Feeling Hopeless With My Progress, Anyone Relate?



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:37 pm 
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I have been reading much works on game and how to have more women in your life for about a year now. Some things have instantly works for me while others have taken time. At some point, i was reading far more than actually getting out there which i knew was a problem.

Recently, I started putting most of the things together: body language, inner game, and overall bettering who "I" really was. I understand that the key to success with women is to outright live an attractive lifestyle that naturally attracts. Also I don't consider myself ugly or a 10 but most people tell me i am pretty handsome.

Still, i find myself struggling. Most of the sex i have had has been with aggressive women who approached and seduced me. When I'm doing the work, it seems like I can only get as far as a makeout maybe. After i get a girls number, texting usually goes nowhere and a lot of girls pretty much flake.

Recently, i have had the most women in my circle in my entire life. Despite all the social credibility and having a good sense of style, i still seem to struggle when it comes to attracting and actually getting somewhere with a girl.

It's really frustrating because i feel like i am getting no progress while other guys who are just simply very attractive but have shitty personality seem to get it so much easier. Girls text them with ease, look for them and they pretty much do nothing, entirely because of their stellar looks.

Anyone ever had this problem and still ended up getting to where they wanted to be in life regarding women?

---Edit---
To add to this, I am also more dedicated to my career and building myself up than actually pursuing women. I just wonder, how successful and internally strong do i have to become till i can actually start seeing some kind of success with women. I'm sure all other guys agree, women just make us feel good and are great complements to our lives.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 4:51 am 
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I used to be the same way and spend countless hours studying and reading material rather than applying it. The only way to progress is to start taking action and work on each step, otherwise the information will all just be clutter in your brain with no reference experiences or connections.

It's also not helpful to compare yourself to others. You should focus on making yourself better. If you see someone else having success, remain non-judgmental and unbiased and try to figure what they are doing right that is causing women to be attracting to him. Women all respond similarly to the attractive qualities in a man. How does he carry himself? How does he interact with them?

In short, focus on bettering yourself with small progresses each day. Maximize your attractive qualifies with the right fashion, confident body language, etc. Get comfortable cold approaching, then transition into a normal conversation, qualify her, break rapport, isolate/escalate, and pull.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:11 pm 
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Hey dude,

I feel your pain as it is something that used to effect me on a daily basis when I was first starting out.

The way I got passed this was nothing to do with changing my structure or "game", but instead changing my relationship to "game" and getting girls.

The entire PUA industry is built on the foundation of men desperately needing to fix this part of their lives. It is understandable, as having attractive women in your life as a man is an essential and natural need. So, with this being stated, the whole process of getting better, interacting with and seducing women is taken SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY!

Guys make pick up(yes, even "natural game") so god damn clinical, that any element of fun and enjoyment is sucked out of it due to the self placed pressure. It becomes a means to an end which most guys will spend their lives chasing the monkey on their back, never getting there.

My biggest realization....was to stop taking any of this too seriously. Stop placing seriousness on any one conversation or girl. Stop going in with a desired outcome you must impressively manouvre yourself towards with stealth like perfection, because that shit does not exist.

Now when I interact with girls, it is only to test the vibe, to see if we can have some chemistry. Yes i am attracted to her, but thats all I am feeling. I do not give myself a goal to complete or even to close. Closing happens, only if I enjoy her and I want to see her again or sleep with her.

I never go in to pick up or seduce...only to charm. To have a charming, playful, and flirty interaction, with zero negative pressure on me OR the girl. Negative pressure is created by the pressure you place on yourself before you even get to her. Women feel it, and they want to get away from it.

Have you ever been around a really uncomortable guy or girl, it feels awkward as balls, and you want to get away....this is what the majority of pick-up creates in its students.

Your only job(in my experience and eyes), is to be polarizing, and simply show up, progressing only when you feel the desire to.

Have fun, but not in a needy clown way.

Keep it light, and the huge approach numbers will decrease substantially. I know this to be true as I have been coaching men for the previous few years full time in this exact area.

