hadn't been in a relationship I would have seriously thought she was into me. We never talked about her bf or any of her guy problems. We got to know each other and stuff. But she was always in a relationship and seemed to be just fine, she never showed signs of not loving him, just confusing stuff towards me. But she had a bf. Now she's free. How should I play this? Or should I give up? She did say she would smoke mj tomorrow but didnt know what she would do (maybe go to our mutual friends), but we haven't made any plans together.

I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obssessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.

Thanks!

TLDR: girl i fancied broke up with her bf some days ago, not sure what to do next, neither if im friendzoned, nor how long to wait and stuff.


Hey if you're free.. Im willing to discuss this situation with you through Skype Audio Chat. I'll give you a 15-20 mins session free of charge.

Just add me on Skype under " EddieFews " and send me a message letting me know its you and we'll get started.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:24 pm 
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This is a great question! I am in a similar situation. I think a lot of people don't seem to get this either. The point is we would have more openly hit on her if the girl was single, but she had a bf. You inevitably become friends if you hit it off. And then later on, whether it be weeks or years later, she becomes single. So at this point what do you do right?

I am wondering too. Obviously generic advice like the person who replied here acting all "alpha" is useless as we aren't talking about flirting with a stranger or "nexting". Such advice merely shows those people didn't read or don't know and don't want to admit it (i.e. they are not as alpha as they claim!).

I also wonder what to do about this. I guess you have to flirt, that's for sure. In your case, you are lucky in that she has flirted already and seems interested. You push for a 1 on 1 meet to gauge interest. If there is no distance involved, it makes it much easier. I have a worse problem of a great girl who seemed interested too. But it's been a few years now and we don't live in the same city. She's single, but when she's visiting, she keeps wanting to see friends and doesn't get I want to see her and just her. Or else I get pressured via WhatsApp groups etc to come to some group event (so far I have resisted and said I'm busy.

One thing i note is some girls flirt, and then when it comes down to meeting, suddenly become flakey, which doesn't make sense if they are demonstrating interest. Drives me round the bend. On the other hand, when I wasn't even trying and didn't know a different girl had become single, she agreed within a few texts to meet me 1 on 1. So I really don't know what to suggest. It seems like blind luck and catching a girl when she isn't in a mood.

It does seem wrong and unfair though that a guy she clicks with, has to jump through hoops now she's single versus a brand new guy who wouldn't be drawn into some social circle gathering. If you work out what to do, then please do advise me though please!!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:54 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
You're only in the 'Friend Zone' when you choose to be. The friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a sexual relationship, while the other is not aware or just does not.

If you never make a move, or take a risk she'll never be aware. That's choosing to be in there.

If you DO make a move, and she rejects your advances yet you remain in the friendship, you again chose to be there as well.

Does this mean profess your undying love? NO!

Don’t scare her away.

You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her.

Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want.
That is perfectly fine.
But, don’t let her know you want more than that.

To do this you need to know how to flirt with women.

Quote:
I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obsessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.


I call bullshit. You're contradicting yourself, after writing a mini novel asking "How to get her", you can't turn around claim indifference.

Your goal shouldn't be "How do I form a loving relationship with her?"

It NEEDS to be "How do I get in her pants?".


I have a similar conundrum. Can you advise me?? I mean I met a girl at university who had a boyfriend who seemed to think highly of me and showed interest. At the time I was more nervous around women and also concerned about passing my final exams lol. But either way she kept in touch and seemed to like me. Even though she seems to make lots of friends, I did feel like there was more of a rapport between us even though I spent less time with her and didn't do all the fb stuff everyone else does (in fact I'm not even on it now). Once she asked me to show her how to bowl/skate at this group activity (good sign right?) of all the guys there. I flirted, but lightly given her relationship status. It's actually been 3 years now where she actually emigrated with him after graduating. She occasionally visited here and I met up (as part of a group, save for 1 occasion where I met her alone and discovered she was single, but had no place to go and bang, not to mention she was only seeing me before going to see her folks).

Now she has actually moved back here. One thing is she is incredibly enthusiastic in texting, sometimes excited, long texts. Then recently she became less prompt time wise, but obviously read it (WhatsApp blue ticks), yet long responses. But I felt pretty disrespected.

