Thanks Mr. A.
Another date until the night with Cassy, we're in bed and I'm heating her up but keep bumping into LMR. I freeze, then escalate again. But it looks like she's not putting out soon.
She tells me about a bad experience a few months ago, I'm ok with that and compassionate about it, but I promised myself I wouldn't deal any more with the previous guy's shit. So I keep going. She moans, she's enjoying it, but the V is hands off (though I manage to get an unfinished handjob from her).
I tell her that I'm poly, she says she's ok with me fucking other girls but not falling in love, I say it's not what poly is about. She pulls the usual shitty misconceptions about poly, gradually losing my respect, so I tell her it's not gonna work, I get dressed, she says "That sucks, but I understand. But don't you want to spend the night here anyway?" Holy WTF. With that line the little respect left is gone, and so am I.
Night of the 24th, shitty outing with a PU rookie. There's a couple of sets in the bar, I open one creepily and I'm done for the night. Sets me up with an AA that follows me for a few days. Which leads to: How to deal with AA:
here's my 2¢ on it. I decide to go to a social Meetup with this in mind: "You're not here to score, you're just here to put into practice everything you learned, minus the sexual part. No objective whatsoever, so NOTHING can go wrong. And you don't care with who you talk, girl, guy, young or old."
Meaning: I enter with a smile on my face, I approach the first group I notice, interrupt the person who's speaking to introduce myself (without the fear of rejection, because these Meetups are made precisely for strangers to meet each others), work on posture, eye contact, speak loud and with emotions (à la Tony Robbins), kino everybody, and make sure that I make up the majority of the conversation. And if I fail to keep that in any way, that's still ok, because there's no objective whatsoever.
And it works. I talk to an 40-something couple for an hour or so, then a girl (Dawna) comes to the group to say that the Meetup is bouncing to another place.
There I feel that AA is gone, and I transition to game mode. I joke with Dawna, at the other place the group leader has one moment of hesitation ("where should we sit?") so I point one space of the bar and say "let's go over there", walking without waiting for anybody to agree and ushering Dawna to follow me. I sit up with her, build comfort for an hour or so, she tells me she likes wine but that place doesn't have good one, I ask her which place in town has and tell her "let's go there then!" Beautiful insta-date, the place is quieter and more intimate. I escalate the kino (I didn't start at the first place, should have), she's shy but she lets me do and she bites back when I gently sass her. #-close is as far as I go because she tells me her mom is visiting the next day (and shy as she is she's clearly not the sex-then-let's-welcome-mom type). We make up vague plans for the future, then a good-bye hug and that's it.
Finally started apps and OkC, so far two conversations started on Coffe Meets Bagel and WOOT WOOT just got a date for tomorrow with a girl (Elena). Thanks Eddie Fews for his lesson of how to start a convo with a personally-tailored compliment
(she had a straw hat and a tight dress, I asked if she was waitressing in Copacabana). I set up the date for something that felt incredibly early in the convo (6th message), not sure if that's good or bad but I feel like she was inviting me to. Probably wrote too much (my texts are twice the size of hers, and setting the date I sent three messages in a row, which felt awkward on my side). Told her a tentative hour and that I'll confirm tomorrow (flake insurance).
Nothing to report from Bumble, OkC or Tinder.
From now on, will keep going out three nights a week, to low-pressure Meetups if AA is there, to bars alone if I feel the courage. Will work on approaching, kino and building comfort.
And work on my text game: personal compliments and sending texts of size similar to hers.