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When the assertive chick leaves when you have your personality issues, or leaves when you're overreactive, or leaves when she has to help you financially, I think you'll look for this chick.
Just because she has a low drive and isn't doing great financially and doesn't work out and isn't on his success level doesn't mean she's a loser. Not everybody's destined to become lawyers, doctors and engineers.
Then find somebody on a level similar to yours. So you don't end up down the road with, "But I'm fitter than you, more motivated than you, I offer more, I do more, better than you," etc. It just ends up in bitter angry resentment and that's not love.
Secondly, taking into account what neo87 wrote, sometimes different personalities complement each other. You can't have two dominant people butting head all the time competing for who's number 1. Sometimes it works, but often times, it doesn't.
Lastly, I think you should break up with her.
But just remember this, that
sometimes those successful go-getter women aren't necessarily better. Sure, they may have a bigger drive, bigger goals, more motivation. But at a cost. They may not dedicate as much time to the relationship and to you, they may not be as patient and loving, they may not care as much, you might come home to an empty plate instead of full cooked meals, they may place their careers above you and the relationship, etc.
Well, gotta give you credit, you get a lot of bashing by people in other threads for your posts and from me too.. Glad to see a decent reply and not too much fighting afterwards.
Dragula still has some beef for you.
OP took it to the extreme, I was surprised that he literally stood up from the computer after reading the posts reassuring him that the best thing is to break up and immediately out of the blue bring this up with an ultimatum for her. You can't tell someone suddenly if they want to be with you they have to change and put all the pressure to her to make a decision on the spot. That's cruel man.
A breakup is a breakup and it is not easy, however you should have sat down, thought about it and after coming to a decision, talk it with her and let her know how you feel and that you would break up regardless of if she promises to change or not. Because let's say you both agree to try again, she might put some effort in the beginning into becoming what you would like her to be BUT.. let's be realistic; you were 9 years together, can she really change. Doubt it.
You are making the right decision, she might have been supporting you and she was good with you however you have grown to be two completely different people and it is best for you to continue in different paths, so that you do not resent her for holding you back. You are 25 and a have a long road ahead.