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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:33 pm 
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As a short guy, I can be on the end of some derogatory comments from other males, particularly on nights out or at sports events. There have been several times, I am aware a guy is taking a photo of me on their phone.

If this happens, I immediately feel uneasy and my anxiety levels increase. However, this is only temporary, and I can quickly move on and forget about it.

As someone who is trying to stop being "Mr Nice Guy" and be more assertive, is there any masculine responses I can give in these situations (call them out, without being aggressive?/ make light of the situation?).

Or is the best response, to continue to ignore it, and work on not feeling the unease?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:47 pm 
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As a short guy, I can be on the end of some derogatory comments from other males, particularly on nights out or at sports events. There have been several times, I am aware a guy is taking a photo of me on their phone.

If this happens, I immediately feel uneasy and my anxiety levels increase. However, this is only temporary, and I can quickly move on and forget about it.

As someone who is trying to stop being "Mr Nice Guy" and be more assertive, is there any masculine responses I can give in these situations (call them out, without being aggressive?/ make light of the situation?).

Or is the best response, to continue to ignore it, and work on not feeling the unease?
I got some really short friends. We've called them hobbits and all manner of short jokes. Typically it is best to just ignore it, especially with those you don't know, and if you are alone. The reason I say that is by responding to it then you show you care about it on some level and it got to you. Those that love to pick on people and press buttons will keep on regardless of whatever whitty classy funny line you think of. The other thing you can do is embrace it and take the bullets out of the gun so to speak.

For example and this isn't very politically correct so forgive me. I have a friend of mine who is African American and I am a white guy. I used to tell him black jokes, but he knew every one of them. Hell he knew better jokes than I could ever think of. By him taking the good humor from jokes and from me and telling me funnier ones he took control of the frame and I had no where to go. His social value went up as a result of it.

If you are with others then I would look to take it away from them, embrace it, and have some fun. If you are alone I would say ignore it completely and try not to let it get to you. It only bothers you because you let it bother you, and when it bothers you others see it. Sharks can smell that shit like blood in water. Don't bleed in the water and don't let it get to you.

Embrace it, own it, and love it!

Best of Luck,

JSmooth

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:29 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
As a short guy, I can be on the end of some derogatory comments from other males, particularly on nights out or at sports events. There have been several times, I am aware a guy is taking a photo of me on their phone.

If this happens, I immediately feel uneasy and my anxiety levels increase. However, this is only temporary, and I can quickly move on and forget about it.

As someone who is trying to stop being "Mr Nice Guy" and be more assertive, is there any masculine responses I can give in these situations (call them out, without being aggressive?/ make light of the situation?).

Or is the best response, to continue to ignore it, and work on not feeling the unease?
I got some really short friends. We've called them hobbits and all manner of short jokes. Typically it is best to just ignore it, especially with those you don't know, and if you are alone. The reason I say that is by responding to it then you show you care about it on some level and it got to you. Those that love to pick on people and press buttons will keep on regardless of whatever whitty classy funny line you think of. The other thing you can do is embrace it and take the bullets out of the gun so to speak.

For example and this isn't very politically correct so forgive me. I have a friend of mine who is African American and I am a white guy. I used to tell him black jokes, but he knew every one of them. Hell he knew better jokes than I could ever think of. By him taking the good humor from jokes and from me and telling me funnier ones he took control of the frame and I had no where to go. His social value went up as a result of it.

If you are with others then I would look to take it away from them, embrace it, and have some fun. If you are alone I would say ignore it completely and try not to let it get to you. It only bothers you because you let it bother you, and when it bothers you others see it. Sharks can smell that shit like blood in water. Don't bleed in the water and don't let it get to you.

Embrace it, own it, and love it!

Best of Luck,

JSmooth
Thank you for your advice, JSmooth.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:46 am 
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JSmooth has sound advice. Best thing is to remain non-reactive or playfully exaggerate it (think Kevin Hart) and then change the subject by qualifying others and get them to start investing towards you.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:48 pm 
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JSmooth has sound advice. Best thing is to remain non-reactive or playfully exaggerate it (think Kevin Hart) and then change the subject by qualifying others and get them to start investing towards you.
Good mental image. Kevin Hart is exactly the persona to go for if the other doesn't work.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2016 10:31 pm 
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Are you sure that guys are snapping photos of you because you're short or are you just being paranoid? That sounds silly, unless you're dwarf height. How tall are you?

The more you respect yourself the more other will respect you. They'll just get the vibe from you that you're someone that demands respect. You have to command it, and you do that by learning to respond to your convictions and stop being a push over. Perhaps you want to confront one of the guys taking pictures, but you just let it go because you don't think its worth it. Its similar to approaching women, it'll build your character and esteem. Just as approaching the guy taking photos of you to ask him about it will. Will it always turn out well? Maybe not in the beginning, because you're still learning, but its a step you take to define your character. Its not suppose to be comfortable.

You have to go through pain in order to become you, and once the world numbs you, you'll realize theres only one you. - Jay-Z

And its true stepping out of your comfort zone and stepping up to the plate is painful, but it will help you in the end.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2016 8:59 pm 
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Are you sure that guys are snapping photos of you because you're short or are you just being paranoid? That sounds silly, unless you're dwarf height. How tall are you?
Yes a dwarf, just shy of 5ft. This did affect my confidence through my early teenage years, but I had two good friends, and our relationship sounds much the same as JSmooth and his short & African American friend, whereby it was back and forth with jokes about each other. Plus, I started working out and dressing waaaay better, so I feel much more positive about myself.

Quote:
Quote:
JSmooth has sound advice. Best thing is to remain non-reactive or playfully exaggerate it (think Kevin Hart) and then change the subject by qualifying others and get them to start investing towards you.
Good mental image. Kevin Hart is exactly the persona to go for if the other doesn't work.
Sounds crazy in 2016, I know, but I haven't seen any Kevin Hart material. I will definitely be watching some more of his stuff. Came across this nice short clip (excuse the pun). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AARlmX4Du7Q


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:23 pm 
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I answered this question a while back as a video. Maybe you'll find some value in it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMAhLPDXMDQ[/youtube]

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