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 Post subject: Help with my best friend
PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 6:29 pm 
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Me and this girl have known eachother for more than 14 years. She is actually the older sister to my best friend which ive known for 15+ years. However, we were never really close. At the beginning of the year we started talking alot and we were helping eachother through hard times. Both really have to do with loss of family.

As time went on, we grew alot closer and started developing feelings. we ended up sleeping together and tried to give the relationship a try. However, it ended about a few weeks into it. She said it was awkward for her and she had alot of pressure from her family and brother. She has had been in many relationships but were all gang bangers, druggies and etc. She usually ends up breaking it off with them and i guess hurting them. And since im so close with the family they kept telling her not to hurt me which she said put alot of pressure on her. She also said at the time she was still going through alot of emotional stuff so she was drinking alot and on alot of drugs like bars. She was confused with her feelings for me because at the time she thought was romantic but eventually decided it was just friendship. Since it ended so abrupt for me and when she did end it i didnt get a real explanation why until months later and because of that i never really got over her, and i still had feelings for her. I ended up just saying thats fine your feelings are your own we do what we gotta do. But thinking back it was also awkward for me. Me mainly cause of my best friend which is also her brother. So when i was with her i felt like i had to tread carefully and could never be fully myself. In the end we remained close friends/best friends.

Months later when we could act more natural towards eachother we got everything out in the open. Like why she broke it off and eventually we acted alot more like ourselves with eachother. She admitted i was the only person she could fully open up to and be herself with. She questioned why i wasnt like myself more before cause in her mind i guess my personality is what she would want. Obviously its kind a bitch to hear that so i made some cocky funny remark and brushed it off. And to be honest she is the same for me. Ive never really been able to fully open up and be myself even in my past LTRs. We are alot alike and are values and beliefs are very similar (not sure if this part is even important).

As time went on i started dating other girls and focusing on myself but my feelings for her never disappeared. It ended up to the point where we were talking for hours every night and she would call me when she wakes up and before bed and fall asleep on the phone (she likes talking on the phone alot. If it wasnt me it be somebody else, but she did talk to me probably 10x more than others). I soon realized i was her emotional tampon and i couldn't take it anymore cause not only was it emotionally but mentally stressful. So I told her my feelings for her kept coming back despite trying to be platonic and dating other chicks. i told her i needed some distance and time away. She said i thought you were ok with everything and i said i am ok being close friends with you, but it was unfair of her to put me in a position of a relationship but not be in one. And she agreed but she she was afraid of losing me and dont want me to shut her out. Anyways we havent talked for a few days since then.

Im not sure what to do now i dont really have the expectation of dating her although i wont lie as of right now my feelings for her are still strong so i do think about it. but more importantly i dont wanna lose her as a friend cause we are really close. Idk how long i should keep up this no contact and idk how I would even reengage the friendship.

Any advice or help would be grateful.


Last edited by jcbk003 on Wed Dec 28, 2016 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 6:53 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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You want to fuck her right?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 6:58 pm 
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Quote:
You want to fuck her right?
Truthfully since i just started the no contact and my feelings for her are strong i do still want to be with her. But i dont even know thats possible anymore. I am more concerned about staying close friends. Perhaps im just confused about what i really want at the moment. Never been in this situation. usually if things end i just end it id never talk with my exs etc.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:00 pm 
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If you were getting fat because you were eating your favorite dessert all of the time, would you be writing a post on how to lose weight without giving that food up?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:11 pm 
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Any advice or help would be grateful.
Go on a quest to find your balls. See if they are at the gym.

Quote:
Perhaps im just confused about what i really want at the moment.
Sexual orientation?

When is the last time you have banged another woman?

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Last edited by Heywood Jablowme on Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:15 pm 
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Quote:
If you were getting fat because you were eating your favorite dessert all of the time, would you be writing a post on how to lose weight without giving that food up?
I get that but im suppose to shut her out forever?
Quote:
Quote:
Any advice or help would be grateful.
Go on a quest to find balls. See if they are at the gym.

Quote:
Perhaps im just confused about what i really want at the moment.
Sexual orientation?

When is the last time you have banged another woman?
Lol last night im not dumb i know how to focus on myself. My concern is should i just let this friendship be lost


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:18 pm 
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My concern is should i just let this friendship be lost
Is it stagnating your life?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:32 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
My concern is should i just let this friendship be lost
Is it stagnating your life?
Good point guess if im here posting about it then it is. Thanks. Was confusing for me cause never been in the situation where i wanted to stay friends cause of my past relationship with her. Usually its easy for me


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:39 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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I get that but im suppose to shut her out forever?
What good is it going to be to keep her in your life if it is negatively affecting you?

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