Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 5:39 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
The Players Guide To Going Out Alone Oct. 17th 2013

How many of our readers have tapped into the night scene alone?

What’s up guys?

This article is for the players out there who aren’t afraid to wear the title. It seems every guy wants to be a player, but they fear the label. That’s a little backwards in my arrogant opinion. But anyway, I think it’s important that as players that we challenge ourselves and always take the next step into becoming better at what we do. If there is an area that we can improve, we improve it. Players aren’t settling for “good enough”, that’s for normal guys. And as I began having this revelation I noticed an area in my own life I could improve; I rarely if ever went to a bar or night club alone. So it was time to make a change..

I’ve started going out alone mainly because I’ve taken sometime away from friends to continue on my journey of self. I’ve noticed that the initial idea of going to a nightclub alone caused me to feel “fear”, but fear is not something I choose to live with. So I have made it my mission to go out alone at least three times a weak to rid myself of that emotion. There were a few times when I showered, dressed up, sprayed on cologne and then gave into “not feeling up to it”. It’s a silly thing the subconscious does to put obstacles in the way of us and are goals. Sometimes its random excuses, others is just lethargic energy intruding on our system. I choose to give into it on four occasions actually; two of which were after I had already went out alone a few night prior I’d lay in my bed in the darkness staring at the ceiling in apathy. What is it about going out alone that stirred up this anxiety I’d wonder? A answer logical enough never arrived so I promised myself that I would be going out the next day – no excuses.

I woke up the next morning and neglected many of my responsibilities, because all I could focus on was destroying the mental blocks that were between me and goals. One by one I shot them down with ambitious self talk and visualization. This went on for a some hours and before I knew it it was 8:30 PM, so I anxiously began getting ready. I threw on my best suit and made to my way of one of the more exclusive clubs in the meat packing district of New York City.

When I arrived there was a long line behind a red velvet rope. I choose to go straight for the door, I had worked my mind up so I was feeling important. Once in front I was greeted by an over weight Asian woman with a list in her hand. She looked me up and down waiting for me to give her the name of whoever made me feel like I could just enter this place like this. I had googled the name of the DJ before I got there so I just threw his name around and attempted to walk right pass her. I was greeted by a bouncer who I thought was going to call my bluff, but he just patted me down and I was in.

I wanted to smile but I decided to keep that one on the inside; the night was just getting started and it’s not time to get my boxers in a bunch.

Once in I looked up, looked down, looked left and looked right. The guy to girl ratio was about 2 to 1 so that was perfect. I always say ” If there’s only one girl in the whole club that’s enough for me”. I then made my way around the place just to check out the venue. In the back there was a smoke room with no ceiling, the music was low so I instantly knew this was the place for conversation.

After a cigarette that was offered to me and some small talk with the guys and gals outside I headed back into the dance floor/bar area. The moment I got in I spotted this blonde sitting at a VIP table with only two others; a guy and a girl who happned to be making out at the time. The blonde was “fake texting” on her phone and looking around the room so I knew it was time for a hero to come save the day.

I walked on over and said ” Hey I came over to even the ratio a bit… should we do what they’re doing( pointing at the two friends kissing) or head outside for a cig. ” she smiled, told me her name and I led her by the hand to “conversation room”

I grabbed two cigarettes from the guy passing out napkins in the bathroom and we took a seat outside.

“Yea.. I knew you liked black guys ” I said with a smirk, she laughed and said something to the extent of ” doesn’t everyone” ( don’t quote me on that though). She then went into some rant about how exoctic she finds black guys. I stopped listening halfway through and just tried to kiss her after a min or so. She turned her head and motioned for me to kiss her on her cheek. I declined of course(players don’t settle for second best) and just went into a new topic of conversation. After another few minutes I caught her gazing at me for extended moments so I tried to kiss her again. She moved again and began to complain about how fast I was moving. She wanted to talk more first but I stopped showing interest so she returned to her group.

I talked to a few more girls and guys outside, grabbed a couple numbers then went back in to see who was on the dance floor. I knew I wouldn’t be dancing too much; the music wasn’t really my thing, so I just tried dancing for a min or so and grabbing the numbers of the girls I found attractive on the floor. I didn’t have much success with that but after two or three attempts I spoted this attractive girl standing around on the outskirts of the dance floor.

I strolled over and tapped her on the shoulder ” hey, it’s rough out there” she replied ” I saw you getting crazy out there. How are the girls treating you?”

I followed up with ” not bad, but I planting my flag here with you for tonight”She then began to tell me how she also came out alone and she’s recently out of a divorce so she’s out trying to meet new people. We had a lot in common and next thing you know, it’s 45 mins later and we’re still talking. She was dope, but I had to pee and she wanted to go grab a drink. I told her I’d find her when I got back from the bathroom, but I never did. I actually caught myself looking for her for longer than I should have, but I snapped out of it. It’s important that I learn to have things and let them go, no matter how great they are.

After a few more light approaches I decided to just call it a night and head on home. I made my way to the exit and on the way out I spotted the blonde from earlier making out with some guy at her group table. I just laughed to myself and built a little rapport with the bouncer before I went home.

There’s no magical happy ending on this one but I definitely learned a few lessons.

Lesson #1: No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed, and go out.
As I stated earlier the subconscious has ways of talking us out of doing things that could be beneficial to us. For the most part it’s hardwired to help us find the easiest solution to all of our problems. So if we don’t “have to” it’ll naturally cause us to feel like we shouldn’t. If you didn’t go to work everytime you “didn’t feel like it” how much different would your life be?

Lesson #2: The tougher the task the sweeter the reward
You know the feeling you get when you walk up to a girl, have a conversation, and get her number? Picture that ten times over. The satisfaction is a lot more satisfying when you don’t have your buddies there to share it with. When forced to stand alone you can shine a lot brighter; and its as if women can pick that up with their 6th sense(intuition).

Lesson #3 It’s just easier

Once you get over the initial nerves of being on the dance floor alone you’ll realize how much easier it is to meet people. Friends aren’t there to cock block you, you don’t have to report to your group every so often, and there’s no crutch for you to walk with. While out alone you’re more inclined to approach because there’s no excuse not to. You have two options.. Be alone or make friends. Which sounds better to you?

Go out alone guys and even if this idea doesn’t sound appealing to just give it a try. Being a player is all about challenging ourselves and elevating to the next level. The only ceilings are the ones we build over our own heads. So get it done and post your stories on the forums, I look forward to reading them. Peace & Love

Eddie Fews

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Aug 23, 2015 3:25 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
What A Woman Thinks About You


I get a barrage of men emailing me and asking me questions that all reflect what they believe to be an issue with what a woman thinks about them. And I have to remind them of a simple concept that I’m going to share here. Basically, what a woman personally thinks about you isn’t all that important to her. Its probably third or fourth on the list of what she values when it comes to her perception of a man in communication with her. I’ll get into the two things that I know for a fact are above what “she thinks of you” on this list..

