It sounded to me like it was an open relationship now. If the rule is you tell her who you're sleeping with yet can sleep around... That sounds like an open relationship. So yall are going to stay in contact long distance?

I don't think we really understood what we were saying at the time. It's pretty obvious that this relationship is done. I don't really see the point of holding onto it as if there was something still there. I'm not intending to continue to talk long distance. If she texts me, I'll entertain some conversation. I'm not expecting either one of us to continue to act like we are dating. If I feel like it's a positive thing to talk to her, then I will. If I don't, then I won't. I don't want to feel anymore obligations to act a certain way to make this work. Now it's down to whether I am attracted to the idea of anything at all, while knowing that this is unlikely to ever return to a relationship, especially after knowing more of who she is now.

Down the road, perhaps a FWB is possible, but only after you've cleared your head from attachment. Easier said then done.

Fuck other girls until she is meh. You have the skills. Use 'em.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So today is my last day here. Should this whole thing be cleared up? I definitely agree I have an emotional attachment still here. It's making things more difficult for me than if I had cut it clean off. I'm not sure why but I want to try this for the experience though. I have some deep seated emotional hot buttons that revolve around my attachment and holding on too tightly and being afraid of losing her to someone else that I actually think this might be a good way to become exposed to this and learn a healthier middle ground. I seem to always get too intense at times. By cutting off the emotional attachment I figure I'll go back to being cold and uninterested, but I always return to the over interested and puppy love stage because I never find the right balance. I understand this could quite literally be stabbing myself in the heart, but I want to be able to handle this so that I don't have so much anxiety next time about these things.

I see the value in growth here. This is about creating a healthier relationship for the future. I don't feel a need to be with her anymore. As in, try when she isn't trying. I already feel myself pushing her away more and more. I think that the friends with benefits idea of viable because we see each other every month or so for the next few months. I have plenty of time to gain perspective on what I want from this otherwise.

I think the big distinction is that we won't go radio silent. That's just about the only thing that appears to be different than if I cut her out completely. Maybe I'm being wrong for this and I should just kick her to the curb. I guess I'm trying to make value out of the situation when really I should cut all ties and find more valuable women.