Mixed signals - text vs. phone game



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 5:10 am 
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Sup guys,

Background:
Met a girl through a dating App. I gave her my number and she text me first (off to a good start). We met up for Happy Hour for the first time and right off the back we had chemistry. She giggled the entire time and was very playful (its as if we have been friends for a long time). I told her to text me when she got home and she did, but then decided to go out with some friends and she ended up inviting me out too (since I live walking distance to all the bars)....

When I met up with her she was a bit drunk...and within 5 minutes of siting with her and some of her friends, she grabs my neck and starts to make out with me... 45 min later, we are walking back to my place where we make out more and get a little more physical, but I could tell she was a bit more drunk than I was and she started getting sassy with me. I played with her sass until she eventually fell asleep and I then I had to get her an Uber to go home (I had to leave to NYC the next morning). I texted her to make sure she got home okay. She replied later the next day and we had a decent text conversation. That night (my first night in NYC) we talked on the phone for 45 min. Again, lots of chemistry and very giggly and fun.

Here's my problem. I'm having trouble reading her when we text. She's a boring texter. She's short and simple, no emojis, no explanation points, and an occasional "lol"/"haha"... when she gets cold, I get cold back and see if she'll wants to continue the conversation, which she does by usually asking me how my day has been. I'll try to get playful with her, but don't get the response I'm looking for or sometimes she'll straight up not text me for hours on end or until the next day (if texted early in the night). I've only doubled texted her once and it was to tell her goodnight.

Are some girls just bad at texting? I'm getting confused cause we have such great conversation on the phone! and yes, I have set up a second date. I told her to come over on Friday and I'll cook for her and we'll watch some HBO. She agreed. Then cancelled on me because apparently her best friend's birthday dinner is the same night. I told her "No worries, how does Sunday night work?"...she replied, "That works for me"... and I said "Okay sounds good"....she then proceeded to ask me about my day. I told her "I'm still hustling' lol how was training?" (as she trains people to be teachers)... she proceeded to tell me about how "dumb" the girl she is training is and how she hopes dinner with her is not awkward.. my last text to her was "Wow, you're so mean! Better have some good stories to tell me lol" and she hasn't replied back.

What can I possibly be doing wrong?

Thanks in advance!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:13 am 
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What you did wrong in this particular situation was going out with a girl and her friends prior to having fucked her AND regardless of having early morning plans.

Besides, are you sure you're not being slightly boring? Asking about her training and such?

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:14 pm 
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Man, she was way too drunk by the time we got to my place. She could barely stand and any time I tried escalating she'd get pissy drunk mood. She did leave her nice neckless at my place which I'm waiting to use at a good time.

See that's the thing, im not a boring texter! I have fun with the girls and everything, but with this one she's cold in a lot of her replie... but then when we talk on the phone. Boom! Great conversation, giggly, flirty...

That's what is confusing me! (When she gets dry with me, I attempt to be fun and again and if she is dry again I'm dry back and short to show her I'm losing interest).


Last edited by acordavid on Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:19 pm 
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For example. I text her this morning:

Me: "Crazy dream last and guess who was in it??... Dutch!! I'll have to tell you during my lunch break haha" (Dutch is her dog) and he was actually in my dream.

Her: "lol that's really funny"

That's it, nothing else. Didn't even acknowledge that I will call her during lunch..


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:39 pm 
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acordavid wrote:
Man, she was way too drunk by the time we got to my place. She could barely stand and any time I tried escalating she'd get pissy drunk mood. She did leave her nice neckless at my place which I'm waiting to use at a good time.


So? That doesn't change anything, you still went out with a girl and her friends prior to having fucked her. And regardless of having an early morning. That was a bad bet from the very beginning but you took it anyway. That's being too available/eager.

acordavid wrote:
Me: "Crazy dream last and guess who was in it??... Dutch!! I'll have to tell you during my lunch break haha" (Dutch is her dog) and he was actually in my dream.


You're fishing. Using the dog dream as bait to squeeze in a lunch invite. It seems you're trying a bit too hard and that's why her replies are not particularly invested. You're trying to get reactions out of her and that's virtually a form of validation seeking behavior.
It's not particularly attractive.

There's a difference between telling a joke because you find it funny and are looking to amuse yourself as opposed to telling a joke because you think they will find it funny and are looking to amuse them.
You're largely if not entirely focusing on her at the moment.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:49 pm 
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Gotcha man. You're right. Focusing too much on her. What do you suggest I do? Now I don't want to call her. I feel like I've already come off as needy. How can I fix this? How can I gain that attractiveness again?

She's is still supposed to come over on Sunday for dinner and hasn't cancelled.

Thanks for the advice.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:12 pm 
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I'd back off and let her come to me. Put in some effort of her own. And talk to other girls, it helps.

For future reference, don't try as much to please. Don't be afraid of teasing women and giving them shit, just like you would your close friends. Be a challenge, in other words.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:59 pm 
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I love a post that begins with "Help Mixed Signals"

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