1. A woman cares more about what you think of yourself than she cares about what she thinks of you.

Many men don’t directly realize what women are, and how they operate. A woman is there to support whatever a man believes his self image is. If he believe himself to be a king, she will support him by encouraging him to be one and treating him as he is one, but only because this is already his belief. She just becomes the one that amplifies within him that which is already present. On the flip side, if a man believe himself to be uninteresting and unattractive she will support his self imagine again; treating him like he is unattractive and uninteresting. Her general behavior being that which reflects a mans own mentality back to him with her attention and action. Men are quick to begin thinking that they were rejected by a woman because she didn’t find them interesting or attractive, but the truth of the matter is, she didn’t find them interesting or attractive because they themselves don’t find themselves to be interesting or attractive in that moment. This is why the concept of assuming attraction works so well. A man that thinks he is attractive will naturally behave in a more confident manner; thus coming across more attractive; and a man that thinks he is unattractive will naturally behave in a less confident manner; decreasing the confidence in his tonality and the forward projection of his actions. Who’s going to find the man with the weak unconfident tone and approach attractive? This works not only because it causes the man to project himself to be more attractive, but the woman is in turn receiving his projecting and projecting it back to him. For better or for worse.

2. A woman cares more about what you think of her than she does about what she thinks of you.

This is natural because of the basic level of narcissism that exist within all of us. How many people you don’t know have you witnessed embarrass themselves in your entire life? Many i’m sure. Now how many of their faces do you remember? Probably none. As people we’re more likely to remember what we ate for dinner two nights ago than we are what our friends told us they ate for dinner two nights ago, because naturally our lives are more important to us. So as a man approaching a woman you would be a lot more likely to approach with confidence if you had the understanding that she cares more about what you think of HER conversational skills than she does about what she thinks of your conversational skills. The only thing that trumps this is the rule above this one. If the man himself believes that his conversational skills aren’t up to par he will in turn project this and the woman will receive him as a man without great conversational skills. But once that is taken care of, through developing a confident core belief system, she then is more likely to be concerned with what you think of her than she will be with what she thinks of you.

She cares more about what you think of her outfit than she does about what she thinks of your outfit, but she cares more about what you think of your own outfit than she does about what she thinks of your outfit. Your own projection comes first when it comes to relating to a woman in an intimate way. The rules only change if there is no communication or no connection. But while attempting to make one it would be wise for a man to remember these rules.

What you think of you is first, what you think of her is second, and what she thinks of you is third.

A lot of power comes to the man that fully understands this and understand how this helps and increases his ability to attract women.

Now how does a man increase the power of his own belief system and self image? Through mental repetition with thoughts of his desired outcome. A process that I work with men on each and every day. I tell guys all the time, our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our character and our character becomes our destiny. Thought creates the emotion, and emotion creates the fuel for action. Control your thoughts and life will naturally take shape around you in the way you desire.

How do you think great actors get into character? Through mentally repeating and convincing themselves that they are and that they possess the characteristics and attributes of the man in the script. The world is your stage, you are the actor, and your ability to win a oscar is all predicated upon how well you convince yourself and belief that you already are that which you want to be. Depending on where you want to be this process can take any where from 3 months to a year of consistency, and it will all have been worth it once your time has come. Control your thoughts or they’ll control you. All planted seeds will be reaped when its time for harvest whether on purpose or accidentally.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:50 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 7:28 am
Posts: 53
interesting, fun & easy to read
This should become a sticky !!


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 11:43 am 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Was Jesus Christ an Alpha Male?

What is An Alpha Male?

This is one of the most common topics within the Pick Up Artist community that I find when I’m on boards and forums dishing out advice. Every guy is trying to figure out how to behave like or how to become an alpha male. The latest post just happened to be “ Was Jesus Christ an Alpha Male ?”. I chuckled and began reading a few of the responses on the board. The poster that the majority of the board agreed with said something along the lines of “ Would an Alpha Male ‘Turn the other cheek?” which is a reference to – Mathew Chapter 5 Verse 39: but I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. I’m guessing the murderous action hero from the latest terminator film didn’t fit what was thought to be their ideal alpha male. And while I am not here to defend christianity, I will go in and bring further understanding into exactly what an alpha male is. But to answer to initial board question; yes, Jesus was most certainly an alpha male.

You see, an alpha male isn’t something anyone is ever going to read a book or article about and just become. You can buy a thousand books on how to ride a bike, but until you actually climb on one and try it out you won’t know how to ride a bike. The even bigger difference here is, being an alpha male isn’t something that is technical. It isn’t something thats going to be “learned”, its more so something one will naturally become upon engaging within the proper circumstance/s.

Some see it as Alpha males are born, not created, but I disagree with that theory. Sure a young child who has an alpha male role model for a father through imitation and practice can be stimulated into being an alpha male. But was he born that way or was he learned that way? It was learned and I also know that every man out there has the potential to become one upon being confronted with the right stimulus.There is an alpha male hidden inside every one of us, however most will never become it because they’ve chosen to be victims of fear.

An alpha male is not something that can be defined by a set of behaviors. There are too many articles encouraging men to sit with their legs wide-open, and to take up lots of space wherever they go, because “thats what alpha males naturally do”. And while almost anything can have its own bit of truth, the taking up space theory and behaving like Don Draper in Californication is nonsense. If you think that sitting with your legs wide open is going to increase your chances of getting women enough to make a difference in your love life, you my friend are not in no way an alpha male. I can get a woman with my legs crossed and both of my hands in my pockets, just as effectively as I can get a woman with my legs and arms completely spaced out. It is not my body placement that a woman is attracted to, it is the spirit that is in me. It is the presence that emanates from that spirit. It is my life experiences and courage that have given me my aura. Its is the rough times, the poverty, the being made fun of, the being forced to be different that has created what has made me an alpha male.

As I said before, you’ll never read a book and learn how to be an alpha male. You either are it or you are not. You’re either going to toss yourself into the fire to become one or you’re going to ride out safely in the comfort zones given to you by society. You’ll either be the leader, or you’ll follow the guy who wasn’t as much of a wuss and did all he could to ensure that he possessed something that no one else did.

An Alpha male isn’t rich, and alpha male isn’t poor, and alpha male isn’t fat, and alpha male isn’t skinny, an alpha male isn’t handsome, and an alpha male isn’t ugly, an alpha male doesn’t take up large amounts of space, and a alph… yeah yeah I know. You get the point.

Alpha-ness is a spirit. Alpha-ness is taking risk and getting uncomfortable. Not using google to become something that someone else has. Every alpha male has his own opinion and set of behaviors that what might compile into why he is an alpha male, but the one thing we all can agree on, is that an alpha male isn’t ever asking questions about what a alpha male is. An alpha male is too focused on being himself.

If you are an alpha male, salute to you and thanks for reading, but if you’re looking to become an alpha male, you need to stop reading and asking questions about alpha males. It’s time to start living. As Jay-z said about some of his peers in the corporate world that he’s surpassed; “they’ve read a lot of books, I’ve lived a lot of life”. When will you stop reading and start putting into action the material that you read?

If you want to become an alpha male you have to get up, get out, and go live. You have to be prepared to experience pain. Just as exercise is pain that causes one to build the body that they want; living life to your highest convictions despite how you feel in the moment will give you the emotional body(alpha-ness) you desire. You’ll become one naturally after enough experience doing so. You won’t have to try to become it, you’ll just be it, and how to be it won’t even be something you think about.

So yeah, while I have my own reservations about the religion and some of the theologies, Jesus was an alpha male, because he understood that he was on a mission. He stood by his beliefs, did what he felt was best, and wasn’t going to let the opinions of anyone stop him from accomplishing that. He lived his truth, and in layman’s terms, he didn’t give a fuck what anyone in opposition thought about it.

