Girl i dated contacts me after 4 months..


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:17 am 
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Hi.


I dated a girl 2 months back in august and september.

She ditched me after a little drama after i flirted with her bestfriend on a weekend trip. She told me that she feelt humiliated, and also that she wasn't looking for anything serious and the she can tell that i was, and she didn't want to hurt me.
I tried to "win" her back telling her that we could take it casually if she wanted, because that would have also been fine with me. So contacted her 3 times after the "dumped" me the following weeks after late september.

She wold me that she needed space, but sure we could hang out like friend but she didn't want to promise me anything.
Anyway, she never followed up on that and i didn't want to look needy. We snapped casually with random snaps that you send to everyone.

I late november i asked her again with " Hi, long time ago. Want to grab a drink next time?" She didn't respond, and after that the random snaps stopped, and i didn't snap her or contact her again.
I did however snap her Happy New Year ( That i sent to everyone), no respond on that either.

This girl gave me bad onetis, i just couldn't forget about her.

But finally, when i'm done with her and dating this wonderfull girl she contacts me again...

When we dated she broke her iphone screen, and it takes me 5 min to fix that, so i told her that just pay me for the parts and i will fix it for you.

Anyway, the screen arrived after she dumped me. I told her that it arrived back in september, and that i could fix it someday. But she never followed up on that.


The message she wrote me yesterday was her trying to be very "sweet", 7 am in the morning...??

Like" Hiiii, yoou :) Ehm hehe do you still have the iphone screen you got for me? Clumsy me managed to break it again :$ :$

I responed with: Hi, yea i still have it
Her: Ooh nice! Could i come over someday and pick it up? And can you tell me have to put on the screen? ( She know very well that she would never ever manage to do that herself, and i guess/ know she wanted me to tell her that i could do it..)
Me: Yea, you can come over. Haha, you would never manage to do that by yourself, sure i can fix it for you.
Her: That would be nice!!!

Me: You can come over next week on monday or tueday and we can fix it. How have you been?
Her: Nice, thanks :D I've been good, just alot of work lately. How about you?
Me: Same her, worked to 10pm tonight ( I didn't) :| So ready for the bed now. Night!
Her: Good job, keep it up. We talk next week :) - Bad that i didn't wrote We talk next week after " Night" on my message, because she ended the convo with more power with ending it.



What do you think she wants? I really don't think she only comes over for me to fix her screen after not seeing me for 4 months... That would be extremely rude.
She is a wealthy women, and a i really don't think thats the reason.. If that was the reason she would had come over last time i asked back in september.

My guess is that she had a break up with a flirt and felt lonely, and wanted to see if i responded her. She is 24, i'm 26.
I don't want the date her again because the way she treated me, and because i have met a new girl that i like really much. But it would be nice to have her in my life like a friend, because she is really hot and have cool friends with high social proof.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:41 am 
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sometimes1 wrote:
She ditched me after a little drama after i flirted with her bestfriend on a weekend trip. She told me that she feelt humiliated, and also that she wasn't looking for anything serious and the she can tell that i was, and she didn't want to hurt me.


Yes because nothing screams "I WANT SOMETHING SERIOUS" than a guy flirting with your best friend. I'm sure that's why.

sometimes1 wrote:
She wold me that she needed space, but sure we could hang out like friend but she didn't want to promise me anything.

Translation: I'm not interested.

sometimes1 wrote:
I late november i asked her again with " Hi, long time ago. Want to grab a drink next time?" She didn't
respond

Still not interested.

sometimes1 wrote:
I did however snap her Happy New Year ( That i sent to everyone), no respond on that either.

Hey look, it's a new year and I'm still not interested.

sometimes1 wrote:
Like" Hiiii, yoou :) Ehm hehe do you still have the iphone screen you got for me? Clumsy me managed to break it again :$ :$

Aaaaand now I need a favor so I'll be cute about it.

sometimes1 wrote:
Bad that i didn't wrote We talk next week after " Night" on my message, because she ended the convo with more power with ending it.

Yes, I'm quite sure she'd have immediately jumped on your cock had you done so.

sometimes1 wrote:
What do you think she wants? I really don't think she only comes over for me to fix her screen after not seeing me for 4 months... That would be extremely rude.

She wants you to do her a favor. I don't know if I'd call it rude. You're the one who kept trying to talk to her even though she was clearly not having it. If you don't respect yourself, why would she?

sometimes1 wrote:
My guess is that she had a break up with a flirt and felt lonely, and wanted to see if i responded her. She is 24, i'm 26.
I don't want the date her again because the way she treated me, and because i have met a new girl that i like really much.

