I went to a nearby bar, wasn't out sarging I just wanted to watch some of the Olympics while I waited for some friends I'd met the night before to arrive. I caught the eye of a girl sitting alone on the other side of the bar from me. She held the eye contact for a few seconds before looking away which I took to be an IOI. I ordered a fresh drink but didn't rush to pay as I wanted to check that she was definitely alone and she didn't have a boyfriend roaming around. I didn't waste too long on this before deciding I'd give it a shot.

I've found that cheesy lines delivered well can be great openers. I'm not so good at routines, I can't make them sound natural, so I prefer to get the girl talking about herself as quick as possible but never let her talk on one topic for too long. I find I keep their attention and interest far better if I don't let the subject we're talking about dry out and instead go off on a tangent about something she's already mentioned. This is something I learned from observing my ex talking to other girls.

So I said something along the lines of 'I didn't want to come over and talk to you because someone as pretty as you must have a boyfriend on his way to meet you'. Not my exact words but whatever I said worked because she giggled and said that there was no boyfriend coming to meet her. She was waiting for friends but they were late. I was also waiting for friends who hadn't arrived so I suggested we keep each other company and she said she'd like that. So we started talking about whatever. I'm new to the island so I asked her to recommend places she likes going out with the intention of leading her towards us going somewhere together which seemed all good. We were talking and laughing and all in all going really well. I even remembered to put in an FTC which I'm pretty bad at doing.

So anyway. No sticking points so far, going pretty well. I realise now I should have been moving on from interest to attraction by this point but that's not what the problem turned out to be. A guy from a group of guys at the other end of the bar came over. She seemed to recognise him and I politely turned away to order another drink and give them a moment to talk before reasserting myself in the conversation.

But before I could do that he left and she wasn't the same after that. She was still being receptive and laughing a bit to things I said but she was far less inclined to talk. She then said that her friends should have been here by now. I asked when they were due as I probably wouldn't be wouldn't be around much longer (I was reaching the end of my FTC and I wanted to make it look genuine in the hope that I'd get a number close, or even better move onto another bar together). She then said 'my husband is due soon.'

I guess I didn't hide my surprise too well as she said 'yeah I've got a husband'. That's when I realised that her left hand had been hidden for the whole time I'd been talking to her, she kept her arm down in her lap under the bar. (Even when I left I didn't get a chance to check if she was actually wearing a ring.) So after she said that we talked for maybe another minute before I decided to leave which was good timing as her guy friend came over again and introduced himself to me then took her attention away from me.

So which part of this am I supposed to learn from? She clearly wasn't on her own in the bar if other people in the room knew her. Was she actually married? Maybe she was married but didn't want me to know and maybe it was one of her husband's friends that came over and spoke to her. Or maybe the guy was just some guy and I'm making excuses for where I screwed up.

I read somewhere that humans are complicated beings and trying to rationalize actions can be an exercise in futility especially with women as they seem to be the most complicated.

With that said, I think you should look at the positives with the fact that you were able to approach, start a conversation, and sounds like she was engaged with the conversation. A lot of guys struggle just with the approaching.

In terms of the girl, it seems like she is married and bored at home based on your statement about the ring not being visible. This is pure speculation but its hard to now what truly transpired with so many unknowns. If she is truly married, then probably not worth the trouble.

At any rate, I wouldnt read too much into this interaction and continue doing what you do best.

She was open... but someone was there that knew her and knew she was married most likely, so she couldnt be open and friendly as she was because it would create issues for her later on, next time, try not to be shocked, it doesnt matter if she is single, hooked up or married, just be social have fun and let it go where it goes, just be discreet.

I normally tell girls that after a hard day/week of work, im just out to be social and have a good time and mention that im an EMT and it was a hard week, then i thrown in a couple of funny EMS runs i've had, the girls normally cant get enough and then i start "Kino" by explaining that touch is import in my line of work, and i show them how it works.