Wanna be Alpha? Get up and go Live.

Peace & Love

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 1:58 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2015 1:49 pm
Posts: 10
Great advice. Thanks :)


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:05 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
So You've met Someone Special

Is this your first time falling in love or has it happened before?

If this is the first time you’ve found someone special it is important that you understand that this “someone special” is going to come in your life again and again, and again, and again, and again. If this isn’t the first time, and you’re still referring to this someone special as “someone special” you’re an idiot.

Do not, and I repeat do not, give up the game just because you’ve met someone special. Settling down shouldn’t be some spontaneous decision that you make because you’ve met “someone special”. Settling down should only be something you do when you have been considering settling down for sometime; far before you met anyone special. When you allow a woman who is seemingly unique to cause you to change your course randomly who do you think is now leading the interaction? And how does flipping and flopping depending on who comes into your life on any given day effect your frame? Is that the frame of a leader or is that the frame of a more unstable man that blows with the wind? A man that goes wherever life takes him? Not a man that is in control, not a man who has the ability to create his own destiny. What would happen if we bought every item being offered at a “special” price at the electronic store despite having a mortgage that has to be paid? In any other aspect of our life do we let the potential of something special interfere with our priorities?

The moment you settle down before you’ve made the conscious decision to; a decision that should include a plan and a purpose you are giving up your power. You are giving up the very thing that makes you attractive, and are potentially setting yourself up for oneitis, disappointment, and heartbreak.

Always trust you initial instinct. The feeling you get when you first meet a girl is likely going to be the most accurate description of where you should take your relationship. As guys we do that anyway; when we meet a girl we always make a note to decide mentally whether or not this girl is going to be a “ hit it and quit it, a friends with benefits, a girlfriend, a wife etc”. Now what happens when a girl that initially gaves you the “hit it and quit” vibes gives you some amazing sex and so you decide to promote her to a friends with benefits spontaneously after the lay? What happens when you become even weaker after a few more ejaculations and she gets bumped to girlfriend? You get bumped to beta male in her mind. And because of your now weakened frame and you become food that will be used as emotional energy to fuel her to get the guy with a stronger frame.

We get emails from guys all the time that have had this happen to them and you know what the common theme is between them? They have all developed emotional dependence on these women and have waited until they were seconds from drowning to begin flapping their arms to call the life guard over for help.

Stick to your guns.

If she wasn’t good enough for you in the beginning, its likely she just isn’t up to your standards. Don’t let the production of oxytocin(a bonding chemical created by cuddling, kissing, sex etc.) influence your thoughts and cause you to take an action you had no intention of taking while your emotions were stable.

We have to be stronger than our emotions.

This will keep men from marrying prostitutes and wasting time with women who are below their standards. When a man meets a prostitute, what is likely his first thought? Whats his first instinct? To sleep with her, pay her, and leave; never to see her or talk to her again. And not that I’m advocating prostitution, but that is exactly what he should do. He should stick to his plan, a plan that likely wasn’t deluded by emotional manipulation when it was created.

Do not.. And I repeat do not give up the game until you’ve made that conscious and well thought out decision that you are ready. A decision that should have came LONG before you met “someone special”.

Develop a plan, decide what you want to do, and stick to it. Be a man. Stop being lead by emotions and affection from women. Your first thought is almost always the most accurate one.

Now, for the guys who are ready to settle down and the guys who are far too undeveloped in their game to heed to this advice; give every woman you consider settling down with a 90 day probation before you make the decision to commit to them. Women that are bad for you will likely blow themselves out in 90 days or less.

If she starts pressuring you to commit to her before that 90 days, she can go fuck herself. All women put on a show initially, its the mating dance, its the act to get you to commit. Once they have that commitment the mask comes off and you are now dealing with the very thing that gave you that initial gut feeling in the first place.

Its just like the girl who’s place is always clean when you first meet them. The girl that eventually starts leaving dishes around and before you know it, her place is a complete mess every time you come over.

Trust your gut. I can’t say my gut has always been right, but it has been right 95% of the time and those are odds that I have to take. I’m not going to let the potential fantasy of some hollywood romance movie interfere with me takin charge and being the leader of my own life.

Men, do yourselves a favor.. Stop being taken by love. Ask yourself why do you want to be in a relationship? For what purpose. What can a relationship offer you at this point of your life that a friends with benefits can’t? And if you can’t come up with anything good enough; you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. You’re just doing it because you think its what you’re suppose to do. Men are jumping in relationships with women everyday now that are offering nothing. I would hope that after a woman pressures you to escalate your situationship into a relationship that something new would come with the offer. She gets the commitment she wants, but what do you get? 9 times out of 10 in todays time you’ll get absolutely nothing.

There was a time in which women withheld on sex, affection, and full submission until after they received commitment, but that time is not today. When will we stop buying cows that are already offering us the milk for free? And i’m not blaming them, if you aren’t aware of what you want, and/or you don’t know how to ask for what you want, you don’t deserve it.

Be the leader. Stop following feelings. Leave that to the more feminine in nature.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2016 10:09 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Is Your Girl Slipping Away?

I had been communicating with a woman that I began to take a good deal of interest in recently and had some interesting information revealed to me. We had hung out several times, really enjoyed each others company, and out of no where she began to drift away. After being consistently texted daily from her since we first met, three days had past and I had no heard from her at all. Now of course, I naturally didn’t pay it any mind. Once you get rooted in this whole lifestyle you learn that amazing women come and go all the time. And this woman in particular had gotten hurt in her last relationship and was giving off what I thought to be an impression that she wasn’t in the proper frame of mind to be a candidate for anything serious anyway. Not to mention that she’s a lawyer and extremely goal oriented, and if anyone knows me they know that I do not make exceptions for career focused “busy women”. If you can not provide me with the levels of compliance I require due to your career I will not commit to you, unless of course we find ways to add balance to the relationship on my end. So, I wasn’t looking at her like a potential girlfriend at all, but I did greatly enjoy her company and was going to ride the wave with her as long as she continued to be compliant with the availability that she had.

The third day of non contact was christmas and I had gotten a generic “ Merry Christmas” text from her that could of been sent to anyone, and so I didn’t pay that any mind either. If I don’t see any emotional investment within a text message a girl sends me, I’ll usually ignore it and go about my day. Those generic “ Hey whats up” text that come from ex girlfriends are always ignored. They’re attention seeking and I’m not playing that game. It takes vulnerability to motivate me to communicate with a woman. Women are emotional, so if a woman isn’t telling me how she feels, or isn’t implying feelings she doesn’t get my attention in exchange for her contact attempt.

Two days later she texted me showing some level of vulnerability “You don’t like texting me anymore? “

I reply “ You’ve been contacting me?”

She responded “Nope. But I was hoping you would say something since we last saw each other” (More vulnerability.. Now she had my attention)

I follow up with “ I’ve thought about you”

She goes “ Have you? And why didn’t you text me? “

I say “ Why all the questions?” and then “ You know I like you right? “

Her: You’re so confusing Eddie!

Me: I told you to text me when you made it home and all I got was some lame generic christmas text

Her: Whoops. I totally for about that.
Her : Okay its my fault
Her : I admit it
Her: Forgive me?

