Difficulty making a connection



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
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I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?


A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?


IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2016 11:36 pm 
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Hi. So, as the title sais, I have difficulty making connections. And with this I don't refer to girls only. I'm speaking in a general sense, here.

I generally don't have a problem meeting new people and socializing, and becoming buddies quickly. But when I start getting close to someone, I tend to stall. For the most part, I can't maintain a relationship.

Let's say I get along very well with people I met at work, school or some other way... A while after I leave that environnent the relationship tends to fall apart and people start to "break the connection". This is, mostly, the reason I don't have a lot people consistently present in my life and I'd like to change that. Because that afects me psichologically too... When this kind of stuff happens I tend to start depressing and felling down, wondering what's wrong with me. And that sucks at a high level of suckiness...

Well, I would like to read what you think about this. I know it's not exactly related specifically with pickup, but I guess it ends up "pre-requisite", of sorts. (about being mentally good with ourselves).

Thanks, in advance.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 3:04 am 
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I guess you have to keep pushing that "stalling" behavior to "positive behavior". I used to be like that. I shut down if people got too all up in my business. Nowadays I take it in stride. You'll be happier in the long run when you have a solid support network .

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 1:48 pm 
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taiko wrote:
Hi. So, as the title sais, I have difficulty making connections. And with this I don't refer to girls only. I'm speaking in a general sense, here.

I generally don't have a problem meeting new people and socializing, and becoming buddies quickly. But when I start getting close to someone, I tend to stall. For the most part, I can't maintain a relationship.

Let's say I get along very well with people I met at work, school or some other way... A while after I leave that environnent the relationship tends to fall apart and people start to "break the connection". This is, mostly, the reason I don't have a lot people consistently present in my life and I'd like to change that. Because that afects me psichologically too... When this kind of stuff happens I tend to start depressing and felling down, wondering what's wrong with me. And that sucks at a high level of suckiness...

Well, I would like to read what you think about this. I know it's not exactly related specifically with pickup, but I guess it ends up "pre-requisite", of sorts. (about being mentally good with ourselves).

Thanks, in advance.


Hi Taiko, do you like taiko drums? I enjoy playing them myself. If you live in Japan like I do, we can hangout as friends.

I used to have this same issue as you but I have made some serious changes to my mindset and my lifestyle over the years.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:33 pm 
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Mr. Assertive wrote:
I guess you have to keep pushing that "stalling" behavior to "positive behavior". I used to be like that. I shut down if people got too all up in my business. Nowadays I take it in stride. You'll be happier in the long run when you have a solid support network .


Johnny Utah wrote:
Hi Taiko, do you like taiko drums? I enjoy playing them myself. If you live in Japan like I do, we can hangout as friends.

I used to have this same issue as you but I have made some serious changes to my mindset and my lifestyle over the years.

Hi. Sorry, I'm from Portugal. Not even close. haha

And answering to both of you, I'm sociable (not very, but somewhat). But when it comes to girls I'm attracted to, I just end up not making a move because I'm too nervous to do it.

For instance, right now there is a girl I'm attracted to that works near a place I study at night. I go there sometimes (sometimes I only go there after 2/3 weeks, because I'm busy and I can't go there very often) and from the very first time I went there I felt we made a connection. Even now, every time I go there she smiles a lot and blushes and moves her lips (don't know how to describe it) and stuff. I went there this afternoon just to see was on a shift. And there she was. I went in and I just asked for a cofee. Same thing happened.

When I'm calm and not on that situation, I just say to myself that it's an irrational fear. Because she seems to be as much into me as I'm into her. And because the worst thing that can happen is getting rejected (which is the same as not going in at all). But when I'm there feeling all nervous I can't do it.

I'd thought of asking her for a cup of cofee or something and handing my number to her (I don't want to pressure her on her workplace because that's when we can't get away AKA trapped) so she can decide wether to call me or not.

I realize I can't take a shortcut for doing this. I just have to surpass my irrational fear and speak up, but it's hard, specially for a previously very shy person.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 10:28 pm 
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Location: your mind
You're too negative ... enjoy your life and other people will follow you.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 20, 2016 1:04 am 
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Hello.Sonny wrote:
You're too negative ... enjoy your life and other people will follow you.

Yeah, you're right. I guess in this situation I'm being negative.


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