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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 9:55 pm 
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Quick update on our texting, following the last transcript (I've included the initial texting to make it easier to follow):

ME: Hey Y, wsup?
ME: I'll be in Paris early next week..
ME: Would you like to have dinner on Monday!
Girl: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
ME: No problem, I'm not jealous ;-)
Girl: That's great

Next Day:
ME: Will organize dinner then and let you know shortly
ME: Any food allergies, fears or restrictions I need to be made aware of?
Girl: Food - not yet, Fears- impossible "i'm russian"; restrictions - for sure - but you r ok
ME: Hahaha
ME: Looking forward

Next Day:
Girl: Hi, my girlfriend is not coming for dinner
ME: Hi
ME: I guess my last Instagram pic scared her away ;-)
ME: Good thing you're fearless
Girl: I haven't seen what is your Instagram
Girl: Or Picture
ME: It's better this way. I have until monday to clean it up and show you then
ME: What is your IG name?
Girl: I don't have pictures
Girl: I have Facebook


Last edited by msamc on Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 9:58 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
MARIA: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
Everyone,

This is the line that made me suspect that this was primarily a logistical matter. There may have been something lost in translation (I guess this was originally in French because Paris), but when someone says that their friend is "in town that day," it usually means that the friend is coming from far away and they already had those plans way ahead of time. The friend is likely sleeping over and it would be very strange to expect the friend to "make other plans" when it's entirely possible that the friend doesn't even know anyone else in the city.

Hey Chief, yeah indeed!

As for the average English grammar, the texting is actually in English, but it is her 2nd or 3rd language.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:04 pm 
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Yeah I can see the argument for logistics, but from her messages, I'm just not seeing interest. She's introduced to him by a friend. Then 2 weeks later the 3 go to dinner again. Then AFTER dinner, he asks the friend for the number and some shit about "you 2 would get on well." THEN its a few days of texting. So it's a soft number close...then I see he's sending 3 unanswered messages and her responses are pretty laid back. The whole thing just sounds pretty friendly to me. Sure, the friend being there could be logistics, I'd say even if the friend werent coming, OP is communicating more as a friend.

neo87, I should clarify 2 details:

1) I do not live in the same city (Paris) - which explains why it took 2 weeks for us to meet again.
2) The "3 unanswered messages" were all sent together... It's just my style of texting. So they were not technically "unanswered".

I have posted the remainder of the chat, I'm sure you guys will have lots to talk about


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:12 pm 
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I don't know if it was a logistical problem or in the friendzone. I do know that the OP must have found this girl attractive or else he wouldn't have asked her out to dinner. Instead he waited for the friend to say that she thought the two would have gotten along well. So no moves made the first time and then no moves made the second time, so if she found him initially attractive the feeling may have worn off by the time he decided to ask her out to dinner.

Have to mention that Jenny, who initially introduced me to Maria [I'm using aliases just so it's clear] is a girl I hooked up with in the past. I have just become single, and Jenny had been trying to see me a few times for coffee...

So I figured Jenny was into me and that Maria was just there as a winggirl... Basically, the best strategy for me when I was sitting with them both was to be cool and funny (and actually even show that I was not trying too hard to be attractive - very subtle way of negging a very attractive girl).


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:19 pm 
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I would've said "no". Also your idea would've been fine.

Point is you shouldn't have asked her out like a loose canon. Letting girls string you along is just as bad as going all in before you even see your hand. Way too soon, as obviously she wasn't comfortable enough with the idea.

R.C,

I did not ask her out like a loose canon. Jenny, her best friend, basically told me she introduced us hoping we'd hook up... As far as I'm concerned, she did not text me that out of the blue... If she told me that, I'm certain her friend was aware of that.

Also, I asked Jenny specifically if "she wouldn't mind if I asked Maria out" as a way to let Maria know what my intentions were (It is obvious to me that Jenny was going to share the information with Maria). Therefore, Maria accepted a dinner 'knowing' (most likely) what my intentions were.

Facebook, Instagram, Friends' Word of Mouth are all means of communication and sources of information that complement texting, speaking, body language...


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:35 am 
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Ok man, suit yourself.

Let us know how it went.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 12:07 pm 
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Lol. I gotta say what popped into my head reading this; "Damn...these people make things overly complicated."

Like, a girl you hooked up with in the past likes you, so she brings an ATTRACTIVE WINGGIRL? Sounds dumb on her part, whatever happened to just netflix and chill? And if you thought she was chasing you, why wouldnt the best strategy be TO HOOK UP WITH HER (original girl)?
Quote:
So I figured Jenny was into me and that Maria was just there as a winggirl... Basically, the best strategy for me when I was sitting with them both was to be cool and funny (and actually even show that I was not trying too hard to be attractive - very subtle way of negging a very attractive girl).
I get it if you met up and decided you wanted the other chick...but if thats the case, leaving it to chance with asking the original girl who likes you for the 2nd girl's number isnt a good move imo.