She called me that evening, we talked it out, and everything seemed all fine and well until I abruptly had to get off the phone to finish getting some work done. She pouted because she wanted me to stay on the phone longer, but I said that i had to go and hung up midway through her pouting because she continued to persist.

This all led up to me not hearing from her at all for another four days. Once again, I didn’t pay it much mind and I felt like the amount of time that I gave her on the phone warranted her to initiate contact with me the next day(You’ll gain more understanding on this from my time vs compliance article coming up soon. Men wanting compliance and women wanting investment/time). Another thing about me is that I never chase women. I invest what I feel to be an adequate amount of my time, and then I wait for a return of compliance and then I invest a little more time and wait for that return of compliance. This is how I manage my relationships. Guys that over invest often take a big emotional hit(heart breaks, oneitis), and when a guy under invests the girls he has won’t be around for long before they begin seeking investment elsewhere. Everyone has there own sense of self worth. We all feel we are deserving of different levels of the things that we want. And so after not hearing from her for four days I decided that I was probably under investing so I texted her saying “So you left me for a fish? “. Alluding to the new fish she told me she had gotten the last time we talked. She replied “No I have just been busy studying for this position at work”. And I naturally took that as a lack of vulnerability and a lack of emotion and so I ignored her response. Three hours later she calls me on FaceTime and we begin chatting everything through. She started by telling me that she didn’t feel like I cared about her or liked her and so she began to fade out. She told me thats she’s not going to continue chasing a guy that wasn’t showing much interest in her. I entertain it for a second, but I didn’t feel like that was the root of her behavior and so I gently continued to pry as we were talking about other topics and thats when the truth came out.

She admitted to me that she had went to dinner with her friends the last day me and her hung out, she told them about me, and after all four of them reviewed the situation they told her that she play it distant. That she shouldn’t initiate anymore contact with me and that if I contact her for her to screenshot it for all of them and send it into their group chat and they would tell her how to respond. I found this odd of course, because as guys we just don’t do shit like that. We may ask for advice but for the most part we handle our own. We don’t go group planning our entire relationship.

So thats what happened, she didn’t disappear because she wanted to necessarily, she disappeared because her friends told he that it was best that she did. That other wise she would end up “losing the game”… whatever that game is. We talked it out, and it ended with me basically telling her that unless her friends are in happy relationships that it wouldn’t be wise to take their advice verbatim.

And so I everything is back to normal now, I just wrote this because as guys who are highly sought out by women its very easy to get caught up in this concept of letting women go without thinking twice and moving onto a new one. Maintenance is also important, you don’t want to get so rooted in letting go of women that you just become completely uncaring and unable to have an actual relationship when the time comes. This is what was happening to me, I was becoming unfeeling almost and the women in my life were feeling like I didn’t care whether they were around or not and it began to scare them. However, this write up is NOT for the beginners. If your game isn’t tight and you have not let go of a sufficient amount of women in your life out of choice and not necessity you must learn to do so before you can ever apply this. This for the guys who have their game tight already, that may be letting go of too many women too quickly who are acting properly and continuing to add value to their lives. If you owned a company and you found yourself letting go off too many employees too easily you’d would eventually be met with a challenge. Low level employees do need to know that they can easily be replaced, but the more a woman worked her way up in your company(your life) the more she’ll want to feel like she’s not as replaceable as the lowest level employees.

If you have any questions about whether or not you should reel a girl back in or completely let her go email me and we’ll figure out how far along you are in your game and whether or not you’re in your building stage or your maintenance stage.

Thanks for reading.

Peace & Love

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:38 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Going Through A Break Up? Read This Now


The holidays just seem to be the time in which everyone decides to save money on gift buying and break up with their partners and as a result I’ve gotten a share of emails asking about getting back with ex girlfriends, dealing with heart break, etc. I decided I would make a public post about the question and stories I’ve bene hearing and the way I responded. Every guy going through it seems to think that their girlfriend was the “special” one, and while that may be partially true; the full truth is that there is something special about everyone of these women. No one is more special than the other. Its just the feeling of loss mixed with the feelings of “wanting what you can’t have” that causes men to romanticize over women who probably meant absolutely nothing to the last couple guys that walked in and out of their life.

I often wonder how a man with high self esteem and pride could feel comfortable dating a girl who had let men walk all over them just months before meeting you. Wheres your dignity? Surely if the last guy treated her like dirt and she allowed it you don’t want to be the one to roll out the red carpet.. or do you? But you know what they say.. “ One mans trash is another mans treasure”. I find myself curious about how the women I’m dating let guys treat them in the past. When you feel you are deserving of the best you kind of don’t wanna settle for a woman who didn’t know her worth until she was inspired by the love you began to give her. I’ll be the first to admit that I have made this mistake a couple times, but after the first I was always quick to snap out of it. There is a well of women out here; a well of amazing women. As I am writing this there is beautiful barista working behind the counter at the cafe I’m sitting at. She has no real shape, no ass, average sized breast, but her face is gorgeous and she carries herself with such grace and elegance. Not to mention I was out with an amazing woman last night; theres just so many. I repeat phrases like “ theres so many great women” because i really want the readers to get it. If you’re heart broken, cry it out but get over it. The moment you wipe the water clouding your vision you’ll notice all the great women you’re surrounded by.

I saw a study recently in which a scientist created a test group of 20 strangers – ten male, ten female and paired them up facing each other while sitting at tables. They were to stare each other in the eyes while reading romantic poetry and repeating phrases like “ I love you” and “ I want to spend my life with you”. The study went on for 8 hours.. And you know what happen? When it was done three out of the ten couples got married and four of the remaining seven couples began seeing each other after the study. So what does that tell us? What we know to be love is truthfully something we coax ourselves into being in when we find someone who we feel is attractive enough (whether internally, externally or both), that we happen to begin seeing consistently.

It is our own thoughts, it is the things we say to ourselves about the partner while they’re not around that slowly but surely fills us with the chemical reaction we know to be infatuation. I fall in love easily, I always have, because I enjoy it. I enjoy the emotions, I enjoy the rush, the inspiration; I even enjoy the momentary pain once its all said and done. Its all creative fuel for me. I use for creativity. I fall in love because it is part of my purpose in life to, however i’m always completely aware that this is ME thats making all of this happen. There is no special girl necessarily; but there is special thoughts of my own creation. And i then use those same thoughts to rise on above and beyond it. If you’ve fell in love once you can fall in love again. Its simply a matter of teaching yourself too; and like anything else – with practice comes perfection.

Anyway; I’ll get to a couple pieces of advice that I gave out recently on men dealing with heartbreak. I’m sure the majority of the stories out there aren’t too different than these.

From: JMW

Subject: Stressed over a girl I was seeing. Fix or move on?

Message:I’ll try to summarize this the best I can.

About 3 months ago, I met a girl through some friends. Every person I met said the same thing, “She’s sweet, beautiful, fun, and I think you 2 would get along great”. So I decided to meet her in a group setting and they were right, we really hit it off. We dated for a couple months and she was VERY interested me. She kept asking our mutual friend if I liked her, she texted me everyday from the day we met at least once if nothing else than to say goodnight. First time we slept together, she beat around the bush for 2 hours basically inviting herself over. We had an incredible time every time we were together.

