Girl broke up with her bf



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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:30 am 
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I need advice. Last year a very close friend of mine introduced me to one of her friends from uni (we go to the same one but different classes). She was in a long time relationship (2+ years) and started talking with me one night at some party. She was showing some IOIs to me and asked for my number for "lending me stuff" from some subjects. I never texted her but started hanging out with her at times getting back from a lesson, sharing a bus, etc. Not every day but still.

Then one day she texted me, and we talked a lot. She texted me very often after that, so I texted her sometimes. Then one day she asked me to go with her alone someday to an exam she needed to do and have some coffee afterwards, etc. but she said people who cheated were silly. Then after that we went to a party and she was quite drunk and her bf being there and all, she danced with me all night and we had a lot of fun, hugged, said "she loved me" (not necessarily in a romantic way) and even made plans to go smoke some mj some day to chill. After that she kept texting me but we never did hang out. One time I asked her of doing something together and she said it would be weird to do something alone the two of us (this was in december) and I said no I meant with our mutual friend, cause your bf would get mad. Then we each went on holidays but she kept texting me every once in a while. This month we havent talked as much, but she did text me last week. Yesterday I texted her and she told me she had broken up with her boyfriend. We didnt talk much about that and then we talked normally of other silly stuff as usual, but always having fun.

Now, what am I supposed to do? I'm not sure if I'm friendzoned as fuck or not. I mean we shared some lessons and she'd sit next to me and be very close, even touching and all, we've hung out together out of her will, she texts me often (not everyday, and most of the times with some "excuse"). If she hadn't been in a relationship I would have seriously thought she was into me. We never talked about her bf or any of her guy problems. We got to know each other and stuff. But she was always in a relationship and seemed to be just fine, she never showed signs of not loving him, just confusing stuff towards me. But she had a bf. Now she's free. How should I play this? Or should I give up? She did say she would smoke mj tomorrow but didnt know what she would do (maybe go to our mutual friends), but we haven't made any plans together.

I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obssessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.

Thanks!

TLDR: girl i fancied broke up with her bf some days ago, not sure what to do next, neither if im friendzoned, nor how long to wait and stuff.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 2:34 pm 
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You're only in the 'Friend Zone' when you choose to be. The friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a sexual relationship, while the other is not aware or just does not.

If you never make a move, or take a risk she'll never be aware. That's choosing to be in there.

If you DO make a move, and she rejects your advances yet you remain in the friendship, you again chose to be there as well.

Does this mean profess your undying love? NO!

Don’t scare her away.

You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her.

Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want.
That is perfectly fine.
But, don’t let her know you want more than that.

To do this you need to know how to flirt with women.

Quote:
I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obsessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.


I call bullshit. You're contradicting yourself, after writing a mini novel asking "How to get her", you can't turn around claim indifference.

Your goal shouldn't be "How do I form a loving relationship with her?"

It NEEDS to be "How do I get in her pants?".

_________________
In the hands of the right man, a woman is a 100 different women, limited only by imagination and his willingness to make her feel safe and lead her.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 6:02 pm 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
You're only in the 'Friend Zone' when you choose to be. The friend zone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a sexual relationship, while the other is not aware or just does not.

If you never make a move, or take a risk she'll never be aware. That's choosing to be in there.

If you DO make a move, and she rejects your advances yet you remain in the friendship, you again chose to be there as well.

Does this mean profess your undying love? NO!

Don’t scare her away.

You HAVE to let her know you are attracted to her.

Express your sexual intent and attraction all you want.
That is perfectly fine.
But, don’t let her know you want more than that.

To do this you need to know how to flirt with women.

Quote:
I haven't put her on a pedestal either, it's not like I'm obsessed, I always fancied her but I was aware she was in a relationship so tried not to hit on her much out of respect, and never being sure what was on her mind either.


I call bullshit. You're contradicting yourself, after writing a mini novel asking "How to get her", you can't turn around claim indifference.

Your goal shouldn't be "How do I form a loving relationship with her?"

It NEEDS to be "How do I get in her pants?".


Thanks for your answer. Although I haven't dated many women, I do have dated some. I was actually going out with one last year but I decided to dump her after a while haha.

The only reason I'm making a thread is because of how weird this situation is. If she had been available from the beginning, I would have obviously flirted hard and I'm sure we would have gone out already, or she would have rejected me. Either way our relationship would have been different.
I'm asking for advice because this situation is different. Usually I approach, talk for a while, get number and date. But here, we were just hanging out at a social meeting (even her bf was there but didnt seem to pay attention) and this girl was obviously looking for my attention. She gave me her number, texted me, talked to me at university, etc. Then we had alone time and all. I did show her many hints in our conversations and at the party (everybody realised what was going on) and again, I had the feeling we would have been making out that night if it weren't because of her bf.

But suddenly she's free and I must go from fun conversations to going out. I wanna know what's the best path and schedule to go for this. Thanks.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2017 6:36 pm 
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Quote:
Although I haven't dated many women,


Noted.

Quote:
The only reason I'm making a thread is because of how weird this situation is.


It's not weird, or unusual at at, it's way common.

Quote:
I'm asking for advice because this situation is different.


Different how? Because she was with someone else at the time she showed interest? Being the stand-up guy you are you decided not to pursue at that time?

Bullshit, you took her number and was contacting her right?

Quote:
Then we had alone time and all. I did show her many hints in our conversations and at the party (everybody realized what was going on) and again, I had the feeling we would have been making out that night if it weren't because of her bf.


She didn't realize nor did her boyfriend, but "everyone else" did? Having a struggle wrapping my head around that.

Quote:
But suddenly she's free and I must go from fun conversations to going out. I wanna know what's the best path and schedule to go for this. Thanks.

The best "schedule" is right fucking now Bro. Flirt hard, get her alone, escalate.

Send her this...

"Everything about you turns me on…I just cant get the thought of you out of my head!"

_________________
In the hands of the right man, a woman is a 100 different women, limited only by imagination and his willingness to make her feel safe and lead her.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 1:52 am 
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Heywood Jablowme wrote:
Quote:
Although I haven't dated many women,


Noted.

Quote:
The only reason I'm making a thread is because of how weird this situation is.


It's not weird, or unusual at at, it's way common.

Quote:
I'm asking for advice because this situation is different.


Different how? Because she was with someone else at the time she showed interest? Being the stand-up guy you are you decided not to pursue at that time?

Bullshit, you took her number and was contacting her right?

Quote:
Then we had alone time and all. I did show her many hints in our conversations and at the party (everybody realized what was going on) and again, I had the feeling we would have been making out that night if it weren't because of her bf.


She didn't realize nor did her boyfriend, but "everyone else" did? Having a struggle wrapping my head around that.

Quote:
But suddenly she's free and I must go from fun conversations to going out. I wanna know what's the best path and schedule to go for this. Thanks.

The best "schedule" is right fucking now Bro. Flirt hard, get her alone, escalate.

Send her this...

"Everything about you turns me on…I just cant get the thought of you out of my head!"


I've never been in a situation where a woman approaches me with her bf around. She gave me her number, but I didnt text her. She texted me anyway and texted me first 90% of the time. Now I'm gonna see her tonight at our friend's house probably.

It's different as in I approach girls first and always when they're single. I've never been "approached" by a girl with bf, who shows signs of interest and uninterest at the same time, and now she's free.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:56 pm 
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Luxemburg wrote:
and now she's free.


Then escalate, isolate, bone her. Stop all the over thinking.

_________________
In the hands of the right man, a woman is a 100 different women, limited only by imagination and his willingness to make her feel safe and lead her.


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