Best of luck mate!
Chris :wink:

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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 6:27 pm 
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Makelessmore wrote:
I have been reading much works on game and how to have more women in your life for about a year now. Some things have instantly works for me while others have taken time. At some point, i was reading far more than actually getting out there which i knew was a problem.

Recently, I started putting most of the things together: body language, inner game, and overall bettering who "I" really was. I understand that the key to success with women is to outright live an attractive lifestyle that naturally attracts. Also I don't consider myself ugly or a 10 but most people tell me i am pretty handsome.

Still, i find myself struggling. Most of the sex i have had has been with aggressive women who approached and seduced me. When I'm doing the work, it seems like I can only get as far as a makeout maybe. After i get a girls number, texting usually goes nowhere and a lot of girls pretty much flake.

Recently, i have had the most women in my circle in my entire life. Despite all the social credibility and having a good sense of style, i still seem to struggle when it comes to attracting and actually getting somewhere with a girl.

It's really frustrating because i feel like i am getting no progress while other guys who are just simply very attractive but have shitty personality seem to get it so much easier. Girls text them with ease, look for them and they pretty much do nothing, entirely because of their stellar looks.

Anyone ever had this problem and still ended up getting to where they wanted to be in life regarding women?

---Edit---
To add to this, I am also more dedicated to my career and building myself up than actually pursuing women. I just wonder, how successful and internally strong do i have to become till i can actually start seeing some kind of success with women. I'm sure all other guys agree, women just make us feel good and are great complements to our lives.


Quote:
other guys who are just simply very attractive but have shitty personality seem to get it so much easier. Girls text them with ease, look for them and they pretty much do nothing, entirely because of their stellar looks.

Anyone ever had this problem and still ended up getting to where they wanted to be in life regarding women?


Yeah those "other guys" have it so easy don't they?

Here's a tip: stop focusing on what OTHER people are doing and the success that THEY are having. You are not in their shoes, you don't know what they went through, and feeling jealous of THEIR success is ridiculous.

Seriously. If you've only been seriously approaching for a few months, just sit back and keep working at it. Rome wasn't built in a day, and becoming good with women isn't something that's going to happen over the course of a couple days or weeks.

Continue putting the fucking effort in, concentrate on hitting the targets you set for YOURSELF, and stop being jealous of other people's success.


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PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:05 pm 
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Thanks a lot gentlemen


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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2015 5:28 pm 
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Makelessmore wrote:
I have been reading much works on game and how to have more women in your life for about a year now. Some things have instantly works for me while others have taken time. At some point, i was reading far more than actually getting out there which i knew was a problem.

Recently, I started putting most of the things together: body language, inner game, and overall bettering who "I" really was. I understand that the key to success with women is to outright live an attractive lifestyle that naturally attracts. Also I don't consider myself ugly or a 10 but most people tell me i am pretty handsome.

Still, i find myself struggling. Most of the sex i have had has been with aggressive women who approached and seduced me. When I'm doing the work, it seems like I can only get as far as a makeout maybe. After i get a girls number, texting usually goes nowhere and a lot of girls pretty much flake.

Recently, i have had the most women in my circle in my entire life. Despite all the social credibility and having a good sense of style, i still seem to struggle when it comes to attracting and actually getting somewhere with a girl.

It's really frustrating because i feel like i am getting no progress while other guys who are just simply very attractive but have shitty personality seem to get it so much easier. Girls text them with ease, look for them and they pretty much do nothing, entirely because of their stellar looks.

Anyone ever had this problem and still ended up getting to where they wanted to be in life regarding women?

---Edit---
To add to this, I am also more dedicated to my career and building myself up than actually pursuing women. I just wonder, how successful and internally strong do i have to become till i can actually start seeing some kind of success with women. I'm sure all other guys agree, women just make us feel good and are great complements to our lives.


Good day my friend.

If what you say is true, it means that so far, you are doing something right.

The last step, really the final piece of the puzzle is to just let go!

What this means is this: You are attached to outcome. Now, most (I would go so far as to say all) in this community who throw that term around don't actually understand it. Why? because they view it as a tactic, just another weapon to add to the arsenal.