The last time I saw her she came to my house, we cooked, watched a movie, etc. We were supposed to hang out a couple days later but she cancelled on me because she forgot she had plans with friends. I hate when people break commitments but I didn’t address it via text and things had been going so well I didn’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill. After that day, she quit texting me except for when I texted her first, but she would respond immediately to my texts. We would talk for 2 hours but then when I’d invite her over or ask her out, she would beat around the bush with bs excuses.

So after about 10 days of this, I confronted her about it basically saying wtf but in a more polite and professional manner. She said said I had been super sweet to her (my first mistake, I know) and that she thought I was looking for something serious and she wasn’t ready for that blah blah etc. I have no idea why she thought that because AFAIK I had done nothing to indicate it. A few days went by and our mutual friend called me and said she told them that when she was cooking, I walked up behind her and gave her a hug and she thought it was moving too fast. I guess I’m just batshit for thinking you can hug a girl 3 weeks after you’ve been sleeping together.

It has been driving me bonkers because she was perfect for what I like. I’ve had gf’s for 2+ years that I missed less than her. So the same mutual friend called me yesterday and said she had been talking about me to them and on one hand trying to make me sound like the bad guy but on the other hand still acting interested in seeing me. 2 of our friends told me they think she started to catch feelings, it freaked her out, so she bailed.

Sorry this was so lengthy, but I haven’t slept in 2 weeks and am trying to find the solution. What would you recommend? I made the mistake of being very nice and accommodating because I had convinced myself “she was different” and would appreciate it which she acted like she did.

Can I/should I try to salvage this or move on and try to forget about it?

My Response: First things first bro..

Here me once and here my clear.

CLOSURE is for BITCHES and bitches only.

Life ain’t fair and you aren’t always going to get closure. And the fact that you’re struggling to move on without getting it is a reflection of why she isn’t around to begin with. Its weak and is a reflection of you not being able to stand on your own two feet(not secure, women want a secure man) without the assistance of information from another.

Second.. Everybody gets GOT bro, its all apart of the game. Like my dad(former super player) told me after I got broken up with and left the first time.. ” You ain’t a player until you get played son”.

Two things can happen when you have such an experience; you can become bitter or you can become better. This shit should only fuel you because of the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding you’re going to gain from having this experience.

Also, let me ask. Why on earth would you want to be a relationship because YOU want to be in one? Don’t you understand how girly that is? She was already fucking you, she was already crashing and cooking food with you.. Why would you want to hand over your freedom as if you were going to get something in exchange for doing so? Its a bad deal.

Now if she wasn’t fucking you or doing all the girlfriend shit and said ” I only fuck and cook with guys who decide to be my boyfriend and stop fucking other women” I could understand you wanting to be in a relationship because then AT LEAST there is a REASON. You get to cook and fuck the girl granted you give her your freedom.

The mindset that pushes a guy to want to be in a relationship off of his own decision is an INSTANT oneitis mindset. That would only suggest that oneitis, is but a couple months away. You’ll have your 1-4 months of fun, but after that its all set and done.

So if I could give you any advice right now I would tell you to cry your eyes out, play a bunch of sick love drunk love songs ” The Script” has a great album called Breakeven I think. I balled my eyes out to that when I lost my first love after being a pimp all my life before then. And once you’re spend a couple weeks crying and sulking you build yourself back up into a stronger better man, worthy of attracting a higher quality woman because of the wisdom you gained from this experience.

You’ll fall in love again, believe that.. I’ve been in love 9 times almost; its a choice, you talk yourself into falling in love. You’re poison your thoughts day by day little by little until you’re on your death bed.

You will be straight man, I promise you that. You may have a couple months of recovery but after that you will not remember this girl existed. Well you may, but she’ll be a faint memory. And it won’t be a big deal.

I live in NYC and I’ve lost some of the greatest women by societal standards that this country has to offer. You think you’ll never meet another for a while, but you always do. A player will always snap back into position and get back on his shit.

Now what you don’t want to do is contact her. Please do not contact her. PLEASE. It will be of no use.



If you want her back – which you probably won’t if you really do what you’re supposed to, when she contacts you IGNORE HER the first time and respond the second time she reaches out. THIS SHIT NEVER FAILS.. TRUST ME.. There are no unique situations. I don’t give two shits what the text or voicemail says, let her contact you at least twice before you respond. The first text is always spontaneous, the second and third will reveal her true feelings. If you don’t want her back then of course just ignore her all together and just carry on with life.

So just hold out, cry, and rebuild. And when she contacts you IGNORE the first text and then respond to the second or third one.

It make take a couple days for her to send a second text, but she will.. THEY ALWAYS DO. There are no female exceptions to the rule; no matter how great you thought or think she is. We’re animals, creatures of habits and NO ONE is above human nature.

You’re but a few short months away from being the best version of yourself you’ve ever been. Sulk for a bit, but find a way to be EXCITED. Its gets better man. It does get better. Weather this storm and then enjoy your new life.

JMW: Thanks for the lengthy response Eddie!

Deep down I know you’re correct and I guess the 2 biggest things that are driving me crazy are:

1. I haven’t figured out what I’ve learned just yet. I like having a building block to work off of and a failure knowing where I went wrong so I can improve next time.

2. Before I even agreed to meet her, some people I’ve known for years and trust their opinion, told me how great of a girl she was and sweet and innocent and whatever. I’m not sure whether we all misread her or whether something changed.

I honestly wasn’t looking for a relationship or trying to change anything. I was pleased with how things were and never once mentioned a relationship or being exclusive or any of that. We saw each other a couple times a week for food, sex, fun shit and that’s perfect for me. It gives me time to do my own shit while still having a cool chick around on occasion. Even at the time, I didn’t realize it would bother me as much as it has if things didn’t work out. And like I said, more than anything I just want to know wtf happened.

I’ve had similar situations in the past and didn’t give a damn. I’ve heard the PUA talk of oneitis for years, but assumed I was too heartless to understand. Overall, I don’t much care for it. Hell I can’t even say I’ve ever been in love. Usually when things end, we part ways, it’s a chapter to close, and I search for something else. For some damn reason this one has me all messed up in the head.

I’ve held out this long without contacting her and general consensus is that she will reach out again at some point. Maybe I’ll just continue to wait it out and see what happens.

Thanks again, you are awesome and I’d probably be lost had I never discovered this industry

My Response: You’re not always going to know man. Because you CARE to KNOW is the root of your oneitis. I’m sure you could give two shits about the starting at finishing point of exactly where things went from with some of the women you parted with in the past. It just didn’t matter to you. As it doesn’t matter to many of us; unless it’s a girl we’ve developed oneitis for.

And women are never listening to the shit we say nor do they care so much for the things we do. What they care about is the place and position our words and actions are coming from. So you don’t have to say ” I want to be with you for the rest of my life” to give off the ” I want to be with you for the rest of my life” energy and vibe. Its implied subtly.

The thing men don’t understand about women is that women speak a language that many men don’t understand; its a language of hints. They speak it with each other and because it comes so natural to them they assume WE speak it too. But we don’t..And this is why women think guys are “dumb”.. We only know one language; and don’t understand that most obvious words and interpretations of the language they naturally think ALL people speak.

So a woman is reading into the language that you speak that you don’t even know that you speak if that makes any sense. So she communicates back to you in that lingo hoping you’re paying enough attention to make adjustments when she responds to make adjustments. You cared too much; regardless of what you may think – hence the reason you are here. The fact that you are posting on this forum about her shows you had oneitis for her that she picked up on in language number two. It may not of been blatant to you because of your natural male insensitivity but it was obvious to her, hence the reason she took off.

