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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:52 am 
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My girlfriend of just under a year was being a bit flirty (or maybe the proper term is friendly) last night in Halloween weekend with other guys. To give you some background I took her virginity, she's the conservative type which is what I value (I'm the only guy she's kissed), when she talks to guys (At least in front of me) she keeps it very professional which is what made her stand out to me.

Before we started dating I told her I'm not okay with my girlfriend drinking if I'm not there, and she was okay with that. Last night we drank at her place. Went out and every single guy she knew (3-5 guys) she seemed to sound so excited and whatnot to see them. (In the pickup world they'd call these Indicators of Interest? Or am I freaking myself out and she was just being friendly?) I had her hand the whole time, so the furthest she went was verbally sounding so excited to see her guy friends. No hugs or anything. When she spoke to these guys she wasn't hitting on them or anything... it's just the way she seemed so excited pissed me off lol.

We're both middle eastern so we're not as open as Americans with the opposite sex. After we came home, She cried last night and threw up. She said this was the first time she's been this drunk, has never thrown up before, etc. (She's young, I believe her) She said she has known me for a year and that I should know she's not like that with guys. (And from what I've seen this is correct. She's very professional with guys until now. Keeps convos short. Smiling/laughing to a minimum. No Prolonged eye contact, etc) She kept saying she loves me, thanking me for taking care of her bc she was throwing up etc.

I was wondering if I should be concerned? She says it was the alcohol, but is alcohol an excuse? Or is that what alcohol just does to people it just loosens them up and people become overly friendly? IDK I'm probably fucking tripping. I started mind fucking myself like "Oh if I wasn't there she would've cheated on me probably", but then again if I wasn't there she wouldn't drink period. Ahhhfhghkh sorry this is just my first gf that I fucking can see a future with because she has NO PAST and that's WTF I value a lot. I just need someone to post to give me some clarity. Help me out guys afkhgkhkghlsdfj fack!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 5:14 am 
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Quote:
When she spoke to these guys she wasn't hitting on them or anything... it's just the way she seemed so excited pissed me off lol.
This seems to be the biggest source of your frustration?

I'd chill out man, hopefully she learned her lesson with the over-drinking and her acting friendly and excited isn't a reason to freak out. Did she know those guys well? Maybe they were old friends who she was excited to see - no romantic history (which should be a given based on what you said).

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 7:43 am 
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OP do you think you're maybe too controlling?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:42 am 
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When I was in high school I went to a dance with my then girlfriend. The night was going fine, but then she agreed to a dance with another guy. Me being the jealous type, I was upset with her. She didn't like my jealous side, and we had a fight that night and the relationship never recovered.

It sounds like your girlfriend is very remorseful about the whole situation which means she cares for you and wants to be in this relationship. The fact that she was hyper friendly with EVERYONE says that the intention was innocent and wasn't an attempt to get into anyones pants. People react to alcohol in different ways. I know people, and at times have felt this feeling myself, that behave EXACTLY like how your girlfriend did. Everyone becomes my best friend. And I try not to sleep my best friends. Most them aren't that attractive. Most of them are also dudes.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 3:25 pm 
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Yeah I can be a bit controlling. But at least I can admit it. I'm working on it tho honestly.

I guess it's just weird to see your conservative type gf be friendly for the first time, ya know? And the pua community doesn't help because even tho I agree she was being friendly they might say it's IOIs. How can you tell the difference? Obviously no other guy wants his girl to be giving IOIs, but I honestly think pua saying everything a girl practically does is a IOI or IOD may be playing a part in me feeling insecure.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 4:14 pm 
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Quote:
Yeah I can be a bit controlling. But at least I can admit it. I'm working on it tho honestly.

I guess it's just weird to see your conservative type gf be friendly for the first time, ya know? And the pua community doesn't help because even tho I agree she was being friendly they might say it's IOIs. How can you tell the difference? Obviously no other guy wants his girl to be giving IOIs, but I honestly think pua saying everything a girl practically does is a IOI or IOD may be playing a part in me feeling insecure.
1. Your girl is going to be interested in other people. Her emotions don't automatically lock off when she's in a relationship. The point is what she DOES with that interest.

2. If all your girl did was sound excited to see some friends, then you're definitely taking it too far.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 6:23 pm 
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Stop confusing insecurity with reality. Your imagined flirtatious behavior was likely nothing more than her being friendly.

What's she supposed to do? Play statue? Your going to end up sabotaging it.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:24 pm 
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Holding her hand the entire time? That's really insecure.

I let my girlfriend run wild in the club if I'm in the mood. It's fun to watch her let loose and be free. I'll let her dance and flirt with whoever she wants (men and women), and she always comes back to me begging for sex at the end of the night.

Freedom is hot.

Face your insecurities, and twist them into play time and fun. Love is not serious.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:34 pm 
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Don't mention it to her, don't show anger or insecurity, if she mentions it just say ''oh that, i thought it was kinda cute''.


If you show jealousy here she will use it over you forever, so that when an instance may arise where you are justified in calling her out on her behavior she will fall back on ''your paranoid, over protective, jealous and this incident will be thrown back at you as an example


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