Mr. Assertive wrote:
I guess you have to keep pushing that "stalling" behavior to "positive behavior". I used to be like that. I shut down if people got too all up in my business. Nowadays I take it in stride. You'll be happier in the long run when you have a solid support network .
Johnny Utah wrote:
Hi Taiko, do you like taiko drums? I enjoy playing them myself. If you live in Japan like I do, we can hangout as friends.
I used to have this same issue as you but I have made some serious changes to my mindset and my lifestyle over the years.
Hi. Sorry, I'm from Portugal. Not even close. haha
And answering to both of you, I'm sociable (not very, but somewhat). But when it comes to girls I'm attracted to, I just end up not making a move because I'm too nervous to do it.
For instance, right now there is a girl I'm attracted to that works near a place I study at night. I go there sometimes (sometimes I only go there after 2/3 weeks, because I'm busy and I can't go there very often) and from the very first time I went there I felt we made a connection. Even now, every time I go there she smiles a lot and blushes and moves her lips (don't know how to describe it) and stuff. I went there this afternoon just to see was on a shift. And there she was. I went in and I just asked for a cofee. Same thing happened.
When I'm calm and not on that situation, I just say to myself that it's an irrational fear. Because she seems to be as much into me as I'm into her. And because the worst thing that can happen is getting rejected (which is the same as not going in at all). But when I'm there feeling all nervous I can't do it.
I'd thought of asking her for a cup of cofee or something and handing my number to her (I don't want to pressure her on her workplace because that's when we can't get away AKA trapped) so she can decide wether to call me or not.
I realize I can't take a shortcut for doing this. I just have to surpass my irrational fear and speak up, but it's hard, specially for a previously very shy person.