You just have to accept that. Regardless of what you may think; her telling you this from her own mouth (which she did in chick language already) isn’t going to make you feel any better. What you are asking for is for her to be a GUY and tell you clearly and plainly exactly why she behaved the way she did and unfortunately women just don’t operate like that. You have to take this one like the champ you are and keep it moving.

You can’t except a dog to meow man, even if it’ll make you feel better. Dogs just don’t meow. And chicks just don’t explain in the language that men want them to how and why things took the turn they did.

Accept it and rise man. Everyone takes a loss.

I got GOT at one of the most pimp moments of my life. I was seeing loads of chicks all the time; and one girl got me. So no ones exempt. And never think you’re above the BROKEN heart. Because once you think you are; it’ll be waiting for you right around the corner to remind you that human nature is still intact.

It’ll be tougher now for sure, because you will have built up stronger walls against it; which only means that you will be attracting higher quality women now because of your new found resistance. So don’t worry and be happy *Bob Marly voice*

Be open about it to bro. Don’t be afraid to wear that shit with a smile. People respect transparency and you’ll be surprised how many women want to fuck you out of sympathy because of it. So long as you’re not trying to pose like you’re some big macho unfeeling man after the break up. Most of the sympathy pussy won’t hang around for too long, but they’ll still be there to comfort you at moments through this. And you’re not going to cry to them of course; you’re going to just accept the fact that you’re in remodeling mode and you’re going to smile through it.

And no problem man. I’m in a good mood and so I’m writing a lot. You caught me at the right time.

JMW: I’ll be damned. I came looking for some advice and words of encouragement and it actually went better than I had hoped for.

For the past couple weeks I’ve been trying to figure out what the hell I did wrong so I can improve it and move on. Being a guy who hates bullshit, I’d rather have it spelled out as blatantly as possible right in front of my face and take out the guess work. That didn’t happen this time. But after talking with you and having some time to think, I see the mistakes I made and can learn from them now.Most of the time, if a 2 month “relationship” ends I don’t give a shit and that’s why they usually don’t end because the girl detects that I wouldn’t give a shit and keeps trying to “win me over”. Since she came to me so highly reviewed through friends, I let my guard down and caught feelings too soon because I wasn’t making her prove she was worthy. While I never said it or directly showed it, she could just tell I guess. Hell I didn’t even realize at the time I gave this much of a damn but she did. I definitely fucked a couple things up and now I finally see what they were. Hell I even cancelled another date after I met this girl because things went so well (and I got the flu).
Thanks again for all the help. I’m glad I caught you in a good mood because it may just be what gets me out of this damn funk I’ve been in.
From: DM

Subject: Need your expert advice man please!!! (break up)

Message: So my gf of one and a half years just broke up with me. She said she isn’t happy, that we havent been doing well for a long time and that “She loves me, but isn’t in love with me” (whatever that means).. Anyways, we have had problems in our relationship, but i didn’t think that the gravity of which would culminate in this kind of breakup. We talked, and asked her to work it out saying i could change, be the person she needed to give it a chance, but she was having none of it. I know what it seems like, ive been devastated, but i still love this girl, and am not ready to walk away from such a long relationship without a fight. Ive read different places that the only and best way to get back an ex is to go into radio silence for a month and just work on yourself. How should I go about this, i love this girl with all my heart and would give anything to work things out. Im a fucking wreck, but she doesn’t seem to be too distraught (as she put it she’s ‘numb’ to me). What is a way that i can get out of this and at least have a shot at getting back with her. I know i made the mistake of trying to convince her to try it, but we had had fights before and BAM we were in each others arms again. I need some advice on how to make this relationship work again, and not have people tell me to move on, find other fish in the sea etc.. I need help with this one please!

Thanks and i look forward to your response.

My Response: “i love this girl with all my heart and would give anything to work things out. Im a fucking wreck”

This quote here is the sole reason your girl left you. You care about her more than you care about yourself and because of it you’ve become a burden. You’ve become a weight on her shoulders and this is why she now resents you. You’re draining her. You’re free loading off of the energy she brings into your life. Who wouldn’t be numb to a free loader? She’s lost respect for you because you’ve put her desires too far before your own. And once a woman loses respect for you; her love for you goes right out the window. It happens to the best of us so don’t be so hard on yourself. But you must fucking chill. Any action you take from the mindset that you are currently in is going to push her further away from you than she is now. If you make absolutely ZERO attempts to reach out to her again she WILL come back when you least expect it. But remember I said ZERO! So before you do something stupid like send her a 500 word text or give her a call remember that the action will ruin the 100% guarantee that she WILL return if and ONLY if you make ZERO attempts to contact her again.

Every attempt at contact after that point reduces the chances of her returning by 50%.. But as long as you do NOT, you have a 100% chance that she will return. I swear to you before God.. No woman is special and they all do the same shit.

Work Out, read books, and go hang out with buddies. It’s tough to read with a broken heart i know. Its tough to work out with a broken heart also, but you must power yourself through it man. Its the only way. Just power yourself through making improvements and SHE WILL return when you least expect it.

From: EnKay

Subject: Need and urgent reply!! I Don’t wanna lose her. ( Break up )

Message: Been dating a girl since november. Had a great start. Havent seen her in 5 weeks. Issues at work etc. ive lost my job and havent been myself. Neither had she. Had a bit if distance. Sent flowers to her for valentines day last week, thiught to restart this. We set tomorrow for a date. Been really excited. Then she sent this:

“I tried calling earlier, I’m putting dating on a hold at the minute, not sure what i want. I don’t want to mess you around so thought I would let you know”

How do i respond??

I need your help please?

My Response: Why would you wanna date a girl if your life is currently a mess? Cut it out bro. Don’t you know that if you’re a mess you will only make the life of another a mess? Why fuck up someone else life just because you’re currently lonely? Get your shit together first bro. These chicks ain’t going NO WHERE. You only want her because its appearing that you can’t have her. TRUST ME. If you had her, you wound’t even want her like you do now. You’re listening to the chemicals reactions in your body that are all created from YOUR OWN thoughts and not the honest logic. Fuck her bro.. Not literary.. Like forget her.. Go on with your life. She’ll come chasing you if you do, but as long as you stay obsessed with her mentally, she’ll know intuitively and want nothing to do with you. Women intuition is 10x stronger than ours – we can’t even imagine what this is like. You have to live your life as if everyone is always watching because they are. If you wouldn’t post on the forums about her with her knowing; don’t do the shit thinking that she won’t know. She’ll feel it. Its a topic I cover in my book.

Behave the way you would behave if you had a camera following you everywhere you go linked directly to her television screen and she was watching your every move. Because she kinda is and this will all impact the way she thinks about you when you’re not around. Life is a feeling process. We pick up vibes.. women just pick them shits up stronger. Grow man.. Grow tall and let go. She’ll love you for it.

But whatever you do.. DO NOT HIT HER UP! its the worst thing you can do. And she’ll feel less attraction for you and push you further away.

Peace.

