Went to hang out with some new friends last night. Ended up sleeping over and fucking the girl who was hosting the hang out.
First I have some questions, and then the bottom part of the post is advice based on what went well for me last night.
I don't think the details are super relevant, the main issue is that I'm super inexperienced with sex and didn't have it drilled into my head that I have to be fairly dominant in bed. So I ended up just concentrating totally on giving HER pleasure, at my own expense. Besides sucking for me, I'm pretty sure this strategy also made it a bit lame for her (although she definitely orgasmed at least once). This has happened to me on multiple occasions with different girls (having sex that consists of me getting the girl off with fingers or tongue but nothing but a handjob for me), so I am sure the problem is on my end.
Having done some research today I'm pretty sure I was just too passive, and waiting on her to make moves too much. What do you guys think?
Also, I would like to fuck this girl again (properly next time) so do you have any advice for how to recover from this? I did a pretty good job of giving her a good time but also gave the impression of being kinda lame (non-dominant) sexually. I think if I can get another chance at her I can really do a lot better.
And I guess I did well enough that there are some guys on here who could learn something if I give some details about what I did RIGHT:
-At the beginning of the night she was on the fence about liking either me or another guy. She slept with me and he left sad, the only thing I did different from the other guy was #1 touch her as much as possible (which I actually suck at, but still better than ZERO touch) and #2 hit on another girl in the group simultaneously.
-Alcohol helped us both a lot. I normally don't drink (ie. I haven't been drunk in many years) but I am just getting into developing my game and right now I am just trying to get more sexual experience as I think a lack of confidence there is my main limiting factor, so a little alcohol to seal the deal seemed like a reasonable compromise in this situation.
-I am very good at foreplay, fingers, mouth, etc. despite huge lack of experience and this is just because I followed the sequence of escalation advice you find on forums like this (ie. when to start touching which parts of her body) AND I am constantly experimenting and constantly observing her reactions to what I do very closely. There are a million different ways to interact physically with a woman and she will like some of them WAY more than others... so basically every few seconds I make slight changes (change the amount of pressure, change between soft and hard, change movement pattern, change positions (don't do this too often, it just interferes)) to find the stuff that she REALLY likes. If I did not constantly try new things I would have missed out on a lot of little tricks that REALLY get the girl going. And I also pay attention to what turns ME on and what feels good for ME: #1 thing is constant variety, change. When you find something that she likes do it for a little bit, sensing her reactions, until her reactions fade slightly (usually 5-30 seconds) and then start trying different things again (for maybe 10 seconds each) until you find another thing she likes. If you find something she really likes you can always return to it for a bit if you can't seem to find anything new she likes.