What are your inner problems(list them here and talk)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:00 pm 
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Interesting to see that im not alone with my problems. And i thought i was the only one with these problems:

1.) Im a typical nice guy. Im great with all girls even the very hot ones but i find it very difficult to act like a fucking
man who does not want to be friends with girls...
2.) Since im very inexperienced i struggle to make the first move. Im confident as fuck dont get me wrong. But i just
cant go for the kiss. Its literally scares the shit out of me.
3.) Because i never had a girl and every girl i was into basically gave me the "lets just be friends" speech i deep down
believe that no girl out there can ever do more than just like me as a friend.
4.) I overthink everything. I basically cant enjoy the moment with a girl because im always at least 2 steps ahead and
plan everything as good as possible. In my head i always say to myself "What if this happens, what if that happens
what if she does this and that...."
5.) I sometimes tend to be to emotional. I literally act like a woman sometimes. Maybe thats because i was raised by
my mother alone and i never had this manly figure in my life.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 6:30 am 
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Surprised to see a post from 2007 still active. Anyways I'm new to this and at first my problem was approach anxiety but I did a few approaches during the day with direct openers, like the ones preached by Jeremy soul. After the last approach I haven't done any because it went horribly wrong. I went and complimented the girl on her looks and asked for her name. She started walking away slowly and said "I don't have a name". Now I know you guys are gonna say get over it and just go back in field. But I'm sure almost all of you guys have gone through something like this at first and wanted to know what got you guys through it.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 10:55 pm 
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JTQatar wrote:
Interesting to see that im not alone with my problems. And i thought i was the only one with these problems:


Reading your list and I can definitely relate to most of it. Most of mine are probably all related to each other though.

1. I over think which causes many issues.
2. I'm shy to start off and take a while to get comfortable in a new environment
3. When you combine 1+2 you get a bit of anxiety when in a loud crowded area
4. Low self esteem - Because I over think, I became very sceptical about people. This meant if I ever did get a compliment, I'd often 2nd guess it. The worst part is when you know this is most likely the case but you can't stop yourself from thinking it anyway.
5. Now combine all the above and you suddenly get a disaster when you throw me into a new environment with a girl I've just met :(
6. Lack of experience now also means the times I manage to succeed, means I'll often fail in the next step. This is what happened to me recently when I tried online dating. I had no problem with the messaging side because none of the above problems really come into play so it's easy to just be yourself and to be confident. Then we met in person and it was just a disaster.

I could probably go on but at point 6 already I'm counting it as a step forward for myself and I'm hoping to just keep pushing that boundary a lil' further each time to try solve problems 1-5 :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2015 8:18 pm 
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After reading through the lists, I can spot a few which apply to me though I will preface this by listing my past experience:

Past experience with women

1) Never understood IOIs
2) Mixed messages from women
3) Girls can be bitchy, jealous and backstabbing
4) One girl told me that girls weren’t worth the effort.
5) Mental attitude: “Am I wasting my time? Why should I bother?” … Never been in a relationship as a consequence hence lack of experience or deep knowledge

Mental

1) Confidence issues
2) Male competition (Compare myself to others especially concerning “baby face” because I look very young for my age)
3) not feeling alpha enough
4) i dont really have a passion (at least I don’t think so)
5) Worried about my performance in bed. I don’t make any attempt because I am nervous about getting found out (especially at my age, 40).

Physical

1) Bite my nails (usually a sign of stress though I tend not to do it so much now)
2) Skin condition (my arms are crap)
3) No muscle definition
4) Due to “baby face” I don’t look that great with or without facial hair (though a bit of stubble is alright)

Moving forward / Positives

1) I am an introvert so happy to be out and about by myself (including going to the cinema or theatre). Come to realise that day-gaming on my own shouldn't be too much of an issue for me only if I can get that extra ounce of courage to take it the next step. I've had a few opportunities but I keep mentally punching myself in the face!
2) I live alone which should be a plus right?
3) I've started eating a lot more healthily especially a lot more fish.
3) In the last two months I’ve lost 6lbs
4) I am currently working full time four days a week but I have arranged to change my working pattern so I am at home two days a week which will give me time to do resistance exercises. I want to lose another 28lbs over the next five months and tone my muscles.
5) Start practising meditation / mindfulness
6) Carry on swimming twice a week and use the sauna.
7) I want to start doing voluntary conservation work in my local area
8. I want to improve my public speaking and presentation skills

If you have any comments let me know.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:01 am 
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Here is a list of my own internal issues with dating and interactions:

1.) Interaction anxiety- pretty much the same as social anxiety but it isn't necessary triggered by general interactions by any sex or being in big groups. i can usually have short or small conversations on a number of topics with members of both sexes. Its usually triggered by micro-expressions and non verbal communication that occurs between females and myself in specific phases that i perceived to have been a failed attempt at pickup or the courtship phase or just a general fail at building any sort of relationship whatsoever. it comes about in situations were i have had prolonged interactions with a chick in a work or academic environment and there was a subtle progression of courtship that started to develop somehow. as time goes on, something either she did directly that was a sharp "danger" trigger to me that i didn't understand that caught me off guard or it was something i did that i myself perceived to have been the "wrong" move which breaks the connection or bond that was forming. Sort of like a self imposed Dxing from the situation. Because of this, my anxiety develops builds due to continued interactions with that person because of this inherent fear of what the other person is thinking or doing or the non-verbal communications that pick up after the fact.