Eddie Fews

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 5:01 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
HAVING STANDARDS WILL HELP YOU CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS



One of the most common issues I come across with men who are looking to improve their success with women is that they have no idea what it is they want outside of physical appearance. They don’t have a type, any standards , or a quality they’re looking for. They’re not approaching women because they’re interested in the woman they’re approaching. Men are approaching women because they’re interested in validating their ego by “capturing” or obtaining the conquest that is set before them. It’s all about the challenge of “Can I get her?” and none of it is about, “Is she a fit for me?” When an approach is made from this perspective the man approaching puts all the pressure on himself to be, say, or do whatever he needs to so that he can accomplish his mission. His approach is then about feeling validated. The woman becomes the one who is in power; because, she becomes the key holder for which the man is searching—whether she realizes it or not. If she says “yes,” then the man feels validated and inflated. If she says no, then the opposite happens. Therefore, any man approaching a woman from this perspective is simply playing a numbers games. His approaches are completely subject to chance—the girl’s mood, the weather, how many other guys tried to approach her that day, etc. Not only does this approach reduce a guy’s probability of success to mere chance, but it also creates a host of other future issues that I’ll be covering below.

You see, a man’s visual nature is the main reason this happens. As men, we often find ourselves ridiculing women for their emotional nature—faulting women for making illogical decisions based on how they feel as opposed to what may be best for them. But how often do we make decisions based on what we SEE as opposed to what may be best for us? How often do we chase the beautiful outside yet shitty inside type of girl to no avail? How often do we care about anything other than what she looks like, what her phone number is and when we can get her alone? Now, in no way am I condemning the pursuit of beauty. Being physically attractive is one of the traits the women in our lives must have, but that should be a given and nothing more. That should only be what makes us give them consideration. It shouldn’t be what makes us interested beyond a conversation. No more than we would require water to be clear and without debris before we consider drinking it, should we require a woman to be attractive before we consider being interested in her. Now could clear water still be contaminated? Absolutely. And in the same light beautiful women could still very well be contaminated physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Therefore as men, we need to be more concerned with a woman’s contents than with how clear and visibly drinkable she may be on the outside. Now if all you’re looking for is a friends with benefits situation or a one-night stand while you’re out approaching women then by all means proceed, so long as your intentions have been communicated. (Now, I think we should also raise our standards beyond just beauty for the type of women we’re looking to be friends with benefits with as well.) But the problem i’m discovering is that too many guys are getting emotionally attached to these women that they haven’t investigated for contamination before deciding to drink from them. As a result, they’re getting emotionally sick and distraught when things don’t work out.

So how should you approach?

First of all, what is it that you want? Do you even know? Are you aware of the qualities, attributes, or type of history you require as a standard for a woman you’re giving the time of day? We all know women want to feel special; they want to feel “CHOSEN” not as if you’ve settled for them. They want to know that you could’ve selected any woman you wanted , but you decided on her because she met your requirements. Her emotional attachment to you will be partially based upon how much thought and energy you put into choosing her. Now if you just chose her because she was attractive it’s going to be a challenge for her to put her trust in you because she sees attractive women all time. How many of them could easily replace her? If that’s all it took for you to want to be with her; that’s all it’ll take for you to want to be with another woman. With that being said, when you approach a woman you must approach her to find out whether or not she meets your standards (once you get some). I know I don’t want a woman who doesn’t have a decent relationship with her father, because her relationship with her father has potential to be a reflection of her relationship with me. Now if the dads isn’t available or if she’s made a concerted effort to reach out to him in attempt to build a relationship, then that’s entirely different from a woman who doesn’t have the desire for a relationship with her father. So when I am out talking to women one of the very first conversations I have with her or listen for or discuss is how they easily they bring up, praise, or talk about their dads. Upon consistent hearing healthy mentions of her dad, or statements about their relationship, I decide that I can invest a bit more interest in her. I also don’t want a woman who has had a large number of sexual partners. For several psychological, physical, emotional and spiritual reasons; one of which this chart talks about below:


{Image]

The more sexual partners a woman has had before marriage the more likely she is to be a contributor to an unhappy, unstable marriage. I’ve spoken before about the more a woman gives something up the less value she will begin to put on that what she’s given up. Where most virgins will develop a strong emotional attachment after sex, highly promiscuous women will put less value on sex and develop less attachment to the people because of how frequently she’s already done it.

Now these are just a few of several of my standards. And don’t make my standards your standards just because you’re reading this article (unless of course they resonate). What are your standards? List them. When you approach a woman, make sure a good deal of the conversation you have with her centers around whether or not she fits your standards. Also understand during this process that no woman is going to meet every single standard on your list; but, let’s say you have nine core standards that you’re looking for in a woman. If she meets six to seven of those standards she’s definitely someone you could continue dating and seeing as a potential for something more.

Now this process benefits us in a few ways… It allows the women we date to value us as someone who isn’t interested in dating just any woman and trust us more because of this. It also allows us to have a more realistic perspective on the women we’re dealing with before we become too emotionally invested. What I’ve discovered from my own life and the guys that i’ve worked with is that once we’re emotionally invested, (and god help us if we’re emotionally invested on looks alone) the less we want to know the real details about the women we’re dealing with. We fall victim to the fantasy. We want to believe that the woman we’re interested in is some magical fairy just because we have feelings for her. Surely our ego won’t allow us to feel like we could become emotionally invested in some girl who has lived her whole life in such a way that is destructive to her future and ours. Surely we’re emotionally smarter than that… Or are we?

When you find out on the first or second day of dealing with a woman that she has ten children by ten different men and that she’s been on and off drugs her whole life, you’re more likely to decide that she’s probably not for you. But lets say you met this same woman and took interest in her because she was beautiful. And lets say you spent thousands of dollars, lots of time, and energy going on dates, sleeping with her, and developing strong emotional connections without the conversation of her children and drug abuse ever coming up in the conversation. Then later it casually comes out after all of this investment. Could you still walk away given all that you’ve invested? I’ve known a number of guys who ended up marrying women who were prostitutes all simply because they didn’t discover who the woman truly was until after they were mentally, physically, and financially so invested that they developed a emotional attachment with the women far too strong for them to do anything about it.

So when you approach a woman and do so from a position of “I know I am good enough, I’m just here to find out if you meet my requirements” not only does it put you in an attractive position of leadership, but it also saves you a lot of emotional investment for someone who may or may not be worth it. It gives you a realistic view point of them. It keeps you from putting them on a pedestal. It gives you a clarity of vision so that you can deal with them accordingly. Once this is done; the woman has no choice but to be emotionally connected to your process of “choosing” as opposed to your process of settling just because you like the way that she looks.

Lets get some standards guys. Grab a pen and paper or open up a note file on your smart phone, and list standards that you’re going to require the future women you approach to meet if you’re going to consider investing in them. Do research, find legitimate standards so that you can discuss them with others if necessary. You’ll be saving yourself a lot of time and energy, and you’ll come across much more attractive to all the women you approach in the future.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:56 pm 
Offline
Read My Book
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:08 pm
Posts: 5028
Website: http://www.EddieFews.com
Location: New York City
Becoming The Woman A Man Needs

So I was recently hired by a highly attractive educated young woman to begin working with her on improving her dating life success. Her, unlike most with her credentials, physical appeal, and youth had decided that enough was enough, and that she was ready for change. She was only thirty years old, had graduated from one of the top ten schools in the country, had her masters, and is damn near making six figures a year doing marketing with a fortune 500 company right here in New York City. Her problem you ask? She somehow couldn’t manage to get a guy to commit to her for any thing other then a long-term friends with benefits situationship. And I do mean long term. She had had one for two years, another for three, and even one that stretched as long as six years that only ended recently after he proposed to, and married his best friend who he had been crushing on all along. So for the life of her, she wondered what she was doing wrong. You see, she wasn’t a bad woman at all. She had kept all of these men coming around for years and years, so there was obviously something about her that they couldn’t so easily let go of. So what was it? Why wouldn’t they commit to her in the way she wanted? This all had led us into a deeper conversation, an as she revealed some things about herself to me, I had encouraged her to do what I refer to as an “honesty exercise” on FaceTime with this new guy that was set to take her on a first date later on in the week.