I mean, it just sounds really inefficient on all sides. I'd think if you wanted to hook up with the 1st girl, you'd just hook up. And if you wanted to hook up with the new girl, you'd just hook up.

But yeah let us know


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 2:52 pm 
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Quote:
Lol. I gotta say what popped into my head reading this; "Damn...these people make things overly complicated."

Like, a girl you hooked up with in the past likes you, so she brings an ATTRACTIVE WINGGIRL? Sounds dumb on her part, whatever happened to just netflix and chill? And if you thought she was chasing you, why wouldnt the best strategy be TO HOOK UP WITH HER (original girl)?


I get it if you met up and decided you wanted the other chick...but if thats the case, leaving it to chance with asking the original girl who likes you for the 2nd girl's number isnt a good move imo.

I mean, it just sounds really inefficient on all sides. I'd think if you wanted to hook up with the 1st girl, you'd just hook up. And if you wanted to hook up with the new girl, you'd just hook up.

But yeah let us know

Will do. I think you're forgetting I'd already hooked up with Jenny in the past.... And the first time we all met was for an afternoon tea in a hotel lobby...

I think you're looking at this in a "bar/nightclub setting" when it is really the opposite.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 3:04 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Lol. I gotta say what popped into my head reading this; "Damn...these people make things overly complicated."

Like, a girl you hooked up with in the past likes you, so she brings an ATTRACTIVE WINGGIRL? Sounds dumb on her part, whatever happened to just netflix and chill? And if you thought she was chasing you, why wouldnt the best strategy be TO HOOK UP WITH HER (original girl)?


I get it if you met up and decided you wanted the other chick...but if thats the case, leaving it to chance with asking the original girl who likes you for the 2nd girl's number isnt a good move imo.

I mean, it just sounds really inefficient on all sides. I'd think if you wanted to hook up with the 1st girl, you'd just hook up. And if you wanted to hook up with the new girl, you'd just hook up.

But yeah let us know

Will do. I think you're forgetting I'd already hooked up with Jenny in the past.... And the first time we all met was for an afternoon tea in a hotel lobby...

I think you're looking at this in a "bar/nightclub setting" when it is really the opposite.

No.. I was fully assuming it was something light. If first girl wanted to see you to hookup then bringing a friend was dumb. If you wanted to hook up with her, should've done so after the tea. If you were interested in the friend, should've just asked her number from her in person. If you thought first girl was meeting you cause she liked you, why not just meet at night or at her place? What I'm saying is whether you wanted the first girl or the second or the first girl wanted you for herself or for her friend...it sounds like a lot of unnecessary stuff.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2016 4:59 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:

I don't know if it was a logistical problem or in the friendzone. I do know that the OP must have found this girl attractive or else he wouldn't have asked her out to dinner. Instead he waited for the friend to say that she thought the two would have gotten along well. So no moves made the first time and then no moves made the second time, so if she found him initially attractive the feeling may have worn off by the time he decided to ask her out to dinner.

Have to mention that Jenny, who initially introduced me to Maria [I'm using aliases just so it's clear] is a girl I hooked up with in the past. I have just become single, and Jenny had been trying to see me a few times for coffee...

So I figured Jenny was into me and that Maria was just there as a winggirl... Basically, the best strategy for me when I was sitting with them both was to be cool and funny (and actually even show that I was not trying too hard to be attractive - very subtle way of negging a very attractive girl).
I fully understood that you hooked up with this girl before. That doesn't stop you from flirting with both. In fact it can help you because women are competitive even with men that they aren't initially attracted to if they are uncertain about which woman he's more into.

I'm not understanding your though process of negs because whatever you were trying to do is backwards thinking.

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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 6:45 am 
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Overthinking is a killer. I am going with she was telling the truth. And the picture, the guy may have been Jenny's friend, not Maria's. More overthinking. Over Overthinking. Chill. Think about what is next before this date happens. Then you are relaxed. And if the date sucks, NEXT. Move on.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 7:42 pm 
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Quote:
Quick update on our texting, following the last transcript (I've included the initial texting to make it easier to follow):

ME: Hey Y, wsup?
ME: I'll be in Paris early next week..
ME: Would you like to have dinner on Monday!
Girl: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
ME: No problem, I'm not jealous ;-)
Girl: That's great

Next Day:
ME: Will organize dinner then and let you know shortly
ME: Any food allergies, fears or restrictions I need to be made aware of?
Girl: Food - not yet, Fears- impossible "i'm russian"; restrictions - for sure - but you r ok
ME: Hahaha
ME: Looking forward

Next Day:
Girl: Hi, my girlfriend is not coming for dinner
ME: Hi
ME: I guess my last Instagram pic scared her away ;-)
ME: Good thing you're fearless
Girl: I haven't seen what is your Instagram
Girl: Or Picture
ME: It's better this way. I have until monday to clean it up and show you then
ME: What is your IG name?
Girl: I don't have pictures
Girl: I have Facebook
Do you always over text?

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