So lately I've been doing some inner game searching putting myself back together after a relationship ended. I also have been working on some personal goals and a business... while working on myself and improving myself I remembered some old books I had on the shelf... The Power of Habit, Willpower, Self-Discipline.... but one thing that I recently started studying is Grit... and GROWTH MINDSET.

Now Grit is that little voice that those people you never understood have in their head that pushes a Michael Phelps to swim longer than everyone with DELIBERATE PRACTICE (more on this in a second). Grit is an individuals combination of Passion and perseverance that allows people to do things nobody wants to do to win. That kid that got up and jogged in the morning before school, and did an extra mile after Football practice so he was always in the best shape on the field. If you love Eric Thomas here he is basically describing this: https://youtu.be/9AEigQYfhJw?t=14m24s

That drive.... that desire that hunger to succeed at what it is you want... people that have grit aren't always the most talented... they are the Emmitt Smith's, the men that work harder with DELIBERATE Practice. Now what's the difference between Deliberate Practice and practicing? If you do deliberate practice for running for instance, you pay attention to your form, you pay attention to your time, you pay attention to your distance, but you work and focus on deliberately improving one small area that overall improves everything. So for pick up for instance. Say your already pretty comfortable once in a conversation but you struggle at consistently opening women well, you would work on approaching women. Then when you got good at approaching women, you'd start escalating and realized you had trouble creating sexual tension.... well then you'd focus deliberate practice to improve your sexual tension and escalation skills.

Deliberate practice is done with high focus and the intention to improve one aspect of the thing your mastering. It's an important part of what world champions and world class athletes, these people practice differently, they don't practice looking to be good at something, they practice to improve every day. To get better every day, they focus on fixing small aspects everyday... if you want to get great with women, you don't do it all at once. And that was one thing I was trying to explain to a lot of guys, if you want to get great at anything it takes time and you never do it all at once. You master little things and as you grow you master more. Then you master more, before you know it you are very good in LOTS of different areas but you are always get better... then at some point you'll start look at getting better at sex or relationships... and have to focus on improving in that area. The key is to always be progressing with each practice. Focus on your weaknesses and make them strengths.

Now a Growth Mindset is where you are focused not on how good you are... or the raw Talent you have. You are focused on the effort... getting better. Someone who has a Growth Mindset loves criticism because they realize that the answer is simply "Not Yet"... it's never failure it's oh... I just need to do something differently. If I do it differently then I will get better results. This is often what is olders guys try and tell younger guys about rejections when we say who cares. YOU NEED rejection if you want to get better at pick up, you need failure to get better, you need to focus on understanding the wrong things you did and getting better.

So if you want to truly master Pick up, if you want to get amazing with women and all that... I'm going to tell you you're probably lying to me and to you. Those guys that want to get good at women, they do, why? They go out and try, and fail, they journal, they ask questions, they go out and try and fail again, but regardless of how many times they fail... they PERSEVERE! They have an ongoing drive to push past the disappointments. Yes there is going to be disappointments, yes there is going to be pain, yes there is going to be misery... and you need to take it for what it is... room to GROW! If you want to be great at anything you have to be willing to be bad at it... and bad at it again. That's what growing is. When you learned to talk, you said words wrong, when you learned to walk you fell on the ground, when you learned to read you mispronounced words and it was ok... focus on your effort and not your results and your effort will begin to compound as your skill begins to accelerate.

It's ok to be bad with girls guys... the question is can you make it a rewarding experience to get better at the little things... at acquiring the little skills... can you persevere through the hard times? can you be passionate to improve to make yourself amazing through the rejection? Through the heart break? Can you keep pushing yourself toward your goal of being "good with girls" even when it's hard?

So what should you do if you want to get better with women? First Start trying, second start journaling, and three... HOLD ON FOR ONE HELL OF A RIDE! With this mindset you will become great at pick up.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com