She told the guy she would like to FaceTime, he agreed, and then he reported back to her the next morning to inform her that he had ‘fallen asleep before he could FaceTime, but that he would prefer to meet in person anyway so i didn’t matter much’. Her response? “ Okay That Works! :) Saturday?” .. And thats when I realized what part of the problem she was having was. She was just too easy. Instead of committing to the exercise that I suggested she did, she allowed the guy of interest to side step it, and pull her right back into doing what it is he wanted without her putting up any resistance. It’s kind of like a girl saying “ I’m saving myself for marriage” on the first date and then the moment a guy says “ Nah. i’d prefer to have sex tonight” , she responds “Okay thats fine”. Wheres the backbone? No Resistance or challenge at all? You know the move women do even when they know they’re going to have sex with you, when they move your hand the first few times you reach for there erogenous zones, just so they don’t come across as too easy.. Not even a verbal one of those? I have no doubt that if this guy has any skill with women, the moment he saw her response he immediately concluded that he would probably be able to sleep with her on the first night.

She asked me what should she have done and I told her she should of busted his balls. I told her it is your job a female companion to bust a mans balls anytime he deviates from his masculinity. It’s the only thing thats going to make him feel like you in fact, have the potential to make him better. Staying true to our word, and doing what we said we would do is a standard that men are held to. A man cannot be a leader if he’s indecisive, doesn’t know what he wants, and his word cannot be relied upon.  Whether he knows it consciously or not a man wants a woman that helps snap him back into position when he falls short of his highest masculine nature. I told her any response such as “ So you didn’t do what you said you would, and now you want me to do what you want? I don’t know mister :P “ would of have been sufficient. She kicked herself a bit and told me that she was just nervous that she would come across "bitchy" if she didn't just go with it. I informed her that when a woman is that easy all she'll do is weaken a guy over time. It's like a mother that feeds a child candy every time they ask. It'll make them happy in the moment, but then what happens in the future? So that behavior is an ego boost for men, and we all know men connect ourselves to women that stroke our egos, but what exactly does an ego boost that isn't deserved do to a man over time? It destroys him. It dulls his blade. It convinces him that the shell of himself that he is currently being is someone good. Men are programed to pass on our seeds, and most of us won't become much more than we have to become to successfully do that. That's what success is to a man biologically; successfully being able to spread your seed as much as possible. This is why the majority of men who go around laying pipe every where don't really do well in life. (Another reason most of our favorite musicians fall off after getting mainstream successful if they're unmarried) . You ever hear a woman say " broke men are the best in bed" ? The success of spreading their seed is convincing their biology that they're already successful. So the motivation to exceed beyond that is non existent. On a biological level this is the case, but a spiritual level men in tune with themselves know something different. We understand that an overly easy going woman will dull our blade, and we subconsciously resent them for it.

Thats what a side chick is for. The reason a man seeks out a side chick, or a “friends with benefits” is so that we have a woman that carelessly pumps our ego so that we feel “good enough” to deal with our wife, or the woman we actually want to be our wives. She boosts our morale and a self esteem, but she doesn’t actually do anything to boost us beyond that. Our wives on the other hand are holding us to the standard of what they know our potential is. The side chicks are the women on the sideline, the cheerleaders, the screaming fan. The wife is that mirror we have to look into at the end of the day when its all said and done. And what would happen to you if you suddenly could no longer gain access to a mirror? You could think you look good all you like, and feel good because of it , but would you actually look good? And until a woman, your wife, or a mirror revealed to you what you actually look like, you could be living a long life of disillusion.

It is important that a wife learns to be both however, lest their man will begin looking for that side chick. Someone to boost his morale, while his wife challenges him to be better. If you could be a mans biggest fan, and his mirror perhaps he would be slower to seek it out else where. But all in all, if he could only choose one, as I told my client, a man wants his woman to be a blade sharpener. Which is why a man almost never leaves his wife for his side chick. He wants to slice through the world as his woman sharpens his blade. My client was just being another portion of the world that men were slicing through. She wasn’t doing anything to make them better at slicing, or to strengthen their blade. Eventually that mans blade would hit a wall that was too thick from him to slice through because he was being convinced that he was sharp enough already, but he was not actually prepared for what was ahead. She was an amazing side chick; probably one of the best, and this was confirmed after she revealed that several of her situationships led to the guys getting married or being in happy long term relationships after her.

The woman a man needs prepares him for the world ahead. I’ve heard story after story of a woman that supported her man entirely after he lost his job, supported him in his depression, only to have him leave her for another woman once he got back onto his feet. But the support they were offering wasn’t the support these mens spirits were actually longing for. They were giving the “ i’m here for you no matter what. Just take your time to figure yourself out” kind of support, but his spirit was looking for that “ I’m here for you, but I’ll have to leave you if you don’t eventually get your shit together” kind of support. Only one of those was actually going to boost him to do something. I’ve told the story a million times of the woman I know who worked a second job and gave all of the money to her boyfriend, and bought him books, until he figured out what he was going to do with his life who’s now happily married to him and wealthy 18 years later. But the difference between her man and most men is the guy she was with wasn’t lazy, unmotivated, nor was he bum. He was selling drugs at a high level, and getting money the only way he knew how. He just didn’t know any other way, so she asked an already ambitious man to stay at home, while she worked until he figured out a way to redirect his ambition. If he went back to the streets during this time, she was going to leave him, she said it. She wasn’t just taking shit; she was taking some, but she was offering true spiritual support. He sat at home, doing nothing but reading for a whole year while his girlfriend worked a second job an gave him all the money, before he become the multi-millionaire he is today.

Now this isn’t some call for women to no longer remain with the guy you’re currently with. It’s a group effort; I’d suggest that if your man isn’t currently being the man you would like him to be then it could be possible that you’re failing as his companion. Especially if he was once a sharp motivated man when you met him that has somehow lost his way. Did you dull his blade? Why isn’t he sharp? What happen to his motivation? And what true spiritual support have you offered him to try to change that? I would encourage all women to remain with a man thats being honest, upright, and treating you with respect. There isn’t an “I” in team, so if your man isn’t being all he could be, it is possible that you may not be being all that you can be to him. Or that you’re not acting as a source of support and motivation thats encouraging him to become more.

In closing,

This isn’t all the pieces to the puzzle of becoming the woman that a man needs, this is just one vital portion that I discovered my client was lacking. This is the edges of the puzzle if you will. Her and I will be completing the puzzle over time as we’ll continue our work. Once you become the woman you’re man needs, once you sharpen his blade, and become his mirror that both highlights his beauty and reveals to him his true self a man will be happy be the man to you and to the world that you've been wanting him to the entire time.

Thanks For Reading.

Eddie Fews

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 25 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link