Okay, this is a bit of a crazy story. I hope this belongs here.
First of all some information about me: I'm 25 and never had a girlfriend in my life. I came close once in freshman year in college when a former school mate (HB 7) approached me and it went as far as kissing but I messed it up and it ended very quickly. I mean I didn't even know how to kiss. It was my first time. I basically did nothing and froze and let her do her thing. She obviously didn't dig that and that was the last time I've seen her before she ended it via text message a couple days later.
Anyway, so I'm basically officially a "loser". But actually I wouldn't consider myself that. At least not if I realistically judge my potential. I'm not fat, bald, small, ugly or socially awkward. I can talk to women without sweating or stuttering. I now how to dress myself. I go to the expensive barber. I do sports. I do have good self-esteem. I do have friends. I'm well educated (studying mathematics). Etc. My looks alone probably wouldn't attract women but I'd consider myself a 7, at worst a 6.5 so it shouldn't be a hindrance either.
So basically my main problem up until now was: I never went out. Never visited a club in my life. I spent way too much time for studying. The most I did was meeting with friends for movies, going out to eat something, gym etc. Nothing where you meet women. But now that I'm about to finish university it's high-time to change that and to get comfortable approaching women.
Side info: I did read Neil Strauss' "The Game" a couple of years ago (basically after I got rejected by that one girl after kissing like a noob). So I'm a bit aware about some things now.
Now to the actual topic:
My first steps, and I know this will sound lame, was trying to date through the Internet. And the following will sound even more lame: I used a fake picture of a hot looking guy. Please don't ask me why, I guess I wasn't comfortable putting my real picture on such a site but still wanted to chat with some women to "warm up". Which wouldn't have been possible with a picture-less profile. So the solution was a fake picture. Anyway, as lame as it sounds, chatting with some women actually did help me a great deal to warm up and encouraged me to go out and try it in real life soon.
But ...
... now there is this one girl who approached me on that dating site. HB 10 would be an understatement because she doesn't just look absolutely amazing but is also incredibly smart. I quickly told her that it was a fake picture and didn't want to chat (I was about to end the "warm up experiment" and quit the dating site). But funnily enough we still ended up meeting. I suppose curiousity got the better of her and the fact that I didn't come across "needy" and said it was up to her if she wanted to find out who I really was helped. She is writing her Ph.D. thesis and we met with the aim that I would help her with some things that I'm good at (not a lot by the way, just some formatting and text work stuff, we don't study the same subject).
The thesis stuff is a good enough excuse for her I guess. I mean she didn't even know how I looked. So if she ends up not liking me, she could just meet me for the thesis stuff and be done with me. My goal is obviously to go beyond that and I sense that I have a realistic chance.
We met at a train station. 30 minutes was walking around and talking and finding a good place to sit. 70 minutes was talking in a coffeehouse (man, she does talks a lot). 20 minutes was helping her with her thesis stuff. Another 30 minutes was bringing her home. I suggester her to drive her home with my car instead of letting her go in the dark and cold by underground which she accepted. When we arrived she asked if she could get my number, hugged me and the day was over. I casually told her that next time we would be going to go out and eat something proper (and not coffeehouse food) to indicate that I wanted a proper dinner and not only meet for the thesis stuff.
Here are the positives that I take so far:
- She accepted to sit in my car and did so in the dark so there is a certain level of trust
- She actively asked for my number at the end of the day (I also have hers, I told her to ring to test if it works)
- She actively hugged me
- We will definitely meet again soon
Also positive: She is new in town (meaning she barely knows anyone) and ultra busy (she wants to become a professor). So she wakes up at 5 am and goes home late when she is already too tired to go out. At work she only works with much older people. I see that as a positive. Probably also why a girl like that would go on a dating site.
The negatives:
Since I'm a noob, even though a slightly knowledgeable noob these days, I did do a couple things wrong which I noticed only afterwards (after all theory isn't practice). No deal breaker yet I suppose (but I don't know). Some little things, like, when she mentioned that the fake dude picture really looked hot I should have said something like: "You are quite lucky that you met me instead." Instead I said: "I doubt you'll find a mathematician in real life who looks like a model."
Also she hasn't written back anything yet the next day via SPAM or anything and I don't know if I should approach her first. I really don't want to come across needy. I learned my lesson from the last time when I kept spamming that girl with messages. Now I try to keep as passive as possible so that SHE approaches me. If I wait a couple of days she will definitely text me at some point, I'm sure, at least because I have a thesis template for her which she'll want. But I don't know. Wait or do something?
And then, when we meet again, what to do next? I feel like it could go either way right now and the next date is crucial whether she friendzones me or not. So I have to impress. But how?