I have the attitude of "I WANT TO BANG HER" that you talked about. But it's a question of logistics. See she lives in city C. I live in small town B. The capital is city A where other friends also live.

It's easiest for me to commute to the capital A. Trouble is I am trying to see her alone and at least flirt/convey I like her and touch her more now. She keeps talking about meeting up and even throws in the whole "hope i can see you soon"/"Hope to see u soon" often. Asks me when I'm free. I actually did agree and said let's grab food, what's her schedule like", once when I had got back from a work trip. Yet got blanked for the first time ever. For a month. She has NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. So f**king rude of her. She actually gave some weird response and acted like it was totally normal just asking me how I am and saying work is busy. Yeah that's bs. I responded about a week later, making a light joke of it and said another time maybe. This time she responded fast, sent some insanely long message about enjoying her new job etc blah blah. I don't buy the busy thing though, my job is much busier and my other life and yet I will reply to friends or lovers promptly.

She still kept asking me questions etc. And texted me to let me know she would be in city A at a certain date (but far in the future). I wasn't sure in case it was a group thing, so asked what she was there for, she gave some response a week later! Very weird given she usually responds within about 60 seconds or few hours at most. And certainly only BLUETICKS my message when she is going to reply. Not what she was doing now and blueticking and responding later. Her last seen time updates btw on WhatsApp.

Anyhow I said yeah and threw in let's do something the two of us. I actually didn't initiate new years wishes this time and she did, she even flirted by text too. Trouble was when it came to the proposed meet date, a few weeks before, some friend (who I barely know, she's her friend) set up a group chat and asked who's free to meet the girl. In the event of 10 people, only the original sender was free.

So i had to contend with that nonsense (which I basically ignored until I was directly asked if I was free about 2 weeks later) and trying to arrange a solo meet directly by text. But the girl having been so excited asked me twice about don't I want to see the others. In the end, having told her twice, I acquiesced only once I asked my uncle indirectly for some advice (I'm currently looking after him as he is sick, that's why I moved out of the city), who said be sociable and go for a group thing. I figured I might get to see her alone afterward. So acquiesced in the group chat. Partly because I'm also flirting with another girl who was in there and who I've met alone and didn't want to look unsociable by not replying at all to a direct question.

In any case, the girl then flaked and she's never done that to me ever in all the years I knew her, by suddenly asking me what I think of visiting this other friend in her town (further out for me than city A). I thought at this point, is she mad??! I gave her one last chance and asked her what time she's going there, trying to figure out how to just meet her separately or at worst some group meet back in the city afterward (which I was not keen on). No response not only from her but the other girl either other than a new group chat for us 3 and more gibberish about the same so called plan (with no time).

In the end, I just messaged both the group chat and my girl, saying go ahead I'll see you some other time. I ignored her response (first time I ever did that) asking me why in the group chat (not directly to me where she just sent a sad face crying). She ended up organising another group event this time messaging the group, not me about who's free. I said I wasn't. Even when asked weeks later and just before directly, I said, I'm busy, I'll see you another day. But one thing was that she actually messaged the group for a holiday, and specifically mentioned me with a wink face saying I know you're having a good time. It was an inside joke between us about being up to mischief. I replied there to wish everyone and privately messaged her a flirty thing. No response. But like I said on new year's, last year and many other times before that she has flirted (even when she had a bf) back. She did the same for my birthday in january, but messaged me on the group chat for some reason?! Wtf. But still a flirty message.

I'm in the process of meeting a different mutual female friend soon. Again distance is an issue since she lives with her folks outside city A where I see her. No real place to bang, but I enjoy her company. I actually met her when my original proposal to meet the girl fell through and we had a good time, might even have been a date come to think of it, though I hadn't known she was single till I met her and found out! This other girl kept playing with her hair and laughing (I kept thinking she must sound great in bed) and I flirted with a sexual line too at one point. Sadly she went on a long holiday to see her grandparents in asia, but I am trying to arrange to see her now she's back when I have a free weekend (my work is pretty busy).

As for the original girl, I wished her happy birthday on the the 17th of feb to which she replied within 30 minutes enthusiastically and saying hope she sees me soon, (and had sent some valentine msg, perhaps that was an error but never mind, she did reply, though a day later sigh with a long response). This time I didn't respond to that and left it at that.