Yeah, maybe she did have a breakup and maybe she is feeling lonely. So she'll just go back to you since apparently you don't mind sloppy seconds.

sometimes1 wrote:
But it would be nice to have her in my life like a friend, because she is really hot and have cool friends with high social proof.


Yeah, why not. Be friends with someone that won't even reply to a happy new year's message, but will hit you up when they need a favor. And someone you're clearly not over.
That sounds like a great idea.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:02 pm 
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Everything R.C. said.

You acted like a bitch, OP. Total pleaser mentality, and you chased a girl who dumped you.

That said, I'd still let her come over to
Your place. Any time a woman wants to come over to your place, regardless of her stated reason, it's a potentially good thing. Yeah, she may want her phone fixed, but she may also be in a dry spell and horny as fuck.

Your ability to pull away from her the last few months and not freak out over her non responses could have been the needy cleanse she required of you.

Arrange a meet up, be fun andflirty, don't talk about the past, focus on the moment then go for the kiss. Do it within the first half of the meet. You've slept with her before, so big advantage.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:13 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
Everything R.C. said.

You acted like a bitch, OP. Total pleaser mentality, and you chased a girl who dumped you.

That said, I'd still let her come over to
Your place. Any time a woman wants to come over to your place, regardless of her stated reason, it's a potentially good thing. Yeah, she may want her phone fixed, but she may also be in a dry spell and horny as fuck.

Your ability to pull away from her the last few months and not freak out over her non responses could have been the needy cleanse she required of you.

Arrange a meet up, be fun andflirty, don't talk about the past, focus on the moment then go for the kiss. Do it within the first half of the meet. You've slept with her before, so big advantage.


Thanks!

I will do that, she comes over next wednesday.

But isn´t not talking about that she didn't´t answer me at all a little weak. I feel like asking " Hehe, did your flirt ditch you since you suddenly contact me?" ( IF she acts like everything is normal ) At the same time, i don´t won't to talk about the past and want her to see that i moved on, but i dont want to feel weak just being flirty etc after that behavior...

And i bet she will ask if i date someone. If i say yes, and then flirt with her and end up having sex. I bet that also will feed her ego and know that i like her better..

This girl really destroyed my ego, and i want to regain that by trying to get back the control after the meeting. Not because i want her as my GF, but knowing that she dumped med and has the power is irritating the hell out of me.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:39 pm 
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Yeah basically what arch and Rc said. You're not going to regain any power here. She hit you up after dumping you and ignoring you for a favor. Even if she comes over and fucks you she has the "power"...you're a toy with no self respect and time to do chicks favors. If she fucks you it's because she's desperate. Do you think if she com a over to fuck it was due to your bend over backwards willing to be sloppy seconds demeanor? She may fuck you and sure you can have her come over. But she's using you at the end of the day and has the control. You'd probably regress in moving on afterwards and end up worse for it.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:59 pm 
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[quote="neo87". You'd probably regress in moving on afterwards and end up worse for it.[/quote]
I agree.. :/ I don't think it's good either. And my new "gf" would kill me if she found out because she hates her.

I think to even gain a little respect from her i should have wrote " i dont think thats a good idea. I have meet someone new, and i dont think she would have like that. And i also dont think you deserve it, and transfer The money she sent me back"

Agreee?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:14 pm 
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sometimes1 wrote:
But isn´t not talking about that she didn't´t answer me at all a little weak.



No. Bringing it up is needy and weak as hell. How do you think a man, who had three hot girls blowing up his phone would react to that? Do you think he would give a FLYING FUCK about a girl not texting him back?

Nope. If you don't have abundance mentality, fake it until you do.


Quote:
I feel like asking " Hehe, did your flirt ditch you since you suddenly contact me?"


lol, this is pathetic. Get your mind right, son (easter egg film reference ;)

Quote:
And i bet she will ask if i date someone. If i say yes, and then flirt with her and end up having sex. I bet that also will feed her ego and know that i like her better..


Haha bro, she already knows you like her a lot. And you DO want to sleep with her, so why not be congruent with what you want?


Quote:
This girl really destroyed my ego, and i want to regain that by trying to get back the control after the meeting. Not because i want her as my GF, but knowing that she dumped med and has the power is irritating the hell out of me.


Do you know what control is? It's a girl getting on her knees and pleasing you. That's fucking control. Everything else is BULLSHIT.

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Last edited by Arch Stanton on Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:20 pm 
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sometimes1 wrote:
I think to even gain a little respect from her i should have wrote " i dont think thats a good idea. I have meet someone new, and i dont think she would have like that. And i also dont think you deserve it, and transfer The money she sent me back"

Agreee?



