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Hey guys, im new to the forums and wanted to talk to a few of you guys about a major issue im having with dealing with women in my life.
32 Year Old brainy type(over analysis everything) guy having a big problem getting over major issues with women due to my past experiences with them. Ive realized I have a very toxic mindset when going into interactions with women that seem to spill into my work place, school, and social life as a whole. For the past few years i have had nothing but just negative experiences that were not necessary in conjunction with dating but just basic interactions from working on social projects, or general work place drama that i basically perceive to be the fault of women as a whole. If one could look into my past dealing with them, one would probably trace all this back to 4 major relationships that i have had in the past that started me on this life course to just avoid them altogether but i would argue that is not the case.
Whenever i go into a new environment when women are there, there is always the possibility that i shut off and in most cases, "go into my shell" as one female once said under breathe in regards to a situation that happened between us. i started noticing this a year or so ago but had ignored it until now. I figure this gives off the impression that im super anti social and a whole mess of interpretations of my character i try not to portray.
My over all impressions of women is that they are solipsistic, Narcissistic, and culturally psychopathic in nature but i really do try to over compensate how i express or keep in check that opinion of them that i have when i interact with them on a daily basis with being passive, reserved, stoic, and over all cold. This has been my default attitude in certain environments to help repel them in a certain fashion as to avoid unnecessary conflict but as things have changed in my life due to me being in the military and my physical appearance has changed, this is not working or helping any more.
My style and look have changed and im fit for the first time in my life. Given this i have moved from my state of origin to a new state and the dating culture is different. The thing is all of these changes i cant seem to resolve with my anger, anxiety, and rage at the fact that i went through all that shit years ago and how i still perceive people to be now. Im tryng to get past that anger that builds up every time im in a lounge and do all sorts of things to repel chicks but they always find ways to try to start some shit with me and im like wtf? i don't get it. I was all cool and outgoing when i was younger and you didn't want anything to do with me and now everyone is up in my face like really?
I don't know if i have to come to terms with the possibility that i have a hatred for women that i am not coming to terms with that i might need to move forward or if there is another issue in play. Any suggestions on what steps to take forward on this would be helpful.
Hi Thevisionary!
Based on how you've described your behavior in your post and based on my own experience with similar situations, you might be suffering from the symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
As for my personal experience with being aggressive and repulsive toward women during my late teen years (now I'm a 42 year old guy) in combo with later suffering from both borderline and narcissistic personality disorders that are also characterized with occasional outbursts of uncontrollable anger and rage, I can explain my angry behavior towards women by mainly relating it to the fact that I was brought up by very untrusting parents who also suffer from the symptoms of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders.
Since I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist but just a guy who now has a solid knowledge about borderline and narcissistic personality disorders that I got stuck in and later learned about in relation to my past seduction and sexual addictions, I warmly recommend that you check out Shari Schreiber who's one of the most well-known experts on borderline personality disorder that I've ever come across.
By the way, Shari's a very friendly woman who's got her own website and the forum where you can post any question in a form of a short story (limited to 150 characters) that she personally replies to. The link to her forum where you can directly (with no need to register) send her your question is here:
Shari Schreiber's Forum.
Finally, if you'd like to learn more about my own experience with borderline personality disorder, feel free to ask me anything you like or simply check out some of my latest posts on these forums.
Bruno