2.) Inimical perspective of women- In my 12+ years of being really into women i have witnesses the worst examples of female hypergamy and outright sociopathology in regards to female behavior and actions. I have since determined due to my observations that the general populous of women are, because of social engineering, female primacy, and cultural shaping, that women are effectively solipsistic , narcissistic, and downright psychopathic. This has driven me to the point were i downright avoid them when i can. i have no female friends at all accept for the associates and acquaintances one might make at work. Because of this, i give off this cold and very stoic persona that is very introverted to some extent and robotic (as i have overheard one female say to another co-worker) to help avoid any sort of conflict that comes about, inevitably, when interacting with women. Though this might now seem like a specific problem at first but it feeds into the first point in that it directly drives how i proceed after an initial interpretation of a specific effect or action that has happened between me a female that i might have perceived to be negative or a mess up on my part.

Just looking for small steps to take with trying to deal with all this since most of this is deep seated in past relationships that i have since found objective understanding of why it happened but can resolved with my current impression of the world at the moment.


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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2016 9:37 pm 
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Location: Zagreb, Croatia
VanHaven wrote:
My biggest issue is lack of motivation. I have zero problems going out to bars and parties and talking to people, male or female. However, if I'm in a store or something and I'm shopping....well shopping always my focus, not picking up anyone. I know in my head I can pickup anywhere, but sometimes it just dosne't seem all that important depending on where I am.


Hi VanHaven,

Your issue has reminded me of the issue of the guy whose post titled "I freeze up in clubs/bars" I have lately replied to. If you'd like to check it out and learn about my tips, just click on the link that you can see inside this text.

Take care,
Bruno

_________________
FREE Report: "From False Passion For Picking Up Women Through Sexual Addiction To Redemption"


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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2016 4:42 pm 
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Location: pula,istria
my issue is as i can see it,i go out,that"s usually during the day,i prefer night game,but at the day i kinda get little bit stuck up in the beginning,you know:what to say bla bla bla .....,try to add some neg,force a joke or two,i say force cos i doesn't come smoothly in the beginning,anyway everything gets ok as soon as i relax and start having fun with it,usually takes 2-3 approaches to warm up,but that start before i even open somebody is little bit annoying,stuck in my head,funny thing is when i am not even thinking about it and just chatting with a friend or whom ever just happens to randomly meet someone i am ok with it,but when i go out for daygame that idea that i am going out for it simply doesn't help,any toughs on it?


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 4:55 pm 
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1) acne - I have an almost clear face, but from time to time a pimple appears, and my confidence goes away
2)Bacne - I have bacne and it looks bad as fuck, but i dont know how to get rid of it. I don´t even imagine having sex without shirt.
3) breath - Fear of having bad breath when im talking to a girl, so i´m always chweing gum (also because it makes your jawline bigger and bitches love that :p)´
4) my hair- i always put product in it because if i dont i look ridiculous, and my hair grows so fucking fast. I go get an haircut and 2 weeks later it already looks bad again.
5)Confidence - Some girls just dont take me seriously because i dont act confident around them
6) anxiety- I always think that everyone is looking at me and talking shit about me.
7)Comparing my self to other guys- Yeah.. it just sucks
8 )Overthinking- one of the world biggest problems
9) im shy- Its a horrible sensation when you are with a groupe and dont know what to say


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2016 11:17 pm 
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1.my problem is I tend to be jugemental and sometimes I don't know whether what i am saying is hurtfull or not .
2. I analyse the girls a lot and mostly my observations are either wrong or just rude.
3. I am kind of sexist , I 've been told I treat woman like toys.
4 . I become super needy when the relationship / friendship last longer and longer . I know it's wrong but a year ago I was pretty attached to this girl and she was attached to me . Since I left her I 've had this whole I've been filing .
Hopefully I come back with another list when you tell me how to fix these .


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:37 pm 
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I feel like despite having interesting and funny ideas, I can't keep up an extended stimulating conversation with anyone. Literally cannot talk to people for very long without running out of things to say.

Feel like my friends judge me for my lifestyle, they know I don't get many girls, don't have good social circles and don't do much with my days.

Feel like people, boys and girls, don't see me as charismatic or attractive. I don't have any natural charisma.

Often feel held back my mood, most of the day/time i'm not in the mood to talk to people (feels like a huge effort). I feel like they don't find me interesting and i don't find them interesting (just an effort on both our sides to force a conversation) - don't get me wrong, I am a naturally social person and prefer to always be with people rather than alone, it's just organising fun things to do is a real struggle, always worried it will get boring/awkward.

When walking down the street, beautiful girls make me feel intimidated and unhappy.

Don't have the energy to entertain people, let alone girls. Feel down and tired most of the time.


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