No, it's insane. and sooooo butthurt.

Do you want respect, or do you want to get laid a lot? There are a lot of Alpha 1.0, Mike Ditka type "Respect" guys out there who spend a great deal of time jerking off.

I always tell people this when they meet girls, or the first few months of a relationship: "Text and act like a man who has three hot women in his bed."

None of your planned text replies or retorts to her convey that you have options. These responses do: "Cool", "sweet", "sounds good", "fun".


And she bailed on you exactly for this kind of clingy, butthurt, needy behavior, and sending novels of emotion via text.

She's supposed to come over Wednsday. Read those words. A woman is coming over to your place. Are you going to act like a man who has three hot girls blowing up his phone, or a needy, butthurt bitch who is worried about "respect" because his ego is so fragile?

We all know what you want. You want sex. So be congruent with what you want, and LEAD like a dominant male.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:12 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
sometimes1 wrote:
I think to even gain a little respect from her i should have wrote " i dont think thats a good idea. I have meet someone new, and i dont think she would have like that. And i also dont think you deserve it, and transfer The money she sent me back"

Agreee?



No, it's insane. and sooooo butthurt.

Do you want respect, or do you want to get laid a lot? There are a lot of Alpha 1.0, Mike Ditka type "Respect" guys out there who spend a great deal of time jerking off.

I always tell people this when they meet girls, or the first few months of a relationship: "Text and act like a man who has three hot women in his bed."

None of your planned text replies or retorts to her convey that you have options. These responses do: "Cool", "sweet", "sounds good", "fun".


And she bailed on you exactly for this kind of clingy, butthurt, needy behavior, and sending novels of emotion via text.

She's supposed to come over Wednsday. Read those words. A woman is coming over to your place. Are you going to act like a man who has three hot girls blowing up his phone, or a needy, butthurt bitch who is worried about "respect" because his ego is so fragile?

We all know what you want. You want sex. So be congruent with what you want, and LEAD like a dominant male.



Thanks alot man for your response!

Everything you say is true. Facts is i miss banging her so bad. Funny thing is that actually was over her and stopped viewing her my storys to Get over her.. and then BAM, she text me. I dreamed about for months just seeing her again, and thought i never would. I know, am patethic. :)

I will do what you say, because that what i really want, bang her. Only! thing am worried about is that if i make a move, and she reject me because she only visited me to catch up as friends, i would really feel like the biggest loser! Thing is i said that she should stay friends after she dumped me, and i invited her over for movie 2 weeks later. She told me that she was not that type of girl, and i told her that i only invited her over as a friend. ( This was 2 weeks after she dumped me, 4 months ago now)
So am a little afraid that she only does this as a friend coming over, and i make a complete fool out of my self if i make a move.

Should i ask if she wants to stay after i fix the screen and watch a movie, or what should i say? :)

Main goal is having her as a fuck buddy, because she is not girlfriend material anymore.
I can add that what she really liked about me was that i took control. Like going for The kiss, holding hands public etc. She said all other boys she dated never made The first movie, and that i made her feel very safe. She said that all The time.

I really appriciate your responses!:)


Last edited by sometimes1 on Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:20 pm 
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sometimes1 wrote:

Everything you say is true. Facts is i miss banging her so bad. Funny thing is that actually was over her and stopped viewing her my storys to Get over her.. and then BAM, she text me. I dreamed about for months just seeing her again, and thought i never would. I know, am patethic. :)


It's not pathetic to desire a woman. It's science! Don't beat yourself up.


Quote:
I will do what you say, because that what i really want, bang her. Only! thing am worried about is that if i make a move, and she reject me because she only visited me to catch up as friends, i would really feel like the biggest loser! T



So what if she rejects you. A man with abundance mentality (three cute girls blowing up his phone) wouldn't care if a girl who came over to his place rejected him. He'd shrug his shoulders, say "cool" and wish her a good day, lol.

It's this INDIFFERENCE that attracts women. When a woman rejects you, and you act like nothing happened at all, if they have any attraction for you, it will drive them crazy.

Do you know what's pathetic? Having a woman alone at your home, and not trying to escalate.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:27 pm 
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Arch Stanton wrote:
sometimes1 wrote:

Everything you say is true. Facts is i miss banging her so bad. Funny thing is that actually was over her and stopped viewing her my storys to Get over her.. and then BAM, she text me. I dreamed about for months just seeing her again, and thought i never would. I know, am patethic. :)


It's not pathetic to desire a woman. It's science! Don't beat yourself up.