Renunciation is so much more than that. It's a profound spiritual concept that will lead to actual liberation. You are anxious because you want results. You get disappointed because you want results. You hurt because you want results.

However, when you achieve a state of desirelessness, that is to say, you are completely at ease with whatever comes to you, you achieve peace.

That peace is a feeling of joy and abundance, and that feeling of abundance brings about... MORE abundance. You know that guy who'se just always in a good mood and good things just keep happening to him? It's like he's magnetic. Yeah. Most guys will chase abundance, not understanding how contradictory that is. It would be like trying to cut a knife... It just makes no sense!

Live in abundance, here, now.
Stop clinging to yourself, stop chasing and just invite. That's all you have to do. Have no agenda, no expectations, just invite and see what happens.

Best
Mack

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 06, 2015 9:58 pm 
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Hey superstar,

I hear you there. Don't worry tho. Best thing I found when I hit stages like that was to just stop trying. Stop trying anything - When I did that it was soo much more easier for me to naturally internalise all that I had learnt then naturally I just used what was best for me.

Never take anything as a sign of failure. It's all just part of climbing the mountain. The trick about confidence is it always keep's growing - you don't need to measure it like "Oh now I have the right amount". You just keep getting more and more - then just go for what your ready to go for and push your self when you can.

With the texting you want to do just 3 things:
- make them feel
- connect with them
- set up the date

When you make them feel pick a LOL moment or even just make it up! Like: "Just saw an 80 year old man wearing shades checking out chicks... made my day" - Rob Judge (thanks Rob, classic text)

Then you connect with them around the funny situation, then just get practical level set it all up.

Boom!

Yeah WE ALL hit points like this; seems like nothing is working or maybe we are going round in circles - the best way to consider this is look how far you came bro! Consider how you were before you started and see the difference. Like it's always easier to look at the top of the mountain and say I have so much more to go - thing is if you look back you start to see how far you have come. Much more practical !

To be honest - I adore women, I love them. I don't see them as compliments or 'things' I see them as real human beings. Magical wondrous beings that to be honest fascinate me. I also don't care at all what they think of me or how they perceive me - so naturally I can be highly confident with them. The trick is to realise it's not them making us feel good - we are feeling good and they happen to be with us.

Peace,

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:43 am 
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Thanks a lot dude this means a ton


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 09, 2015 7:30 am 
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I know the last the thing people want to hear is "just approach bro" but that is usually the bottle neck with threads like this...

How many girls do you approach a week?

Here is a good example of someone who started off like he was just one of those unlucky guys, but then as we dug further deep, turns out he has approached 20 girls in 6 years;

pua-lounge/pua-self-improvement-and-bitterness-vt191576.html


Around here, everybody seems to be happy with that 40 girls a week is the minimum if you wanna get anyhere with this. I won't lie. It's not easy bro

I know some people reading this will think, "how does 'just approach bro' help with bad inner game?? - well, meditate all you want but meditation ain't gonna lift weights for you at the gym. You need to put the reps in and things are guaranteed to self correct along the way. Same applies to pick up.

You're brain is fried right now. Ignore the top of the mountain for now, just focus on the closest next step and make it the best damn step you have took.

Take a good look in the mirror, make the "burn the boats" decision that this HAS to work or you will be just miserable. Get used to self help. Find new friends that are into self help, Get your ass in the gym, keep onto of style/fashion, approach a few girls on the way to the gym. Be immersed. Reap the rewards. I was much worse than you. I wouldn't even get "aggressive girls" trying to seduce me. I was some shy chode that gave up. Long hair and beard watching movies and porn every night.

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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 4:33 am 
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"Still, i find myself struggling. Most of the sex i have had has been with aggressive women who approached and seduced me."

Women approached you first? What country do you live in where women are this aggressive? I always have to do all the work. It is annoying, but I'm so used to it that I just do what I have to.

I have women send me very subtle IOI's but then they usually can't back it up when I approach them due to them being shy or nervous. I have had situations where I acted on an IOI and it led to a hook up. Were you in a bar or a club when these women approached you first or just outside in the streets? lol

I could be wrong, but I have heard that women in Brazil actually will make the first move on men quite often? Is this true or bs?


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