What do you guys think is the issue with men who can't?



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 8:23 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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It's strange to witness how many guys are actually out there who devote so much time to prove why they can't attract a girl at all.

Reading what some of these guys think of themselves, of women, and of the whole dynamic between men and women is pretty fucked up times.

Reading all of the excuses they have, all of the prejudices against others, their victim mentalities, their hatred, and their frustration, makes me wonder what these guys are like in real life.

They end up here and start looking for ways to improve themselves ,and tossing the free advice away to prove to themselves and others that getting into a real relationship with a girl, for them is impossible?

When to us it seems that if they listened, and applied themselves and actually do it they could easily and quickly reverse the situation.

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Last edited by Heywood Jablowme on Mon Jan 16, 2017 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 8:42 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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It's easier on the ego to complain about why you can't be successful than it is to go out there and and risk a rejection. These guys can't be helped until they hit rock bottom like a drug addict.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 9:04 am 
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Because they're weak. You said it yourself, victim mentality.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:25 pm 
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The worst part is..

You image the guys on the forum being some guys that you would never actually run into in real life. They're just names on the internet, but these are your normal everyday guys. Most of these things which are never spoken about openly and so no one would ever know. No one runs around ranting about how they can't get a girl, they smile, pretend they got it figured out and keep on pushing. This is the one place they can actually let it all out.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:58 pm 
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Sadly, some of them are just not willing to make the changes necessary in their lives to get the girl. They come up with every excuse in the book, but in the end, its just themselves, holding themselves, back.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 6:17 pm 
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Not everyone can be helped.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:23 pm 
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Advice isn't always great. New guys need structure, and goals where some users prefer to talk in the abstract.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:18 am 
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The situation you describe is one which many people suffer from (prob myself included) called 'Psychological reversal'.
It's a subconscious condition of self-sabotage. You make choices that bring you a feeling of low instead of well-being and the happiness you think you want.
Sometimes, it's like you are scratching an itch to tell yourself/the world/ - that life isn't fair to you and 'see I told you.. I can do it'. Whether its a pre-programmed or accumulated through experience, I don't know, but it's very real.

I read a quote today from Amit Singh (head of google) who said (something like this) a man's happiness is not defined by what he has in life, but his attitude to whatever he has.

The solution in this scenario is not gaming girls or earning lots of money. It's working on yourself to the point that you believe you are good enough and happy with who you are/what you have. When you like yourself, then approaching is a different game as many of you probably know already.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 6:27 pm 
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I would consider myself a guy that's hit rock bottom. I'm 44 now. I've always been clueless with women and had opportunities to get with some stunners in the past but fucked it up by being too nervous/scared. It was a running joke with my friends that we went into 'little boy mode' (LBM) when faced with the chance of banging a hot chick. So I've basically banged 4's and 5's who were just happy to have attention from a man. Any man. And I've had 2 relationships, one lasting 7 years and the other 10. So for 17 years I've had my head down in relationships hiding from that fact I'm hopeless with women.

So 2 months ago I left my girlfriend and moved out of our house. We hadn't had sex for over a year and I didn't even have the balls to own my sexual needs with her. She wanted it but was scared to initiate out of fear of rejection. And I was basically the same until I got to the point where I lost attraction for her and didn't want sex anyway. It's a sad/ridiculous story I know, and if you met me you would never guess. I'm so good at hiding my feelings and pretending I have life figured out, that this kind of stuff I would never speak about to anyone. Not my partner, my best friend or even family. I keep it all hidden, completely to myself and just act cool, calm and collected.

I think it all goes back to childhood with all of us guys. School can be a really cruel place and taunts, especially from girls can cut deep and we learn to build a wall to protect ourselves. I had crazy crooked teeth at school and girls called me ugly. So I've always felt ugly and disgusting. It's true I'm not the best looking guy, I would say I'm maybe a 4 or a 5 on a good day. But I've had chances with some hot chicks down the years, 8s and 9s, so they must have seen something in me. But I played it cool and blew them off preferring a nice comfortable 4 or 5.

But the truth is, despite the deep rooted feeling that i'm ugly and disgusting, that's not been the biggest issue. I have literally been clueless about what to do with a girl. I was never taught by anyone, and never asked for advice as I was too busy acting like I knew it all. It's only been in the last 2 months where I've Googled what to do with women that I've discovered all this stuff about attraction. It's literally blown my brain to pieces and now I see with clarity. I thought you could win a girl over by being 'nice'. I thought you had to be good looking.

The first advice I found was from Dan Bacon, The Flow and I was like, holy crap, so that's what it's all about, now it makes sense! Jesus fucking Christ!

Then I discovered David Deangelo and was like yeah he's so right, cocky funny.

I've watched virtually every video on YouTube by David Snyder, RSD, Corey Wayne, Ross Jeffries, David Deangelo and countless others. I've read The Game and multiple other books. My brain is like a sponge and my eyes are now wide open to what women want/need in a man.

My problem now is APPLYING it. After 44 years of darkness and crawling on my knees it's hard to stand up and face the light. I need to get a handle on it which is why I left my girlfriend of 10 years and why I'm typing this on a PUA forum, alone in an empty flat on a Friday night, in a town where I don't know anyone and haven't got a friend to turn to.

I know this post is huge but I wanted to give some perspective on how a guy can get into the position of being someone that you guys baffle over. I would like to think I can find the balls to apply the advice you guys give. It's not easy letting go of a lifetime of fear. My head tells me I should, my heart tells me I should, but it's as if my biology/physiology/nervous system is working against me and wanting me to fail.

I really hope I can do some field reports and show you guys who have been so helpful in dispensing excellent advice, that a guy like me can turn it around.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 7:19 pm 
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If your philosophy, opinion, belief, or whatever focuses more on what you are doing wrong than what you are doing right, you might be doing it wrong.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 7:56 pm 
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DJ_Z wrote:
Advice isn't always great. New guys need structure, and goals where some users prefer to talk in the abstract.



I'd have to agree on the structure and goals dilemma most of these guys have. Some of these guys just think the advice we give them will make their problems go away but they don't really understand how it will help them. They just think it's like a button they can push and they are supposed to be don juan overnight. My roommate was self-defeating for a couple of months but I offered my advice and I told him to stay positive and work on his goals.


Now he's lost 15 pounds, banged 3 chicks in 2 months and is getting opened by girls at the bar. He is loving life. All it takes is some patience, some guidance, and throwing them into the deep end of the pool. Sink or swim.

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