Quote:
I will do what you say, because that what i really want, bang her. Only! thing am worried about is that if i make a move, and she reject me because she only visited me to catch up as friends, i would really feel like the biggest loser! T



So what if she rejects you. A man with abundance mentality (three cute girls blowing up his phone) wouldn't care if a girl who came over to his place rejected him. He'd shrug his shoulders, say "cool" and wish her a good day, lol.

It's this INDIFFERENCE that attracts women. When a woman rejects you, and you act like nothing happened at all, if they have any attraction for you, it will drive them crazy.

Do you know what's pathetic? Having a woman alone at your home, and not trying to escalate.


True! <3

I can add that what she really liked about me was that i took control. Like going for The kiss, holding hands public etc. She said all other boys she dated never made The first movie, and that i made her feel very safe. She said that all The time.

Do you have any good esculation tips after fixing that screen? Was asking if she wants to stay for a movie OK, or should i just sit and talk and see what happens?

My friends said i shouldt Ask her that, because i should have her making more effort..


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 10:23 pm 
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sometimes1 wrote:

Do you have any good esculation tips after fixing that screen? Was asking if she wants to stay for a movie OK, or should i just sit and talk and see what happens?


I'd start fixing the screen, and tease her a bit while you do. Grin and say stuff like "You really didn't come over her just for the phone, you horndog", or, "My aunt has that jacket", or "The last girl's phone I fixed was a blonde (or whatever the opposite of her hair color is):, "new hairstyle huh? Interesting look." Be playful, never serious. Use playful shocking honesty (not I love you, I have feelings for you, but fun, sexual stuff like "Your ass is almost perfect. Almost.") then 1/3rd through, escalate by going for the kiss. Stand up from the phone smoothly, make firm eye contact, then look at her lips and just go for it. She'll probably say "what?" as you lock eyes, and you say "this", then lean in. Don't wait until it's over. When a woman comes over to your house, there's usually thick sexual tension because both sides understand the implications. Sitting around while you fix the phone will deflate some of that.

Quote:
My friends said i shouldt Ask her that, because i should have her making more effort..


Your friends are clueless. Dude, you have a woman coming over to your house. She's making the effort. Sure, she could only want her phone fixed, but many times women who have not had sex in a while will think of all different reasons to be alone with a guy they liked before. Always assume attraction.

Why would you need to bring up a movie, or anything else? Makes no sense at all.

If she rejects you, who gives a shit. It's still better than you lying to yourself and her by saying you just want to be pals.

Oh well. Put on your best duds and game other women.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:48 am 
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Don't forget to update this story OP. And yes, please do not listen to your friends. Sending that shit shows nothing other than you're still butthurt. 4 months later.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:28 pm 
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OP, you dont just want to bang this chick. You have a bad one itis, and reading your comments, you care way too much about her, what she thinks, the outcome. You're not a guy looking to bang and not a guy who is over an old chick. She's nuts, you're needy...you 2 date, she walks away and you chase her back. This has happened 2-3 time already. For a very short dating history (what is it a month), shouldnt be all this shit and thinking. My guess is, if you bang her wednesday, you'll fall deeper into your oneitis. And hey, you may be able to go back to dating her. But chick has issues. And you're insecure and needy. All of this just makes you step further from addressing your confidence and options. A bang or a few is good, but thats not what this is. She's hotter than you typically get, and instead of going for other hot women, you'll try to hold onto this one.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:57 pm 
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neo87 wrote:
OP, you dont just want to bang this chick. You have a bad one itis, and reading your comments, you care way too much about her, what she thinks, the outcome. You're not a guy looking to bang and not a guy who is over an old chick. She's nuts, you're needy...you 2 date, she walks away and you chase her back. This has happened 2-3 time already. For a very short dating history (what is it a month), shouldnt be all this shit and thinking. My guess is, if you bang her wednesday, you'll fall deeper into your oneitis. And hey, you may be able to go back to dating her. But chick has issues. And you're insecure and needy. All of this just makes you step further from addressing your confidence and options. A bang or a few is good, but thats not what this is. She's hotter than you typically get, and instead of going for other hot women, you'll try to hold onto this one.


Thanks alot for your replay. What you say is true, hehe how did you understand that? We dated 2 months, and also went on a weekend trip that i fucked up.
She' very hot, perfect 9. Funny, charasmatic and smart. Good job, very high value friends, rich family etc etc. She actually said after she dumped me that we come from two different worlds, and she dosent think am her type of girl.. Not that i dont have a good job or cool friends, but she is over me not under me.
You can read my novel here if you want the full story. Hehe..relationships/should-try-last-time-vt200191.html


Last edited by sometimes1 on Fri Jan 13, 2017 2:31 pm, edited 7 times in total.

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