I'm currently wondering what to do in terms of whether to text her or how to respond how to meet her alone. Like I said, she does flirt and she does seem to be sweet toward me. A bit of cheekiness in flirting sometimes (with the troublemaker thing). I haven't typed all the texts she sent, and I am weary you may simply say she is not flirting. But you have to take my word for it, that she is very friendly and too friendly to me to simply be disinterested completely. It's just it's so mixed. I feel like there is something there sometimes and other times not. I flirted, and maybe got carried away given she is single. I wish she had been single when I had my bachelor pad in city A or when we met so logistics were better. But it's crazy.

I don't buy the blueticking me on WhatsApp and being busy if her last seen updates. Also that she doesn't always respond late, only when it comes to logistics??! Yet her responses are so long and excited??! Other times she responds faster than when I can type (literally last year she came online WhatsApp before I could respond to her text fully!!). Another time last year, she had this slightly flirty and meaningful conversation (whilst she was abroad and texting me at 1am her timezone) about her new job and moving back here etc.

Wish I knew what to do or how to bang. I mean the other girl responds when she reads (so she may bluetick me either a few hours or day later, but replies then. She doesn't read me and ignore or delay). The other one seems flirty, but is so bubbly it's hard to tell. But she went with the solo meet with no question asked. This girl seems to want to see me, flirt and plan just with me, but when it comes to coming to city A, suddenly I'm the optional extra??? WTF?

Please advise? Also pls note these are both innocent girls who are fun (I IMAGINE THEM TO BE VERY DIRTY AND WANT THEM TO BE WITH ME), but innocent in public who have had only 1 bf and from fairly traditional asian families. I do flirt and am known to be a GENUINE gentle guy who is very fun and very flirty. But I generally keep private and don't share my information about dating etc with everyone on fb etc.

What to do about both girls, especially sweet girl turned insane?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 4:22 pm 
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GenuineGuy wrote:

What to do about both girls, especially sweet girl turned insane?


You should start your own thread.

Stop walking on eggshells around women. Clearly and boldly show your intentions with both of them. Your not doing that.

You also need to set up logistics for fucking. That's your job. Whether a coat closet or car seat, or fancy hotel. They wont mind as long as you lead.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 4:27 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
GenuineGuy wrote:

What to do about both girls, especially sweet girl turned insane?


You should start your own thread.

Stop walking on eggshells around women. Clearly and boldly show your intentions with both of them. Your not doing that.

You also need to set up logistics for fucking. That's your job. Whether a coat closet or car seat, or fancy hotel. They wont mind as long as you lead.


Yeah I will start my own thread. I started to ask you something and realized I had to add details.

I don't walk on eggshells lol, did you read what I wrote????!

Yeah I get the logistics thing. At this point though it is about conveying interest first and meeting them 1 on 1 ALONE. With one girl , I did the same thing and met her alone. The other who seemed far more invested etc it got messed up.

If you actually read my story, then please cite what you are referring to without making blanket statements about my lack of doing things lol. Specific situations require SPECIFIC advice.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 5:10 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
GenuineGuy wrote:

What to do about both girls, especially sweet girl turned insane?


You should start your own thread.

Stop walking on eggshells around women. Clearly and boldly show your intentions with both of them. Your not doing that.

You also need to set up logistics for fucking. That's your job. Whether a coat closet or car seat, or fancy hotel. They wont mind as long as you lead.



I don't think you read my points lol, as clearly I am not like that. Either way, here is my thread: mid-game/female-friends-who-became-single-broke-with-boyfriends-vt202092.html


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 5:25 pm 
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Quote:
If you actually read my story, then please cite what you are referring to without making blanket statements about my lack of doing things lol. Specific situations require SPECIFIC advice
.

Yeah, I did read the whole thing. How 'bout thank you?

Send girl #1 "Every time I close my eyes…I see you naked…just so ya know…I'd like seeing you naked with my eyes open even more!!"

Girl#2 "If you were here right now I’d take your pants off with my teeth and . . . I’ll just let you finish that sentence with whatever you want."


Is that specific enough for you Bro?

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