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PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 8:27 am 
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Went out to a bar/club with the bros last weekend and we talked up three single girls who were all friends. I really hit it off with one of them and she was giving me nothing but positive signs. She was making an effort to laugh at all my mediocre jokes and would ask me follow up conversation questions after each time I would stop talking (it was my way of kind of testing her interest level). Then her friends pulled her in to the dance-floor and I couldn't get her number just yet, so a bit later when my friends all went inside to the dancefloor again, I found her and started dancing with her and she seemed happy and got a bit touchy with me. We tried talking more, but since music was loud, I suggested we went outside where we could talk more easily. She easily agreed and I was able to isolate her in private outside. We sat down and talked, and she told me straight up that she thought I was sexy and was giving me highly attracted looks, then started grabbing me and leaning more towards me while we were sitting down. I asked for her number, and she was a bit hesitant, but gave it to me. I tried a kiss close, but she wasn't comfortable, so we left it as a regular cheek kiss. Then the following day when I texted her, she responded back with a thank you, only to disappear and not respond to my follow up text. Then I got a huge text back saying sorry, you seem like an awesome guy, but I wasn't really myself, I don't give out my number that easily usually, blah blah. Then I asked if I would see her again, and she said she doesn't want to date right now. I left it off heartbroken and confused with a "cool", careless response, but I would like another chance. What approach would be recommended for this? At the same time I don't wanna be a creeper or annoy her even though I'm still not 100% convinced she is sure she doesn't wanna see me.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:38 pm 
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You're wasting your time and effort stressing about this one girl when her interest level is clearly so low to begin with.

You're a couple text messages away from getting blocked, IMO.

Just move onto the next... keep her number in your phone and you never know - she may hit you up in a few months... Alternatively, if in a few months you find yourself single there's no harm in poking her and seeing if she replies back.

For now though, you're done. Just move on and have fun with other girls.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 3:58 pm 
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You're wasting your time and effort stressing about this one girl when her interest level is clearly so low to begin with.

You're a couple text messages away from getting blocked, IMO.

Just move onto the next... keep her number in your phone and you never know - she may hit you up in a few months... Alternatively, if in a few months you find yourself single there's no harm in poking her and seeing if she replies back.

For now though, you're done. Just move on and have fun with other girls.
Thanks for your response man. The only reason I was hesitant about letting this one go so easily was because of the mixed signals I was getting from her (voluntarily saying she finds me sexy and being super touchy with me that night). Why would she do that though???? Based on description, does it sound like I was being led on? I just don't want to waste my time in the future by falling for this type again, so help me identify her kind please, if possible.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 4:09 pm 
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I suspect her initial attraction may have been amplified by alcohol.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:58 am 
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I wonder what you said when the girl said she doesn't give out her number so easily ? That was probably the point where you could've lost or gained value based on how you reacted.

In my experience, a lot of girls go out to have fun (and may or may not sleep with someone). Getting a #close in such cases is completely meaningless...idea is to build a lasting impression and then play it cool later ...

also, trying harder in the same time frame is almost never the right answer, especially when the girl has said a clear no ... if you have her on facebook...build some value using that, and forget her for now...you can try again every couple of months i guess...but again not more than 2-3 texts each time unless she is responding well...

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2015 9:23 am 
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She said she doesn't usually do that and then you proceeded to asking her out.

I swear to god sometimes we think with our dicks and not our heads. Seriously now do you really think that would've worked?

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PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2015 5:06 pm 
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I am not a genius, so whatever i write should be taken lightly.

But i believe she was not looking for serius thing in the club. Just fun for a while. And i believe she was initiating a lot and if you wouldnt ask for her number but played cards right ( just making it enjoyable, less talking more touching laughing) you could have kissed her and maybe even fuck her that night. But i think you were giving boyfriend kind of vibe to her so she didnt want to kiss or to connect to your way of dealing with her and then next day she was regretting the whole thing. Because you texted her and she was giving you signals whole night like a "slut" (in her head) and you wanted to seriously date her ( your vibe ) while she no longer was in her "party mode" and honestly since you didnt connect on the dating level ( she wanted only fling you wanted to keep contact) there is no reason to think she is interested in you at all.

I had similar situation in helsinki.... I was in bar and girl i was talking before with this girl when she got totally drunk grabbed me eventually to dance and later on we made out on dance floor ( she initiated) and then she grabbed me to back room where they kicked us out by staff. Later we went to streets and she had to go on bus and she wanted to meet me again so she gave me # , happened 4 years ago so i dont know, maybe I asked her number and i know that time i was being more like boyfriendy and less sexual.... But next night she responded only that she was sorry and she was drunk and she dont do that usually.... But she didnt want to meet me, she was "super busy".... i think if i would pull her to hotel we would do it.... Didnt even occured to me that time o.O.

So you have to understand and learn to read what the girl probably wants.... not every girl that is into you wants to date you.... Especially in bar.... But! If you would hook up or at least kiss maybe through that you could build connection enough to pull her on date and set the vibe for dating and that could evolve more and more...


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